Often jealousy arises from distrust primarily to yourself, to a partner. Jealous people begin to compare themselves with a potential or real rival, and as a rule, their chances are low. "This lady is more beautiful / smarter / taller / well-read, but what if she likes it?" This is the true reason for jealousy. For all jealous, the root of evil is a low self-esteem. Insecurity in itself generates similar thoughts: "If someone is better than me, they can neglect me."
In any case, jealousy is a destructive feeling that does not bring harmony and satisfaction in a relationship. It is exactly the opposite of love. After all, love, first of all, is based on trust, respect, sympathy. True love, she is without conditions.
If you are jealous of the past, then you have not completed those relationships, not lived your feelings, which are related to that situation. And if all this is true, then this will have a bad effect on your new real relationships and on your condition. Therefore, we need to finish that situation, and leave everything in the past. We need to live in the present, deal with what is, do not fantasize, take full responsibility for our feelings, actions, thoughts and be ourselves.
The Ten Commandments of a loving woman. Psychologist's advice
The psychology of men is that they constantly want change. If you really value your man, you need to learn to make typical mistakes that will turn you into the one you want to escape from. Psychologists identified 10 points of "misconduct".
1. The most effective stimulus is notation and hysteria. If you are indulging in this unfavorable state, then most likely you will not be heard, but only be the object of hidden irritation. Relationships kill constant discontent with the behavior of a loved one, situations and life.
2. You do not need to be with your loved one 24 hours a day, because when he is nearby, he feels normal needs, such as football, fishing, the desire to see a close friend. He must and can have corners of the soul, where he will feel comfortable. We need to spend part of our time separately from each other, then the meetings will be welcome and sincere.
3. Do not change your loved one in the image and likeness, love him as he is, pay more attention to his positive qualities than to shortcomings.
4. Every day try to be different from yesterday, at first it will seem complicated and strange, but after a while you will like this game. Internally, you have remained true to yourself.
5. Do not show helplessness. Feel your independence and self-sufficiency. Do not bother him with endless calls, several times per hour, it will cause only a negative reaction. When you call, try to find out the main thing, do not take it and your time with minor questions.
6. Do not you dare to be jealous. Jealousy is a sign of a subconscious desire to master a man as a thing, close a man to the castle and contemplate it from morning till evening. With this, nothing good will come of it. Constant suspicions about delays from work or activities, reading SMS, can call into question your relationship.
7. A big women's mistake that can cost you dearly is love to gossip. Try to solve your problems with your loved one, do not take dirty linen out of the hut. Do not talk about how uncomfortable he will feel in the company of one of your friends.
8. Do not think that your loved one will enthusiastically take your passion to go to markets and shops. Any two joint trips will ruin the cordial relations. Therefore, it is advisable to go shopping with your girlfriends, and you will have something to discuss.
9. Never insist that your loved one share your feelings and thoughts. If he is not going to be open-minded, then it's better to postpone the conversation later.
10. Do not force yourself to wait too long. After all, it is difficult to find a man who would be delighted with it, that you were late for an hour and a half.
How to deal with jealousy
1. Keep your mouth shut.
2. Even if a chic young man drove you up in a chic car, do not rush to share this news with your beloved, you're not at confession.
3. Do not call your beloved Sasha if his name is Misha.
4. In the presence of a sweet do not remember your first and last love.
5. Even if there are enough reasons, dismiss all suspicions, and do it resolutely and confidently.
6. Learn to convincingly lie. This skill can work miracles.
7. Just in case, take care of the alibi. The most reliable alibi will be provided by mom and dad, and not the best friend.
8. To the question: "For whom have you dressed up?" Answer meekly: "for your beloved."
9. Do not lock yourself in a room with a handset in your hands, call secret numbers alone.
10. Every morning, report to your loved one about plans for the day, and in the evening discuss the results of the past day.
11. Do not flirt with other men in his presence.
12. If flirting with other men in his absence, do not share your impressions of flirting.
13. Scold beautiful athletes, artists, TV presenters. Admire only fat, bald and repulsive characters.
14. When going on leave, take children or mother. She will look after the children, and you will relax from the close participation of the sweet.
15. Do not bring sexually into sexual life with sexual innovations that you have not been accepted before. Everything should look natural, as if you thought of it solely because of his bedtime merits.
16. Discuss your family life more often, that you will keep loyalty to each other.
17. Do not change the hair color and hair style without notifying the beloved, it is better to say in advance for 3 or 4 days.
How to deal with jealousy, following the advice of a psychologist, you will increase the chances of success for a person who is dear to you. In order not to be jealous, you need to believe in yourself, in your beloved person, in your strengths and build relationships not on deceptions and inconsistencies, but on trust. Everything can be solved through dialogue.