Some ladies, on the other hand, manage to survive passion and feelings only with a man who has a family. Let's try to understand why this is happening, and how to be a woman, if a married man offers her a relationship.
Is it lame or common sense?
No wonder so many women are not tempted to become a mistress married. This has its own sacred meaning. Women in general intuitively well feel the prospects of relations with this or that man. So most of them have no illusions about the male psychology in relation to the mistress. As studies in the field of psychology show, love triangles, in which there is a husband, wife and mistress, are unstable, full of dramas and psychologically traumatic for all three.
It is believed that the most reliable way to end the triple alliance is to make a decision by the person who is in it in the singular. In a situation where one man meets two women, only he himself is able to break the love triangle in the best way. To do this, he must choose whom to stay with. Such situations in real life are rare. In fact, the love triangle collapses due to the fact that one of the women does not stand up and leaves. Or, that happens less often, both suffer disloyalty of the beloved, but none is ready to leave. In this case, the relationship for three can drag on. And the longer they continue, the more psychological traumas are received by both women and the man himself.
That's why sensible women try not to get involved with married men. It is not known whether it will be possible to win their love, but it is possible to gain problems with almost one hundred percent probability.
Why married men have mistresses
Sexologists and psychologists believe that they have mistresses, mostly problematic men. Of course, there are exceptions, when a normal man without special complexes and mental problems, gets a mistress. However, male psychology is such that, as a rule, if a man has a stable, healthy, warm, sensual relationship with his wife, he will not waste time on mistresses. Once the relationship appears in the relationship, he begins to think about treason. Men are less than women, ready to work on relationships. And if they have a misunderstanding with their wife, they can try to find a more understanding person. They can shlestnutsya with old friends and start to pour their problems with wine or try to get away from them in a hobby like fishing or constant digging in the garage. But they can go to more radical methods - to get a mistress. Often, the men do not plan to leave the family. They are comfortable: at home - arranged life, well-groomed children and some routine, boredom, balanced by stability. And the mistress can pokorolesit, take your heart, shake the old days. So it turns out that they have no special intentions regarding their mistress. There is only a desire to obtain from life what is missing in the family.
Why do women meet married men?
As we have already noted, not every woman will go to twist an affair with a married woman. Usually, desperate, exhausted lonely ladies with low self-esteem come to this. Sometimes they are women who, due to circumstances, are afraid of close relationships with people. The presence of a family in the chosen one protects her from too close a relationship with a man. She feels relatively superficial feelings towards him, and justifies it with external circumstances, and not with her inability to love. Often, a woman pushes a connection with a married man an unsuccessful experience of personal relationships or the idea received from the parents that all men are unworthy of her.
Male psychology in relation to the mistress, which includes superficial relations without obligations, it can quite suit. For the declared respect for the freedom of choice of such a man, fear and insecurity of one's own attractiveness may be hidden.
I must say that, stepping on the path of the novel with the married, the woman only exacerbates her problems. The constant sense of immorality of communication, duplicity of one's own nature is detrimental to a woman's self-esteem. There is a vicious circle: the longer she meets a married, the lower the self-esteem. And the lower the self-esteem, the less chance for a successful relationship with a free man, willing to give her a stable and lasting relationship.
All this is aggravated by the reaction of the external environment. It rarely happens that no one condemns a married man's mistress. In fact, she often happens to be a person of "non grata" in the circle of friends and relatives of her chosen one. And if the affair has got stuck at work, the mistress can become also an object of ridicule for colleagues that obviously does not promote successful construction of career.
What to do if you get a feeling for a married
Despite the dramatic nature of the relationship with a married man, one should not renounce love for him. Love is not a feeling that we can control. Often it arises in our soul against our will, it's not for nothing that proverbs and jokes are so popular about "love of evil ..."
If you find that you are overwhelmed by a feeling for a married person, first of all you should study the situation. The fact is that now people have become somehow easier to treat issues of registration and divorce. If his marriage exists only on paper, you can safely forget all of the above and plunge headlong into the novel. Just be vigilant: do not trust blindly the words of the man himself, check information about the "formalities" of his marriage through mutual friends, relatives and acquaintances.
If his marriage was strong and not at all "breathing heavily," as he claims, try to do everything to avoid this relationship. Take the timeout in communication, if you work together, try not to meet at work. Take a vacation and spend a month away from it. Be creative in avoiding such a novel, and then you will have a chance to build a truly warm and trusting relationship with some other, more decent and reliable man.