How to grow a real man from a boy

The question of how to raise a real man from a boy is probably asked to himself by every parent. But especially often it sounds in single-parent families, where only the mother brings up the boy: if there is no example to follow, the situation becomes much more complicated, and the responsibility grows.

At the birth of a boy on his still fragile children's shoulders, immediately falls the burden of responsibility: this is the heir, the successor of the family and the real man. The concept of a real man - quite blurry and, of course, everyone invests in him something of his own. But some characteristics are inevitably present - a man must be intelligent, strong, reliable and courageous. Over time, the content and meaning of the concept undergo substantial changes: if earlier it was believed that appearance is not the main thing for a man, today a badly clad man is unlikely to be considered "real". The same changes have affected the definition of "honest" - today they prefer the more necessary "enterprising" or "turn-key", because you can not eat one honesty. Therefore, parents first of all need to decide for themselves - what do they want from their son. If all education will be reduced to reproaches "A real man does not do so", the result will be lamentable. After all, the child needs only constructive criticism - instead of saying what he is doing wrong, it is necessary to explain exactly what should be done.

Growing a man from a boy is difficult, because sometimes parents, realizing the degree of responsibility, begin with the diaper to teach the child to the concept of "being a man", and as a result, more often they punish and less indulge than girls. But no matter how much the parents would like to believe that as a result of such "hardening" of their son a man will turn out, this is not so. More often than not, the result of such education is the neurotic child.

So, what can you do to make your son fit your ideas about a real man, how to create a real man from a boy who would be your support and joy in old age? While the child is small, be gentle and affectionate with him, excessive severity in this case will not help to achieve the desired result. At the heart of your relationship to your son and his relationship to you must be first and foremost love. Subsequently, it is this model of relations that the boy will transfer to adulthood - so will his relationships with the girls be built. In order to be an adult man, your son was a gentleman, he should become so now. Explain and demonstrate to your son that you are a woman, a mother - and need his help and protection. Even a small boy can help you - take away a cup, a plate or serve something necessary. If there is a dad - he, too, must support you in this game. A father can explain to his son that they are men, and should take care of their women as much as possible.

A more mature boy must necessarily give way to transport not only to his mother, but also to other women and girls. Do not forget to praise your son, to note that he behaves like a real man and you are proud of him. For boys, praise often means a lot - they are by nature more vulnerable than women and need encouragement. In addition, boys are more demanding of themselves than girls - and every remark makes them even more closely monitor themselves. If he hears from his parents only about his shortcomings, and all his good deeds remain unnoticed, the child's self-esteem begins to fall precipitously. In this case, for parents, the main thing is not to go to extremes. Too many laudatory speeches are also bad, as are too many remarks. A capricious, pampered boy, confident in his unsurpassability, is also far from the image of a real man, like a nervous and hammered child, who is afraid of every parent word.

It is known that almost all the boys are big hooligans, and parents often keep an eye on the tricks of their child, trying to grow a real man out of him, warn them in time, protect them from dangers and show concern. It also needs a golden mean - give the child some freedom, he must learn to make his own decisions, show courage and courage. Your task is to explain to a tomboy what is true courage and what is false. Give direction to his actions, do not demand unquestioning obedience, but make sure that the general course of movements and actions of the child is correct. In this case, the most effective thing is the education of a boy by the example of a father, brother, uncle. If the family does not have men - give it to the sports section, where the coach is a man, or talk with one of their school teachers, with someone from their male friends.

Information on how to behave a real man, boys are most easily learned from the mouth of the "living example." But in the conversation "men with men" also have their own subtleties. Often from the pope you can hear the phrase "well, you're roaring, because you're a man" or "men do not cry." Boys after such phrases often begin to think about the fact that they are not real men and become withdrawn, embarrassed to show emotions. But tears and the notion of masculinity are not connected with each other. Let the boy express his emotions as he can. Over time, he himself will understand how to act. And now try to educate his masculinity differently - let him help the father in men's affairs - bring weight (for the child, of course, the gravity should not be heavy, for example, bread from the store), help the pope with household chores. If the family has a division of the cases into masculine and feminine, the child will inevitably transfer the same model to his future family, and this can instill in the child false ideas about masculinity, for example, to help mum with cleaning - not manly. Much more correct is the model "who is free - the one who does." In this case, both mom and dad can attract a little son, but already a real man, to simple work - to wipe the dishes, remove their toys.

Do not forget to give time to talk with your son. But let this conversation be not just your monologue on the topic of how he should act. Now you know how to grow a real man, because your task is first of all to hear your child, understand his feelings and answer all his questions. The optimal form of conversation is dialogue, where replicas are not just a formality. It is important that the conversation is meaningful, interesting to you and the child. Then sincerity in relationships will be the best incentive for the development of masculine qualities in your boy.