Excellent relationship with mother-in-law is possible only, alas, and ah, if you live separately. But what if there is only one living space and the landlady is she? All your "pink dreams" about family life can collapse in a moment, if your mother wants to do it.
The best option for maintaining family happiness and good relations will be moving to a rented apartment. This is the choice most of the young couples who have lived under the same roof with their parents for several months.
Of course, there are wonderful mothers who do not interfere in the lives of children, do not "learn to live", do not climb with their advice and do not enter the room without knocking. But this is an ideal option, we, we are considering the situation when everything is not so well.
In the first months of your life together, your mother-in-law will be following you closely. Will note all the shortcomings, oversights and mistakes. If you do not know how to cook, do not like to get out or do not know how to sew buttons, be prepared for the fact that "mom" will start to teach you.
My mother-in-law has already formed her own opinion about you. Most likely, she believes that "you are not a pair of her beloved son." But since the son chose this bride, it means that she will have to be raised. Naturally, you, as an adult, this situation will start to irritate. You have long since emerged from the age of "little girl", which you can shpynayat, and poke into her mistakes.
Guided only by the best motives, the mother-in-law begins to criticize and teach you, gradually beginning to control the life of your family. It is worth hinting to "my mother" that: "well-intentioned way ... you know where." Perhaps such a stubborn rebuff will diminish the ardor of mother-in-law for some time.
Do not under any circumstances adapt to "Mom"! You have your own family, your views, your rules and you have the right to live as you see fit. "To dance to someone else's pipe" is a bad choice. Gradually, personal dissatisfaction, the impossibility of self-realization and the degree of irritation will reach the limit, and you will leave your husband whom you really love.
It is very important that the husband participates in your relationship with the mother-in-law. He, as a person close to both women, should smooth out all irregularities, find compromises and understand that your family should live separately, and do something for it. If your husband let things go and does not want to participate in the showdown, draw conclusions. Most likely, before you a representative of the category "Mom's son" or just a weak person. Whether to stay with such a husband is up to you.
The reason that daughters-in-law and mother-in-law can not coexist normally together is in two eternal conflicts: conflict of interests and a conflict of generations. It is possible that your current mother-in-law once was also a daughter-in-law in her husband's house, where his mother just mocked her. The desire to take revenge, sometimes, does not go away with people all their lives. And now you appear in her house. What is not the best way to pour a long-term malice and resentment on you?
Our present is very different from the time in which our parents lived. They are not used to and do not understand how one can perform certain actions, which for us - everyday things. Attempts to accept and understand other people's rules of life are initially doomed to failure. Let each generation live its own foundations and not climb into the other with its advice.
Conflict of interests arises when the mother-in-law understands that she ceased to be the main one for her son. Now in his life there are you, and it is for you, he now pays all his free time, all his love and affection. Try to explain to your husband that he must remain the son of his mother, pay attention to her, take care and take an interest in her life. Perhaps such measures will help you at least a little in maintaining normal relations with your mother-in-law.
The most important reason for the life of a young family with parents is the desire to buy their own apartment. Of course, housing prices are now insane, and it takes a long time to accumulate the right amount. If you understand that your husband is satisfied with living in the same apartment with his parents, and he is not going to buy or rent his apartment, it is worth considering. Are you ready for the next 15 years to see your mother-in-law every day.
Despite all the problems, conflicts that can arise, if you live with your husband's mother, you must remember that you love your husband and no difficulties, and even more so, someone's machinations are not capable of destroying a happy family.