Syndrome of the honors pupil

Some of them have been studying for five since childhood, but they have achieved little in their lives. Other stars from the sky do not grab, but grown up - go to the leaders. Why does a brilliant start in adolescence not always lead to success in adulthood?


A WANDERER FOR CHRISTIAN EXPECTATIONS


The desire to do everything in life is usually born most often in early adolescence. This is one of the manifestations of youthful maximalism. A capable boy or smart girl grows up, everyone praises him, admires him, and gradually he also begins to admire himself. He wants to do everything better than everyone else - or not at all.


So a person becomes a prisoner of other people's expectations. Everyone expects success from him, and he tries his best, just can not afford to be unsuccessful.


But in life, there are failures. They are unpleasant, but not an excuse to fall into depression, to break. However, this can happen with people with the syndrome of the honors pupil who do not have experience of experiencing losses, losses and defeats.

Such an honors pupil in adult life is cautious and does not risk taking on the burden of the leader: he likes to be an assistant to the leader, an expert, an analyst. He is not able to make decisions in conditions of shortage and overabundance of information or its distortion: the excellent student must first analyze everything, think it through ...

The honors pupil can not go beyond the limits of his competence, because he is afraid to solve the problem incorrectly. He, like a tram, travels along the paved path and can not independently turn in one direction or another.


WHO DRINKS CHAMPAGNE


Another thing is the three-man: he knows from childhood what bad luck is. Yes, quite often he could not solve a problem, but he learned to get out, temporarily reduce his status, cope with humiliation and enjoy victories. This made him flexible and psychologically stable.

Troychnik, not knowing the ford, bravely sticks into the water, is not afraid to go to a place where no one else has been, does not dare to go beyond the limits of one's own competence, because he does not even suspect how extensive his ignorance is. A person with an excellent man's syndrome sorts out the consequences of each step and, not knowing how to solve the problem, does not take up his decision.

Like the fairy-tale Ivanushka, the former middle-aged man boldly jumps into a boiling cauldron - and wins, and the honors pupil often does not take risks - and does not drink champagne.

The honors pupil is afraid to get into a new business, because then it will be necessary at least temporarily to be in the role of an amateur, and this is very uncomfortable for him. Troitschniku ​​is not afraid to look pale, he does not care what they think about him; he is socially independent.

Here are the three main qualities that can make a person a successful man: inner independence from the opinions of others, flexibility and the presence of a goal.


EXAMPLE OF THE BARON OF MUNHAHAUSEN


Can an honors pupil change from a tram that moves along the beaten path, into a powerful all-terrain vehicle that does not zabuksuet on any road? Maybe, although it will not be easy. But he has an assistant - his bright head, his intellect.

• The first thing that an excellent student should do is to split up and look at himself from outside, to talk to himself. To do this, it is very useful to keep a diary. After reading your old records, pulling back, try to understand what you are and what you want to become. In psychology, such a detachment from oneself is called reflexion.

• A more primitive option is to view old photos. That's what I was once, not like this. What did I want, what did I dream about? Why did not it work for me?

• The second way is a dialogue with someone about yourself. It is better if the interlocutor is a professional psychologist.

Try to think together why you can not realize yourself.

• The third way is to ask yourself the main questions: what is wrong in my life; what prevents me from doing something I never did? And finally, what do I want to do for myself in life?

Of course, if you start thinking about such things, there are plenty of good reasons not to drag yourself out of the swamp. But if you realize what the fear of failure can lead to, then there will be strength for a breakthrough.