Each model of family relationships has its pluses and minuses, so it can not be said that one model is uniquely good, and the other is unequivocally bad. Each person should choose which family relationships are most acceptable and convenient for him, and this depends on the nature and temperament, and on the upbringing of a person.
It is very important for a person to know: which model of relations is the most acceptable for him, and which he categorically does not accept. After all, according to the majority of psychologists, the happiness of people in a joint life depends first of all on how much their ideas on how the spouses should behave in family life coincide. After all, if a man believes that the main thing in the family should be him, and the woman is confident that the last word in solving family problems should always be behind her, then such a pair is most likely doomed to constant clarification of relations and a quick break, even despite the mutual passion and sincere desire to be in place.
Not the best way things will be in the case of the spouses, if the man is used to think that the wife should solve all family problems and make final decisions in any issues, and the woman, at this time, will expect from the man of determination and initiative and believe that if he is a man , it means that he must solve his problems and his own. So, family psychologists correctly believe, arguing that there are no bad and good husbands and wives, but there are compatible and incompatible people.
The basic models of relationships are three:
1. The patriarchal model. In this relationship model, the main role in the family is assigned to the spouse who boldly assumes responsibility for the whole family and himself, usually without consulting his wife, makes important decisions concerning the whole family. A wife, in such a family, usually takes the role of housewife and keeper of the hearth or a spoiled capricious girl whose desires are quickly fulfilled by a loving and caring father.
The advantage of such a relationship is that a woman feels herself to be a stone wall behind her husband and is free from self-struggle with various worldly difficulties and problems. The husband, with this model of relationships, often not only has a strong and determined character, but also earns well. The main disadvantage of patriarchal relationships between spouses is the wife's complete dependence on her husband, who sometimes takes the most extreme forms and threatens a woman with total loss of herself as a person. In addition, if a man suddenly decides to divorce, a woman who, after many years of marriage, has become unaccustomed to the struggle for existence, may feel unhappy and helpless and not be able to settle well in life, especially if the children stay with her, and the former spouse will reduce the material help to a minimum.
2. The matriarchal model. In such a family, the role of the head of the family is performed by the wife, who not only controls the budget and solely takes all decisions that are crucial to the family, but also often tries to influence the interests and hobbies of her spouse. Such relationships are usually formed in a family where a woman, firstly, earns significantly more than a man, and secondly, has a stronger character and is not afraid to take on both the family and work traditionally male responsibilities. A man can also be pleased with such a relationship, if not very eager for leadership, and especially if in his childhood he had before his eyes a similar example of parents. The downside of such a relationship may be the possibility of a sudden entrainment of the wife by a stronger man, compared to which the ever submissive and quiet spouse may seem boring and uninteresting to her. Although a strong and domineering woman is unlikely to coexist peacefully with a strong and powerful man, so, more often than not, such women, even when building relationships on the side, seldom drop their comfortable and cozy husband.
3. The partner model. With this model of relationship, the spouses are usually equal in rights and share both rights and responsibilities. Ideally, they have both common interests, and are considered to be different from their own, the interests of the partner. In such a family, the spouses usually have approximately the same status and income, which does not give an occasion to one of the spouses to consider himself in something better and more successful than the partner. Important decisions of the spouse are taken only by consulting with each other and the household economic duties are distributed equally. The advantage of such a relationship is the ability of each partner to reveal in marriage itself as a person and a unique individuality. And the minus may be the sense of rivalry that has arisen among the spouses and the desire to overtake the partner in some way, which can lead to gradual cooling between the spouses and mutual alienation. To prevent this from happening, there should be not only passion and mutual sympathy between the spouses, but also mutual respect.