Let's start by defining the causes of family conflicts.
Scientists suggest that conflicts in the family can be provoked by the inconsistency of the work of the "biological clock" of the spouses. For example, "larks" feel cheerful in the morning, their brain activity is free, they feel cheerful, but "owls" still can not wake up. And they are not ready for intense brain activity. If the husband and wife belong to different categories in the family, then, in the mornings and evenings, conflicts may arise. But this is only a guess, so you do not need to dump all your family problems on the biological rhythm of your family. Just do not need to find out the relationship from the morning or before bed.
It is sad, often family conflicts do not arise because of what. Here, for example, this situation. The working day, which was not one of the easy ones, is over, you finally go home. In a minibus, someone pushed you, or ruffled you, barely coming home, exhausted and, falling off your feet, you are greeted by a hungry husband and a child who needs help to make lessons. Everything starts to boil inside of you, a feeling of anger begins to ripen, a conflict is brewing. You spit out all your negative emotions on family members, the conflict situation reaches its peak, you realize that you do not have to continue shouting, silently go to different corners of the house. This style takes several days. You and your husband are not talking, and he is with you, too. Each of you already wants to make peace, but no one is apologizing. After all, you both think that you are right, and why it is you who should be the first to apologize. The day passes, the second, the evenings are held in silence, no one talks to anyone, and the phone as silently silent. You are already thinking:
Sometimes, to resolve family conflicts, it makes sense to turn to a psychologist.
A psychologist is a person with an independent point of view, which means that it is easier for him to indicate to you the cause of conflicts in your family and help them to solve and avoid in the further family life. Consultation of a psychologist is one of the most reliable ways to resolve family conflicts.
Many people are skeptical about this issue. After all, they are embarrassed by the fact that one must go to some uncle or aunt and tells her about her family and her problems. But to dispel these doubts, we will tell you about the benefits of psychological sessions. They help to find the most correct way out of the conflict situation that has arisen. After all, you are referring to a person who is competent in the field of psychology and does not pursue his personal goals and will certainly help you make the right decision.
Unfortunately, in our country this is not a very popular way of solving our problems. People do not want to spend money, time, etc. After all, the experts of this case are not so many, many more than those people who just want to earn, even without a profile education or sufficient experience. But still, people need to understand the fact that when conflicts arise in the family, it is better to consult a knowledgeable person than with the same girlfriend. Since your girlfriend may envy you, that's why she will specifically give such advice, which will not help, but will only exacerbate your family situation, or her view of family life is not quite right. Or advice from your close relative, who is not very supportive of your spouse, will give you advice that will hurt your relationship. Well think over this question.
Sometimes, conflict with the family can lead to harmony in the relationship.
If you find out the relationship without aggression, in lowered tones, the conversation can turn out to be more productive, and the negative connotation from it will disappear. Let's go to the conflict situation on the other hand, because it does not always carry a negative side, because the conflict always brings in the family some changes. And it can serve as a kind of shake-up for your monotonous relationship.
When the conflict is in full swing, the husband and wife very often already forget his reason. They are already just remembering all the resentments and resentments of their personal lives, everything that they had accumulated over the years of their life together, everything that they had not previously said, and it was slowly eating them from the inside. Dumping all this dead weight on your loved one, you make a big mistake. But this is strictly prohibited! You should immediately clarify for yourself what you are trying to figure out, and understand this reason, in the situation that you have developed at the moment.
Of course, in no case, it is impossible to use threats in a conversation about leaving a family, divorce, etc. They either cease to act in due course, or you, sooner or later, will have to fulfill them.
We suggest that you do otherwise. If you notice that there is a conflict in your family, you need to think ahead about what you will say and how. You need to conduct an internal analysis of yourself. Of course, this is not easy, especially when everything inside you is boiling and foaming from the accumulated reasons for conflict. But who said life is an easy thing? But, however, this self-analysis will bring its positive results. After all, in this case, you can avoid screaming and meaningless reproaches. You and your spouse can find out the relationship without hysteria, in low terms. This can not even be called a conflict. You just have a talk, explain to your husband what you want to change in the current situation and listen to his opinion. Then, we would define joint ways out of this conflict situation. This way will help you in the future to help you understand how to avoid conflict in the family. You just need to calmly explain your grievances, listen to the claims to you, and come to a common conclusion in order to get out of this situation.
But apart from the family, you still have friends. We love our husbands and children very much, but no matter how much we love them, we lack those people who are ready to join us in any day and hour, to support in a difficult moment and rejoice for you in the good moments of life. Some families have friends in common, some do not. But it also happens that conflicts happen not only in the family, but also with friends. And, sometimes, we stop communicating with them.
Of course, we do not want to break off friendly relations, even when there is a very serious reason for this. We want to avoid this in every possible way, because you have experienced so much together. Often, many of us can not keep friendship, because they do not know how to avoid conflict with friends.
With friends it's better just to be friends, not to conduct a joint business or be colleagues at work. This very often leads to conflicts, and the friendship ends here. After all, your friend can be a good person and companion, but in work you can not agree on opinions and actions. It's better to tell each other about your work and employees annoying you than to become such an employee for him.
Many people put an inflated bar of demands on themselves and others around them. This quality, probably, provides stability in society. But it definitely hinders relations with friends. Because a good person can also make a mistake and commit a bad deed. If you break off relations with all who stumbled and did something that you think is wrong, then a couple of years will pass, and you will celebrate the New Year in proud solitude. Try to understand the reason for this act of your friend, not to become his place, after all.
Spouses can help each other if their half is in conflict with their friends. The cause of men's conflicts often become business problems. A wife can not tense the situation, but help her husband smooth out the acute angles of the situation. You can convince your spouse that life has not come together with a wedge at work, it's more important simple friendly communication. But the main reason for quarrels between women are interpersonal problems. Husbands, who in turn consider them trifles, can help their wife understand this simple truth, and do not take so much to heart everything that someone there said wrong.
If you are very angry with a person, still try to follow the basic rules of behavior in a conflict situation. You must deal with a specific situation, and not go over to the individual. You need to talk more about feelings, and do not stigmatize your friend. You can not go on to discuss family members and touch on the topic of children. Do not threaten and bring the situation to the word "never".
It is necessary to try to look at the situation from the side, through the eyes of a detached person. Put yourself in your friend's place and try to understand his motives. Why did he do this, and not otherwise, why did he say exactly what he said. Yes, all because he is also emotional and has human feelings.
Do not harbor resentment against your friend and live with her all your life. After all, they can inhibit the restoration of relations with your friend and not the best way to influence your own mental state of health.
Do not be afraid to take the first step towards reconciliation with your friend and apologize. To talk heart to heart and understand that the conflict was useless, but you were outraged. With the help of this you will only win.
Look a few years ahead and understand what will happen when you completely break off your friendly relations. What are the pros and cons of this you get. And then you can already make your choice. Still, break off the friendship or continue it in the present and in the future.
All those rules and tips that we mentioned above can help you answer the question: "How to avoid conflicts in the family and with friends." With their help, you will be able to find ways to avoid conflict situations, not humiliating, and not insulting each other. They will help you learn how to connect the mind and turn off emotions during the maturing scandal. After all, family and friendship are immeasurably valuable, and it is better to make some efforts and somewhere to restrain yourself in order to avoid conflicts in the family and with friends, than then regretting your own harshness and suffering from the fact that you offended your native people.