To be always the fastest, the most intelligent, the strongest - seemingly logical and reasonable desire. Earn numerous cups and diplomas - at first sight a commendable and good deed. That's just the whole point is that each and every medal has a reverse side. What can be your desire to be number 1 on any pedestal and where does this desire come from? Native leadership is the second happiness or trouble of all life? Read - it's all about you.
Round 1: Friendly match.
You are accustomed to do everything together - to ride the greats and swim in the pool, to cram the story and take off on vacation, gnaw apples on the bench and light up in the heart of the dance floor. With the best friend you and the account in a coffee house, and a suitcase on a trip to the sea divide for two. True, with the reservation: for two - does not mean fifty-fifty. You are ready to lend her new movies, hair clips and nail polish. But the leader does not intend to give the jersey. Outwardly this rivalry is imperceptible: you always rush to each other on the neck with shouts of "Wow!". But, having opened your arms, you look at it and mentally note: "I lost weight, I got sunburnt, I cut my hair ... Shoes like Carrie in the third season". Annoyance, easy envy, dissatisfaction with yourself always cover your head when the photo on the board of honor is higher than yours. And you will do everything to get the title of the best overall result of all the competitions for you. With the most innocent face, drag a friend to break burgers with cola, persuading to score on a vegetable diet. You will not notice the stain on her T-shirt, helping to get ready for a date. Approvingly nod in the fitting room, not being silent, that in this jacket it resembles a robot policeman. And then accidentally complain to her new boyfriend: in a dream she snores like a fairy-tale giant.
Round 2: Fight Club.
In those distant years, when you had not thought about why the boys and girls are so different, putting the guys in their place was a favorite game. You climbed the tree faster than anyone, ran from the well to the old oak tree and flew on a bicycle through the ditch, giggling laughingly at those who held the two hands behind the wheel. Being a girl in this case was even honorable - you could play dolls and cry, scratching your knee, but instead showed courage and strength of mind. The opposite sex admired and took you with him to carry apples from the neighboring garden. Now you are grown up - they threw to climb through fences and apologized to Uncle Kolya for the lost crop. The boys changed great for the first cars, switched from the "warrior" to Counter-Strike and stopped yanking the girls for braids. Yes, and you forgot that once was a tomboy, but the favorite way to win the attention of the guys kept in the arsenal. If necessary, you do a back-flip on a skateboard and, sitting behind the wheel, famously perform a police turn. You catch rapturous looks and wait, when one of them will be thrown by the object of your feelings.
Round 3: The class struggle.
The place on the first desk you win with such bitterness, as if instead of a physics lesson, Justin Timberlake's first and last concert in your city is about to begin. Thanks to the craving for knowledge, you could save on fitness: raise your hand - three approaches with dumbbells, run out to the board - two circles with a sporting step. Honored grades are crowded in the magazine, and parents require your diary only during family celebrations - to boast of the success of a clever daughter. In the class you are one such champion. All the others are slightly underdrawn: even if someone is near you at the finish line, you gently throw the opponent back on the circle, on the control deftly covering up your scientific discoveries with a piece of paper. To share with someone an honorable place of the best you do not intend. You're ready to go to anything, if only the only five in the class went to you.
Results of the battle.
Proudly lifting your nose at your unconditional first step of the pedestal, you are not in a hurry to sum up the results of the endless struggle. Meanwhile, according to the results of each round - in addition to the record of conquests - you can also make a list of losses. The second sometimes at times exceed the first. With my girlfriend, it's not fun at all. A trifle for a trifle, a detail for a detail - gradually a fence grows between you. Beautiful, even, absolutely deaf. It remains only to paint it in your favorite yellow - the color of the leader's jersey. And forget that after him there was once a person close to you.
With the boy dreams, everything is not so sad, but also not very happy. Yes, one day, he really will pay attention to you and offer to ride with a breeze on the night avenue. You will discuss with him all the advantages of a manual gearbox and help you choose alloy wheels. Already at dawn he will take you to the entrance and say goodbye ... shaking hands. All your hints of a kiss he will ignore. You can become friends - no more. Because there are too many things that you understand better than him. Your culinary talents and knowledge of European literature would not embarrass him. But computers, cars and extreme sports are the territory of the guys on which they must be champions. Having shown yourself the best, you automatically demonstrated that he is worse. If you feel like a loser next to you, the first thing he does is to increase the distance. Consciously or not - is it all the same? With classmates, everything will not be sugar at all. Yes, you have a great certificate, but do not expect that the final album will be filled with sincere wishes from neighbors on the desk. The glitter of the gold medal blinded you so much that you forgot what you are actually taught in school. In addition to the formulas, theorems and rules of grammar, there is something else-from the 1st to the 11th you are not in vain forced to work in a team. Alone, do not arrange KVN, do not put "Mumu" on the stage of the assembly hall, do not shake the history cabinet to shine. Compete with everything and everything, you lose the once-numerous support group. And one, as you know, is not a warrior in the field.
Fighting spirit.
In psychology there is such a thing - overcompensation. It means something like this: when you feel lagging, unsuccessful in one of the spheres, you try to be realized, jump over everyone into another. In other words, behind your desperate, exaggerated struggle for every palm of primacy that meets on the way, stand - voila! - just notorious complexes. Think about it - what does it really make you to set records, to be faster, higher, stronger? Maybe you just think yourself not at all beautiful, so you consoled: "But I'm smart," collecting only five in my diary in my diary? Probably, your victories in the skate field are fueled by criticism of friends-boys and your desire to prove to the guys that you are better than they think about you? Quite possibly, your obsession to jump around the girlfriend comes from a banal desire to assert itself against its background, to drown out self-doubt, to show yourself that you can surpass it in everything? The effect is much more pleasant, if the complexes are to fight with direct, not bypassing ways. How exactly this is done, you just learned from the previous series.
The circle of honor.
And after all, running to race helps you not to stand still. A competitive approach sets the right direction - forward and upward. Perfectionism teaches you to make every effort to match or even jump higher than ideals. And the desire to compete mobilizes and spurs to fight for the main prize, whether it is the love of teachers, the respect of friends or the title of Miss Universe. And everything will be more than perfect - under one condition: if you learn not to look around. In your opinion, in the race for perfection, the joy from the first place becomes incomplete if someone does not take a step with the numbers 2 and 3, right? I'm sure that everything is known only in comparison? And here not.
Acting under the motto "to catch up and outrun at all costs!", It is easy to get off your own path and get someone else's reward, which in fact will not be so necessary.
Well, agree, if frankness, you do not go at all the thick arrows that you so carefully drew to eclipse the gorgeous eyes of a friend. Admit it, if it were not for the desire to outdo the boys, you would gladly get off the skate, exchanging it for the path in the pool. And the works of Mendeleev-Klaperson Pascal and Hooke would move away from the pillow, putting in their place Wilde, Maupassant and Exupery. So what's stopping you? Only you. Life - not a run for one at all a long distance. Fate does not play the common and only set of medals. Everyone has his own start, his route, his intermediate stages and his cups on the finish line. They are your real goal. It's time to make a stop, reset the stopwatch and navigate the terrain. Think about whether you run there and for the sake of whether you are in a hurry, and whether your real goal has lost sight of it. If you honestly answer these questions - you will no longer fight your head against other people's barriers. Exhale. And again boldly move in a way - for your own cups and awards, which were already waiting at the finish.