When a miracle happens, no one knows in advance. Sometimes a person waits for this feeling for many years, but it does not flare up in his heart. But it also happens quite differently ... "Even in the kindergarten, my son fell in love with a girl from the group. He carried her sweets, toys, but the girl categorically did not want to communicate with him. It got to the point that Misha began to sleep badly at night. The teacher said that he even knelt before this girl, so she allowed him to sit with him. I tried to talk to Nastya's parents, but they said their daughter Misha did not like their daughter and they can not help it. We even had to send Misha to school from the age of six, so that he did not meet again with Nastya. Misha has already begun to forget about his "unhappy" love, but this year Nastya also went to school, I'm afraid that this will be a new psychological trauma for her son, maybe transfer him to another school? "
Do you remember the heroes of the film "You never dreamed" - the boy and girl in love, whose parents did not want their children to meet? And the final of the drama "Romeo and Juliet"? There are many examples of how the interference of parents in the relationships of children led to tragic consequences. We often underestimate the feelings of our kids. We think they are not serious, and we are sure that they will pass quickly. The first desire of parents - to help their child - leads, in the end, to the decision to ban, not to let, take ... But how can you forbid or make you love? Avoiding the problem, you can not solve it. Such tactics can lead to the fact that the child, hiding his feelings, will no longer trust his native people, will not consult them. And the parental desire to "lay straws" is unlikely to lead to anything - in the case of love without cones can not do, especially since for the baby it is an invaluable experience of human relationships. Therefore, it is especially important what role an adult will play in this difficult period for a child: a friend who can be trusted with the most secret, or an enemy, from which one wants to escape as quickly as possible.
Will we talk?
If, after all, it happened that your first child came to you, and besides, unrequited love, first, find the strength, patience and time to speak frankly with him. Distract the baby from the first love, invite him to do interesting games, play with friends. Remember your first love, tell him what you felt then, what you thought about, how your further relationship with that person was formed (or did not develop). The kid will be able to understand and listen to your words in the event that your story is emotional and, of course, sincere. During the conversation, it is important to remember that it is up to us, the adults, to determine which trace will leave the first love in the child's soul. Perhaps, to some, children's feelings will seem a little naive and even funny, but in fact, children's emotions may be even more acute than those of adults. Therefore, in an interview with a child you need to be no less delicate than with an adult. Mockery, misunderstanding from the parents can cause the child a real mental trauma, and a feeling of inferiority can even turn into nervous stress, depression. Fear of looking ridiculous in the eyes of other people is capable of killing the very desire to love in a child.
Apple from apple
In pre-school and junior school age (5-9 years), the development of the baby is greatly influenced by the family: children imitate Mom and Dad in everything, including relationships. If a man in a family respects his own wife, then his son will show concern for the girls. If a woman lets herself scream at her husband, then her daughter, most likely, will not be sick with boys. It must always be remembered that from the first days of the life of children we educate future mothers or fathers. It is the behavior of the household who is the benchmark in the world of feelings for the baby. It is important to teach the child how to properly build his relationships with the opposite sex, when children only learn to love and accept love from another person. Do not tell the child: "Yes, you have these Nastia will be ..." Such words inculcate frivolous attitude to love, programmed to numerous partners.Tell your child to respect the feelings of other people.If the object of love does not reciprocate, then he there are reasons for this: Give the child to understand that falling in love is a perfectly normal feeling, which one should not be afraid of and avoid.
In the world of feelings
Experiencing the first love, children very often can not express the whole gamut of their feelings and moods. The task of the adult is to help the child to orient himself in the world of his feelings. Suggest the kid to work out with such simple game-tasks.
"Pictograms"
Prepare chips about 5 cm in diameter from a thick cardboard. Draw on them different emotions - sadness, joy, surprise, fright (it should look something like emoticons). Beat the child various situations that can arise in his communication with peers, and suggest choosing the face that will at this time most suit him in the mood.
"Gardener"
It is desirable that for this game, there are 5-6 participants. Invite the children to choose for themselves the image of a flower - for example, a rose, a chamomile, a bell, a dandelion. Determine with the help of the counters who will be the leading - "gardener." He stands in the center of the circle and says: "I was born as a gardener, I got angry, all the flowers bored me except ... Asters." Astra says: "Oh!" The gardener: "What's the matter with you?" Astra: "In love ..." Gardener: "Who?" Astra: "In Vasilka!" Vasilek: "Oh ...", etc. This game teaches children emotional responsiveness, tolerance.
"Thumbelina"
Reread together this all known fairy tale G.H. Andersen, and then offer to fantasize and tell what would happen to Thumbelina, if the swallow did not have time to take it, if she liked the mole, if she did not meet in the distant edges of the elf or if the elf did not like it. Introducing the options for the development of the plot, the child will learn the flexibility, the ability to look at the situation from different points of view. For a boy, it may be more relevant not "Thumbelina", but, for example, "Steadfast Tin Soldier".
The Tale of Love
To make it easier to understand the child's experiences, you can conduct such a test game with him. Suggest the beginning of the tale: "Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He had many friends, also puppies, merry, strong, deft, like himself. Puppy liked a kitten who lived in the yard. The kitten was so beautiful, but defenseless ... And the puppy fell in love with him. He met a kitten and began to play with him. But the puppy's friends laughed at him: "You're a dog! What do you play with a cat? "And one day a puppy ..." Let the child continue the story. Carefully listen to the answer - what tactics will he choose: will he go about with friends or will he defend the right to his own choice? Refuses from friendship with his beloved creature or finds a way to reconcile friends with someone who is not from their circle. For the girl, change the characters of the fairy tale in some places: the kitten wants to be friends with a strong and clever puppy. You should be alerted by the finale, in which the puppy refuses to communicate with the kitten. Rejoice for the child, if he comes up with how to reconcile other puppies with a kitten (for example, having started a general game).
Let's read
It also happens that the parents' advice is accepted by the child with hostility. He believes that he is not understood, but he still wants to find someone who will experience the same feelings and emotions. The proceeds will come smart and kind ... a book about love. When a child reads a lot, he begins to empathize with the characters of the book, and this contributes to the development of his emotional sphere. And when parents and the baby together analyze what they read, the crumbs also develop logic and intuition. Children of preschool age will understand the story of S.T. Aksakov "The Scarlet Flower." It shows how love brings up in man a sense of duty, responsibility and turns a monster into a human being.
The well-known fairy tale by S. Perrot "Cinderella" teaches that love does not tolerate greed, lies and leads to the triumph of justice and good.In the fairy tale of G. X. Andersen "Swineherd" the prince is ready for the sake of love to make many sacrifices, but for his beloved Exterior shine Discuss the reading with the child, ask why the prince refused the love of the princess, who really loves heroes.
For schoolchildren, offer to read the story of Victor Dragunsky "The Girl on the Ball" (from "Deniskin Stories"), the author very accurately conveys the emotional experiences of the boy related to the experience of the first love. The story will help parents and children better understand each other. Pay attention to how your father feels about his son. Read the "adult" verses with the baby, even if the child can not appreciate the samples of high poetry of Anna Akhmatova, Sergei Yesenin, emotions and moods born of a wonderful feeling of love will be transmitted to him.