Let's be frank. In relationships with parents, the child receives a lot of instructive lessons, but often they are not situational, and are only realized after years. Parents give everything - but children begin to use it closer to the 30-year boundary, when, as was said in the well-known anecdote, "it was necessary to listen to my mother."
At the same time, despite the fact that patterns of behavior, norms and values mostly come from the family, are perceived from close significant people, the teenage environment also contributes to upbringing. Often teenagers and even younger schoolchildren are better educators than their parents for their schoolmates, because they are more cruel and more cruel, they beat more painfully.
- They are not obliged to
None of the parents will not so cruelly reject the requests and demands of their child, as friends. Therefore, in school days we receive the most painful, but the most useful lessons of life. They will come in handy more than once.
For the first time the child is faced with the fact that someone does not owe him, even in the kindergarten. But this age can be considered the age of unconsciousness. And full communication with those who are not obliged to listen, understand, whose position needs to be achieved - begins only in school.
School companions in this plan are in fact the best educators for the child, than the parents, because they are ruthless and do not feel obligated. Friendship and attention, care and hate - all this sweeps in a whirlwind of emotions and as if in some kind of kaleidoscope of very different situations.
- They are equal
Communication on an equal footing, and not with those who are older and more important - that's what is valuable in school age. Parents are children anyway, but "must". Must do the lessons, take out the garbage, help with the housework, visit the mugs and be good-hearted. With whom to play other roles, feel yourself on a par with?
Sisters and brothers are rarely ponies or twins, so it turns out that with all the children in different conditions. You are older - give in. You're younger - obey. And with whom is it safe to pokomandovat and get a legitimate rebuff? Of course, with better teachers than parents, with their school friends - it's safe for them to get a refusal or to hear how they ruthlessly tell the truth in the eyes. Maybe after this truth, even make a fight or pokonkurirovat. And this is related to the third teaching function of school friends - socialization.
- They help socialize
How to find out your place in the world, if some look at you from above (parents and teachers), and others - from below (younger brothers and sisters)? How to understand what you are worth, what is worthy? Brave or cowardly, talkative or serious silent? How to compete for limited resources - beautiful boys, ready to wear a briefcase, or girls who look at all the guys in the parallel?
All this is facilitated by the school environment and relations with others - the same schoolchildren. Ah, these girlish fights in the backyard of the school - with what tenderness and malicious smile they recollect after years! And yet, the ability to defend one's interests, compete and win (or learn to lose), even in a girl's environment, learn to cooperate - all this can be shown only in school.
A drop of tar in a barrel of honey
Of course, many have already understood why schoolmates are the best educators, and yet they are ruthless in comparison with parents, they do not know mercy. Therefore, it is very important not only to release your child in time - to give him the opportunity to understand others and to know himself, his needs and boundaries. It is equally important to monitor that this upbringing by the school does not grow into something more. If such "training" resulted in persecution, war; if a child is afraid of going to school, if he is bullied - then he is dealing with a more serious "enemy" than expected. And at this point (or better - at least a little earlier), there should be a mother and father next. To defend the interests of the child, to track the boundaries of what is permitted is not so simple as it seems.
Send a son or daughter to school and expect that "for him (her) they answer", at least, it's silly. Teachers do not go from the kindness of the soul and the desire to make the world a better place. The school is full of aggressive, embittered and resentful people. And at the same time - and their children. It's from them that it's worth defending their child to their parents.