Sometimes to find out whether it is worth renewing a relationship, if feelings persisted, it is enough to ask yourself the counter question: can you not resume them if there is an opportunity?
Loving for real
What can I do to prevent true love from becoming past? Learn to listen. Try to get into the position of a partner. Imagine that you are in business negotiations: listen to your opponent, agree with him, and only then try to convey his truth to him. Learn to express feelings. Say that you are hurt, if you feel pain, say that you are furious, if so. And, of course, talk about love. Learn to love. In relationships, people often manipulate each other. This is the way to nowhere: instead of giving the partner an opportunity to go with you through life, you pull him with you by force. Love yourself, love a partner and do not demand from him reciprocal feelings. Learn to give freedom. It is very important not to overdo with your emotions. Understand: the surplus of love is strangled even by the most sincere feelings.
To be or not to be?
Good news for those who do not know whether it is worth trying again to start a relationship: according to most psychologists, if you really want, then you can still take a chance. Past partners can attract you if you really love or if something in your relationship has not been solved, not told. Look inside yourself and try to answer the question - what are you driving? If people broke up, but did not say something to each other, did not realize all that they could reveal in themselves, then the desire to return will remain. My opinion - if you can not delete a person from memory, it makes sense to try again. Only not anew, but in a new way. Maybe, to see otherwise the relationship or the person himself. You need to understand whether the flaws over which you broke up, your feelings outweigh, whether you are ready to accept your partner as he is. If you are passionate, you must take a loved one with all his "flaws." And take responsibility for the choice: "I do it for myself, not for him, marriage, etc.". If feelings on both sides are preserved, parting should be considered as a time-out for the analysis of the situation. When two people voluntarily decide to live separately, and then realize that they can not do without each other, it means that there is a new round of more mature relations ahead. They are trying to understand who and what was wrong. To go to reconciliation without drawing conclusions is impossible. So we become more mature and wiser. If the feelings are preserved - the relationship is not complete. This leads, on the one hand, to a loss of energy through thinking about a partner, and on the other, increases the likelihood of recurrence of such problems in future relationships. Therefore, it is necessary or correct to complete these relations, that is, to thank the partner for all the good things that happened between you and say goodbye or resume them by negotiating problems that have not been resolved in the past.
Do not repeat mistakes
So, the goal is clear: self-respect and harmony with yourself and the world around you. But how to achieve this? Each of the specialists has its own methods and methods, which they share with you. If you still broke up, follow a few recommendations. Clean the photo with the object of your love. Do not allow yourself to discuss these relationships. Go to language classes, go in for dancing, yoga, be busy. Embark on a journey. The main thing is to enter the "new-old" ties not for the purpose of revenge, but with the intention of understanding something in oneself and in another person. When you set the goal of realizing what you were given this person for, and you for him, then you both have the opportunity to "grow up." And then it becomes clear whether you need each other. And, of course, do not part with your loved ones. If you love and are loved in fact. The desire to restore relationships that once hurt, may be associated with a secondary benefit from the suffering experienced. For example, people want to maintain their image: I'm so kind that I forgave him ... Behind this, there may also be some fear. For example, you are afraid of failure in a career and justify your inaction by the need to take care of your husband and children. If you broke up for a while and then decided to return, I strongly recommend that the partner be accepted as he is. All these lovely bad habits of your second half are just beacons that connect you with the object of your love. If you learn not to notice the little things, your union will be long-term and reliable. Renewing the relationship, you need to discuss with your partner:
- what is my (and only mine!) Contribution to the creation of our problems;
- what I promise to do and not do in this regard in the future;
- What kind of support will I need from a partner?
- that I feel (it is also necessary to tell my partner about my feelings);
- Draw an image of a joint future, inspiring both (to ensure that the contradictions do not interfere with the creation of this image);
- to say what I am willing to pay for the realization of this image. And do not ask for anything from a partner in return!