The nature of lies
As a child, a person has the ability to avoid unpleasant situations and emotions. And when the kid knows that he will be punished, he will hold back or deny everything he has done, that is, use lies in his relationships with his parents. A false form of behavior we use to avoid unpleasant consequences. But if this becomes a habitual form of behavior, it threatens to degenerate into a person's quality.
Psychologists believe that some personality traits push to insincere communication. I think, in your life there were people who believe that all means are good for achieving the goal. Of course, they will easily manipulate friends, loved ones, deceive them only in order to achieve their own.
Or a friend tells you for hours about her new boyfriend, shows her jewelry with diamonds, which you can buy in the transition. She looks happy, but you are annoyed that she embellishes reality. The desire to appear better than we are in fact is inherent in us from childhood. It does not disappear anywhere in adult life, only this moment: a fictional world should not replace reality.
In general, the nature of lies is such that it helps a person to at times adapt to the environment. The main thing is not to forget about one good word - "measure".
Recognize the false notes
When faced with lies in life, we are often lost, not knowing how to react to it. Whether to show that you do not believe, but suddenly it's true, whether to say yes to the deceiver, then he can fool to the point. What are the symptoms of a lie? If you are observant, you can recognize where the truth is, and where the stories are.
• If your interlocutor constantly interrupts you, translates the conversation to the topic you need, sorts it out by bit, then do not believe every word said.
• Ask clarifying questions during the conversation. If you are lying, spontaneous answers may contradict the told story.
• Your acquaintance in every way expresses disregard in his story, for example, to colleagues, in such situations it is clear that a person tries in every possible way to embellish their abilities by humiliating others.
• Does the interlocutor start to praise his exploits immediately after you told him about your achievements? Probably, he is guided by envy, he does not want to look worse than you.
• There are also physiological signs of lies. For example, involuntarily in the speaker's untruth in the conversation appears monotony, gradualness and stretch. Before answering the simplest question, he makes a small, but in no way explainable pause.
• Sometimes people, knowing that they are lying, begin to lower their voice, some on the contrary, increase, so that speech looks more convincing.
• Many become too talkative, start to bring a lot of unnecessary arguments, about which no one asked them. In this way they try to convince themselves of their own self-righteousness.
Recognizing lies is not so easy, because there are good craftsmen to disguise it. Lying for them is like air. They simply can not live without it. Pay attention to a lot of small details: facial expressions, gestures, timbre and voice intonation. Everything in the complex will help you to come to the right result.
What to do?
Is it worth it to immediately expose the deceiver to clean water? Probably, all the same no. Try to first find the reason that prompted a person to do this. If you like a young man, and you feel that he is not sincere with you, do not start building a wall or chop off the ends. Maybe this behavior for him is a way of self-defense or a desire to make a good impression on you. Someone has the opportunity to "leave" reality and plunge into the world without problems. You will say - this is not an option. Of course, this is true, but at the moment, apparently, a man can not or can not do otherwise, because if he could, he would act differently, would not he.
Lying always indicates a problem. When your interlocutor says untruth, you should ask yourself why he needs it, what goals he pursues, especially in such a joyous, easy and uncomplicated type of communication as flirting? If a new acquaintance or friend lies at the first steps of communication, in small things, then think about what to expect in the future.
Here are some recommendations for how to deal with these situations:
• Agree with your interlocutor, do not contradict him. Without encountering resistance in its path, the dreamer is likely to quickly die out;
• no matter how much you are not touched and irritated by the words of the narrator, do not give in to provocation. Remember that it always wins the one who has more patience and patience;
• If you still want to prove your own, then consult an authoritative source. After all, no one wants to reveal the obvious, and only a proven argument can put a liar in his place.
Temptation...
Another no less important point: how can one refrain from the desire to say untruth, embellish reality. Do not justify yourself, that your lies to someone for good. Everyone is given the right to choose, we confine this freedom to lies. Undoubtedly, there are situations when we are frightened by ignorance of the further reaction of a person. Here you will find out that your friend's husband has a mistress, but she herself does not know about it and is quite happy in marriage. Should she tell the truth? To this question, you understand that no professional psychologist will give you an unambiguous answer. One of the options is to lie. But if you are late for a date for a loved one for the reason that you were meeting for a long time, do not shout to him that you are standing in a traffic jam, so that they do not think about you: "Here's the hood." Do you see the difference? So, so that lies do not become a habit, think about this:
• Try to understand what you are running in the situation. Want to make a good impression? But there are many other ways to do this. Connect a sense of humor, imagery and you will succeed without falseness.
• The apparent benefit of lying in some cases is brief and does not pay off the damage from the lost trust. Think about whether you will not be ashamed if the truth is revealed. You will lose not only trust, but respect.
• The passion for writing fables is associated with a lack of vivid impressions in life. To the dreamer, we evoke certain emotions. Do what you are interested in, find things that would bring you pleasure.
• Do not turn the conversation into a monologue, let's speak to the partner.
• Lies make us hostages of untruth. Those who are not afraid to express their position and opinion, even knowing that they will not be accepted by everyone, will never get the status of a liar.
To be honest, it's almost impossible to divide the truth and lies, outlining the difference between them. After all, even a little embellished reality is deceived. This is a lie - can you live without it, without lies for good - everyone decides for himself. But we will not delve into the issues of philosophy with you or engage in moralizing. Just do not forget about the main principle of harmony - do no harm.