Throughout the world, there is a tradition of taking children left without parental care in the family. Is not it time for us to reconsider our views on this problem?
Step 1. Decision making.
Being a mom and dad is a very responsible job. And to become real parents for someone else's child is often a feat. Not everyone is capable of this, but, in fact, those who could cope with such a difficult task, much more than we think. Decide whether you really want to take someone else's child to your family, are you really able to become for him a family, the closest person, and not just a tutor?
Do not take the child, if your actions are guided only by pity. On this feeling of true love you will not build, after all pity quickly passes, when the child appears in usual house conditions. Think many times if you are ready for possible problems, will you have enough patience and strength to give this child as much as you would give to your child.
The best solution is a preliminary consultation with a psychologist. The specialist will help you to understand whether you are ready, whether you are able to become a real parent for someone else's child. Perhaps you will solve some problems before they make themselves felt. This will benefit both you and your future child.
In addition, it is worthwhile to understand that not all can become adoptive parents. The state is very attentive to people who want to adopt a child, so they carefully check each candidate. Better if you are married, you already have the experience of educating your own or others' children. You should not have sexually transmitted diseases, AIDS, hepatitis, syphilis and some others. In addition, the presence of criminal convictions and the lack of a permanent income and living space can become serious obstacles to the dream.
Step 2. Preparation of documents.
In order to become at least a candidate for adoptive parents, you will have to collect not a few certificates. First, you should go to the guardianship and trusteeship agencies, declare your desire to become an adoptive parent and undergo the necessary procedures.
You will need to collect the following documents:
1. a brief autobiography;
2. certificate from the place of work with indication of the position and salary or a copy of the income declaration;
3. a copy of the financial personal account and an extract from the house (apartment) book from the place of residence or a document confirming the ownership of the dwelling;
4. A certificate of the internal affairs agencies on the absence of a criminal record for an intentional crime against the life or health of citizens;
5. a medical certificate issued by a state or municipal medical and preventive institution on the state of health of a person wishing to adopt a child, issued in accordance with the procedure established by the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation;
6. A copy of the marriage certificate (if married).
When the documents are ready, you will be able to register as candidates for adoptive parents.
Step 3. Selection of the child. Choosing a child, each is guided by their own considerations. Someone wants a girl, and somebody only a boy. Someone needs an infant, but someone is an older child, someone is interested in blue eyes and blond hair, and someone's health of the baby. You should know that there are federal and regional data banks that contain information about all children who can be adopted. You will be provided with complete information about each child that you like.
Many believe that choosing a child for a long time is not worth it. In the end, when you decide to give birth to your child, you are also at risk. Children are always a lottery, but adopters are given more chances to choose a baby for themselves.
Once you decide on a choice, you can apply to the court, which will decide on the transfer of the child to the family. Also you can change the name, surname, patronymic and date of birth of the child, if you so wish.
Step 3. Adaptation.
The fact that after adoption is an adaptation period, not everyone knows. Adaptation occurs not only in the child, but also in the parents. Someone passes this period easily, but most families face certain problems. Children often behave strangely - they can fall into childhood, riot, break toys, refuse to obey, sleep, diet regime. Parents often experience feelings of guilt, pity, regret that they made this "mistake." In fact, all this is perfectly normal and in the end, it passes. This period rarely lasts more than 4 months, especially if you work on problems.
Both you and the kid find themselves in a new environment, in new conditions. Undoubtedly. Each of you needs time to get used to each other. Patience, sensitivity, compassion and wisdom will help you overcome these difficulties.
If the adoption is for some reason not suitable for you, and you want to help at least one child, do not despair. There are other forms of placement of children in the family: guardianship, patronage, foster family, family children's home. If your desire to become a parent for someone who has lost them is strong, then you will overcome all obstacles and find a way out.