How to change a guy for the better? How to help him understand that everything in the world is colored, not black? How to save him, from him? It is worth immediately warning that it is very difficult to fight such people. They repel those who do not fit into their life concepts. Even knowing that it is a beautiful person. He can call you an angel and avoid meeting precisely because of this. You can awaken in him feelings, and so strong that he will simply be afraid of them. In addition, next to him there are always friends who tell that he is doing everything right. And, often, they sincerely think that this will be better. They do not even realize that their close person is already standing on the edge of the cliff, and they are pushing him down with their own hands. Therefore, if you know his friends well, try to explain to them that you should not indulge in this guy in his desire to be bad. If you do not want to, then do not dissuade, but at least stop praising it.
In order to understand how to change a guy for the better, you need to know the reasons for his behavior. Good people never try to seem bad for nothing. There are reasons and they are hidden in childhood. And, most often, in the family.
Perhaps the guy just had a set of dislike. It happens when children live in single-parent families, especially if there is no father or mother. And the parents are alive and well, they are simply not interested in their children. In such families, the pope, usually, it is not known where, and mum, appears once a year, gives something and disappears. Ask the young man, maybe he grew up with his grandparents, and he just did not have enough maternal love. By the way, the lack of just this, is visible even by behavior. Such young people like to caress and embrace in such a way that one involuntarily wants to rock him, like a little child, to stroke his head and say that everything will be fine.
If so, try to learn as much as possible about his childhood, relationships with relatives and friends. If your boyfriend has an extraordinary mind and likes to say that as a child he was interested only in books, be sure that in fact, he was simply repelled. In childhood, we do not know how to appreciate the mind and erudition. Therefore, most likely, courtyard companies did not perceive it, so he decided to be an evil genius, such a Mega-Brain, to protect himself from dislike.
In fact, such people really need love, understanding and kindness. But, they deny it, even before themselves. Therefore, you have to spend a lot of time and effort to convince a person that his views are wrong and in harmony with himself you need and you can live.
Self-hatred is one of the main reasons for wanting to be bad. It does not matter whether a young man admits or denies, but he hates and looks at himself. The reason for this can be a lot: unsuccessfully chosen specialization in the university, lack of advancement in the career, not particularly attractive appearance and other. He flatly refuses to accept that if you love him with all the minuses, then why can not he love himself.
Because of the negative attitude towards one's own person, such a person simply can not believe that he needs someone in this world. Often, behind the mask of evil genius, a very sensitive soul hides, which is easy to offend. There are too many offenses, so he pushes people away, so that no one will hurt him again.
You will have to make a long way through his shell to change this guy for the better. It will take more than a month, until he realizes that you love him "for no reason." You must make this person love yourself, make you believe in yourself and open yourself. But violent methods do not fit here. We must act very subtly. Never speak of something as if it were an indisputable fact. Even if in reality it is true. Just give him food for thought, and do not argue, wanting, by all means, to defend your opinion. This behavior will simply repel him, make him stubborn and become self-absorbed. You just need to tell him the events from life, how about, among other things, remember the opinions and fates of various people, in general, say what can break his unhealthy attitude toward reality.
Never force this person to do anything. If you are loyal, then he will do everything because of inner kindness. And again: do not say that he is good. Never and under no circumstances. Praise, support, but do not use the phrase "you are good". Such people perceive these words as a personal insult. He has fought for so many years for the title of "the worst person on the planet", and you so easily destroy all the fruits of his efforts. The more you say that he is good, the more he will prove his negativity. Even without wanting to do this, even knowing that it will help greatly offend, he will wade to the end. His stubbornness and your steadfastness in judgment will lead to quarrels and resentments. Therefore, pretend that you completely agree, and persuade him. Subconsciously, imperceptibly, do everything to make him remember his kindness and cease to be afraid of it.
Surround your young man with love and care. Just do not overdo the stick and do not play the role of mom. Do everything moderately, but so that he feels that someone really needs someone, that he is loved and respected. Even if he will resist all this, sooner or later the wall will collapse and the mask will fall. And, at that moment, he will finally be able to show everyone what you saw in his soul and admit that he is good.