Statistics are not indelible and the number of children running away from home does not decrease from year to year. Most parents complain about the state, bad influence from the street, etc., they say, that is why their child fled from home, but few blame themselves, or rather their inactivity. Units go to the psychologist, and he can only guess why the child fled and give some advice and recommendations.
So, everything that happens to a child 100% depends on his parents and the presence of the person who constantly thinks and cares about him. If such a person does not exist near the child, then the state with its funds and organizations that deal with children can not become an alternative to the parent or embody the role of the person who cares about the child. Children are very sensitive and if they see that no one needs them, they begin to behave like they do.
Normal parents are always aware of what and where their child is doing and can almost accurately predict how he will behave in this or that situation. If there is no trust relationship and emotional attachment between the child and the mother or father, there is such a syndrome as social orphanhood. Proceeding from this, it turns out that children run from there, where they are not needed, in the hope that somewhere they will become in demand. Children who do not have a psychological connection with their parents, in most cases fall into bad companies, because no one is watching them, and they do not have an internal self-monitoring mechanism.
They are of no interest to anyone and they are not trained to monitor and coordinate their actions based on common human and family values.
So, let's look at the main reasons that make children leave their home.
- Ill-treatment is the leader among the reasons why a child escapes from home. This is the classic and most common problem, and if earlier the parents had fewer reasons to beat the child, now due to the fact that a modern person has to solve every day thousands of problems, he becomes angry and often pushes his anger at the most unprotected and weak, that is, on a child.
- "Extra mouth . " Poverty is another reason why children decide on such a desperate step, because they run away and think that somewhere they will live better and they will have everything.
- Loss of responsibility . Previously, divorces were not respected, and the institution of the family was violent, the state looked after it and very strictly, no one was looking after the institution of the family, there were no warders that could not be disposed of earlier, as a result, the child was not looked at family, neither in school, nor in sections, and he is left to himself. The child does not occupy anything (there is no money, that time), so he runs.
- Escape as an experiment . The child starts to reflect on life without parents, it is not important whether they died or somewhere they have disappeared, while feeling fear and insecurity. In most cases, before the implementation of the experimental escape, it does not reach or the child partially realizes it by building somewhere a hut. In his temporary home, the child dreams of life without total parental control, but eventually becomes so buggy because cold comes, and it's much more pleasant to live at home, because parents will think about everything and have nothing to worry about and it's so nice to be a child .
- Escape as a protest . This type of child escape is due to the emergence of a conflict situation between the child and parents, or the first simply lacks basic attention. The child wants to punish an adult who in his opinion unfairly punished him, but since he does not have the resources, he dreams of running away, so that everyone misses and cries about him. Very often children run from their social status, that is, they want to live according to the rich. This was earlier, when all were socially equal there was not much to escape, only to big cities, today children are looking for a better life in the capital, where people drive around on expensive cars and can afford a lot. In this case, the escape is not as destructive as drunkenness and drugs, which are an integral part of the life of children on the street. Usually, those who still believe in something are fleeing ...
- Thirst for adventure . Children, both from prosperous and not very families, crave adventures, but few of them embody their thirst for adventures in real life. Especially the development of craving for adventure for children is promoted by adventure films and books, where everything is very colorful and bright, and most importantly - unproblematically and is described in detail, that's the way children go to the fairy tale. Such curious and self-confident children are usually found on the first day and sent to their parents.
- Escape without a motive . Now, unfortunately, the number of shoots from the house is increasing completely without any motive, just like that. Children who find themselves on the street do not know why this happened, but it's much more pleasant to lead a vagabond life than to live in a normal family and go to school.
Do not be afraid to talk to your child about escaping, but on the contrary, you should tell him about your experience or about the experience of a friend who has ended well. To explain to him that the escape is not so bad, if he is thought out and weighed and is committed already in adulthood, that the risk and radical steps need to be considered. For example, to get a sailor in the life of heights, you need to break out of your low social position, you need to get a proper education and then go around the world.
A child in a conversation with you should talk about your fantasies on this topic and maybe you'll learn that his friend plans to run away from home and calls your child with him. In this case, you need to somehow delicately talk with the parents of the child who was going to run away, while not forgetting that your child told you about it in secret.
During the discussion of this topic with the child should focus on the feelings of the parents of the child who ran away from home, because they are experiencing, but still waiting for their fugitive. They do not find places for themselves and wait for a runaway, they will of course be angry, but it's later, and when they meet they will be very happy to see their child, because they love him so much.
It is very important to explain to the child the process of returning the fugitive, that is, that he will be sent to the guardianship authorities, the police will feed, ask the address of the parents and take them home.
After such a conversation, the halo of mystery will disappear, and the escape will lose its attractiveness.
Do not forget that you need to constantly monitor your child, that is, to control the time when he returns home, so that he observes this convention. If the child does not keep his word and returns at an appointed time, this is an excuse for anxiety and you need to ask him in detail what and where he does and is interested in him, and also invite his child's friends to tea. Escape is a serious matter and usually the children are first trained before taking such a responsible step.
And finally. If the child begins to ask you about rope, matches, sleeping bag, etc., be sure to ask him why he had such an interest, because this is a clear signal to something unkind.