Very often couples who might have a wonderful happy future diverge because of stupid grievances and quarrels, simply unable to find a common language and on time, calmly discuss the problems that have arisen in the relationship. Very often these grievances are really stupid and trivial. If a person is dear to you, you can not leave it because of trifles. You can just discuss it together and find a compromise. And if it does not work out, then you can reconcile yourself with the small flaws of your beloved, if this is really an unimportant trifle. After all, losing each other is very simple, and it is very difficult to reconcile or build new relationships with someone else.
It happens that the resentment is completely justified, because the beloved person really did a terrible thing, than he caused you heartache. In this case, forgiving grievances can be very difficult. In this situation, it is necessary, first of all, to wait a few days until the turbulent emotions settle down, and you can more or less soberly assess the situation. First of all, think about whether or not your loved one's action is as terrible as you thought. Perhaps you overestimate the situation and understand that they exaggerated their offense and acted on emotions, and now they are ready to forgive him. If, however, your beloved person has really acted so horribly that he caused you very strong mental suffering by his act, then the matter is more serious. First of all, think about whether you love him, even after what he did. Forget for a few minutes about your resentment and his deed and feel, want and you will still be with him, do you think about him, do you remember your happy moments of the relationship. If in the depths of your soul under grievances there was a spark of love, then the relationship must be saved. Insults to a loved one very often close our love for him and our true feelings. In general, under every resentment for a loved one, there is a love for him.
Consider the "layers" of resentment. The first "layer" of resentment is anger, irritation. The second "layer" is your heartache. The third is the fear of losing a loved one and your relationship. The fourth is repentance, but repentance for the fact that you, too, are partly to blame for such a deed of a loved one or that they did not restrain their emotions and allowed the quarrel to flare up in full force. The fifth is love, of course, love. After all, in the depths of your soul you love this person and do not want to lose him. And you are offended at him precisely because you love him. After all, if the person you did not love exactly did, then it would be all the same to you.
Even if the insult is really justified, one should never go against their own principles. You always need to give the person a chance to improve. The best way is to talk to your loved one honestly and frankly, only without emotions and quarrels. Explain to him that he has hurt you very much by his action, but you love him and want to keep your relationship, in the hope that it will not happen again.
There is one very good exercise-meditation, which is called "Forgiving Grievances to the Beloved", it helps to cleanse your soul of offense. After all, offenses to someone you do worse first of all to yourself, your soul is plagued by a negative, and this can lead to nervous disorders and many diseases. Do you know what one version is, what is a cancer tumor? These are unforgiving grievances, which are deeply embedded in the soul and materialized in the physical body. To forgive the person who has offended you in your own interests! This exercise is very simple, but it gives a very positive effect. It is necessary to close in the room, so that nobody disturbs you, turn off the phones, it's best, if there is complete silence, you can turn on music like "Enigma" if your neighbor is talking in the next room. Lie down and relax and imagine yourself on the beach, on a sandy deserted beach. Coming to you is your beloved. Here he came to you. Now you can tell him that he has offended you, but you love him and forgive him. Imagine that he hugs you, kisses and also says that he loves you. As often as possible, repeat this exercise. If the offense is strong, then you will not feel the effect before 5-7 such exercises. During this mental forgiveness, your soul is gradually cleared of resentment, and after a while you will be able to completely forgive your loved one.