Before the New Year, conflicts are often aggravated. A beloved man does not want to take you to rest in hot countries, and even it turns out that he did not even plan to celebrate the New Year with you in the same company. To you at home, distant relatives ask, which you do not long to see. The boss forces you to go to work, despite the holidays. Children beg for very expensive gifts. Reasons for resentment can be many. And the only way out is to learn how to forgive.
What are dangerous unforgiven grievances?
All processes in the human body are regulated by the central nervous system and consciousness.
We eat, move, say - all these actions we can stop and start when we want. But are we able to accelerate or slow down the work of the heart, affect the operation of the stomach and intestinal motility? Paradoxically, but in many respects - yes. When we feel resentment, anger and irritation, the production of some hormones increases, which immediately affects the well-being. Heart palpitations increase, pressure rises, the work of the gastrointestinal tract is disrupted. We influence the condition of other people. In a room where tension reigns, stress is experienced by all present. And among the cheerful, benevolent people, and it feels good and warm for us.
Emotions are contagious. And what happens in the body if the infection is not treated? The focal point of the disease fades, but does not disappear. And with a decrease in immunity, a relapse occurs. Unforgiven grievances accumulate inside, poisoning and beginning to influence behavior and speech. Man becomes evil and bad. In addition, negative emotions are reflected on the face. Forgiveness is one of the best cosmetic and revitalizing procedures. Cultivating an insult, a person as if declares himself a victim and ... provokes others to offend him again and again.
How to leave grievances in the old year?
Analyze the situation. Even if it seems to you that you were unjustly offended, think, what could you cause such behavior? Answer honestly:
- Could you prevent a negative development of events?
- Did you offend those who offended you? Maybe you hurt your pride, did not fulfill your promises? Is your abuser really bad? What did he expect from you? Could he have acted differently? Maybe he just had no choice?
- Do you take advantage of the status of an offended person? Do not you try to hide behind grievances and shift responsibility for your life to others?
- Do you allow yourself to be manipulated?
- Are not you too demanding of others?
- If you are offended by life (not that appearance, lack of money, connections), then what did you yourself do to change it?
- Do you strive for the ideal by rejecting reality? Assess life soberly and do not envy millionaires, movie stars and top models. You are not worse than them - you are just different. And there is nothing wrong with that. Try to reach your norm, because the norm is an ideal.
- Ask for forgiveness from everyone who you have offended, even mentally, but it is better to do it personally. For example, through social networks or e-mail. New Year gives an excellent opportunity to do this as correctly and unobtrusively, starting with congratulations. Do not be afraid that they think badly about you, rather act will cause respect. If you are a believer, confess to the priest, Lent is the most suitable time.
- Take revenge on the offenders with a plus sign. The best revenge: to look good, to be healthy and successful.
- Accustom yourself to be more benevolent in your thoughts. You will begin to draw joyful events.
- Release the role of the victim, skin this frog skin and burn it. Begin to explain to people why you do not want something without making excuses. The spouse invites all friends and co-workers to the New Year's Eve dinner, and you want a quiet family holiday? "Dear, sorry, but it's too hard for me to entertain so many guests." Say no to politely, but firmly. You will be amazed, but nothing terrible will happen! Adequate people do not take offense, hearing a motivated refusal. And those who show discontent or begin to whine, trying to "push" you, they do not care about your interests.
- Do not answer evil for evil - this will make you a copy of the offender.
- Make a conscious choice and become better: write down the seven qualities of people admiring you. Put a list near the bed. Every morning, waking up, focus on one of the qualities and strive to embody during the day. Within a month these features will strengthen, and then become part of your character.
- Remember: offenses should be recorded on sand, and joys - carve on granite.
- Thank fate for every day you lived. Really not for what? If you have arms and legs, a piece of bread and a roof over your head, you are happier and richer than 80% of the world's population. Every evening remember what happened to you. Gratitude helps to concentrate on everything good and valuable.
- Help someone who is worse than you. Bring a Christmas tree and a treat to the hospice or orphanage, feed a beggar or at least a homeless animal. Give the unnecessary things to the poor. Good deeds most effectively heal the soul.
- At the moment of an emotional outburst, hold your breath a little while exhaling. Excess carbon dioxide concentrates the work of the brain on the respiratory center, and the outburst of anger goes out.
- If the insult was remembered, pinch yourself. If you are alone, scream at the top of your voice. Say: "I am stronger!" This will destroy the concentration on the negative and gradually form the thinking of the winner.
- Replace the negative with a positive. Once a week, join the beautiful: meet the dawn in nature, attend art exhibitions, musical concerts, do what delivers aesthetic pleasure.
"All will pass, and this will pass" - was carved on the ring of King Solomon, considered the wisest man of his time. Your grievance is in fact too small to fill a lifetime or at least one more year. Of course, if you do not cherish it and cherish it ...