The classical version of love dependence - when a guy or a girl wants to end a relationship, but can not do it and even if it does happen, life loses any meaning and the joyful bright days come on a sad existence.
Below are the signs that indicate your dependence on a loved one:
- Life becomes depressed, persecuted by constant depression, everything seems empty and unnecessary;
- You begin to idealize your soul mate;
- Relationships cease to give you joy, but to break them is not strong enough;
- Love is often replaced by hatred and vice versa;
- Everything you do is definitely for your loved one;
- Old ties and friends are a thing of the past.
Very often emotional dependence interferes with a healthy relationship, because your partner may not need excessive love and your abundant attention. A person dependent on a partner may not understand this, and try everywhere to please his second half.
In general, such emotional attachments are subject to women, but it also happens that some men are not less prone to this. Depressions, other diseases, general weakening of the body is not the whole range of problems that appear after dependence on a loved one.
Where does dependence arise?
There are people who are addicted to addictions more than others. Why is this connected?
The addiction to dependence is formed rather early. Usually it's a year and a half. It is at this time that the child in the psyche is laidbasic ideas about how his further interaction with the surrounding world and the people surrounding him should take place. Parents try their best to create this world for the child, who will satisfy all his needs, both in nutrition, and in bodily comfort, communication, emotional support and love. If during this period a child lacks something, he begins to feel hunger for a lifetime. Often, even in the most advantaged family, the child is faced with the fact that he does not find a quick fulfillment of his needs.
Such a partner will find a person all his life who can give him what he did not have in his childhood: unquestioning love and understanding, independent guessing of needs, fulfillment of whims, desires and so on. Of course, this is impossible. An impossibility is the progenitor of anger and despair, which are able to turn even the strongest love into a nightmare.
What to do and how to remain dependent?
Before you start talking about ways that will help to overcome a mental disorder, it is worth paying attention to one significant point.
Although it is extremely difficult to say goodbye to such a disease, the psychic dependence is treated much more difficultly than the physical one, and a person who has managed to cope with such a situation at least once, will not meet with it any more.
Delete all contacts
Emotional dependence is a disease, and we know that any disease can be cured after its root cause is eliminated. Removed the source of suffering, they stopped suffering. No farewell romantic dates, calls, sex, correspondence in different social networks and the like. You must delete all contacts. Otherwise, you risk running into the fact that your farewell encounters of suffering will last at least another month. However, you should not expect that you will get rid of the pangs within a week. Most likely, you have to tune in to what will be significantly worse.
Occupy yourself with interesting activities
You can devote yourself to any hobby, the main thing is that it takes away all your time and your thoughts are just about that. In the first days, it will be necessary to force oneself to do something, since adaptation in such situations is very important.
Psychological help
Sometimes the intervention of a professional psychologist may be required. The thing is that the cause of the appearance of painful attachments lies in a deep subconscious, but they take their origin in a distant childhood. The most emotionally dependent people are those who have not received attention and affection and whose needs have not been met.
But still, you can achieve much yourself. The technology that we present to your attention will help ease your condition and learn how to respond adequately to your feelings and desires.
- Imagine your connection with a partner. How does she look? What is it: aura, thread, rope, ray?
- Mentally break this connection.
- Realize what kind of loss you suffered - that is, how profitable was your existence with this person. The benefits are both material and emotional.
- Imagine that you have all these resources. Where else can you find them? Try to find at least three sources.
- Now, mentally attach this ideal image to yourself. Use the same connection that connected you with your loved one. If in your case this is a red thread, here everything should be the same.
- Associate yourself with your new way. Feel how superb it is to have all these resources and share them with others. By this you will be able to strengthen communication with new opportunities.
- Think about where you can use your new features. What impact will these changes have on your life? What will you do for this? How this time will your relationship develop with the object of attachment?
- Imagine and plan your future without a partner. Always consider other options for the development of events.
When dependence disappears, neurosis and manipulation cease to pursue you. Pain and longing disappear, a lot of space is freed for true love - without suffering, anxiety, humiliation, depression and obtrusiveness.