Talking about sex with children for any parent is the most difficult step. But it is extremely important for the child, as the only opportunity to obtain adequate and honest information about human relations, love and the sacrament of procreation from the most "authoritative" people for him. About how to talk with children and adolescents about sex, puberty and will be discussed below.
Each parent remembers the moment when the baby first asked: "Mom, Dad, how did I come about?" This question can not be avoided. It's useless to brush off - the child will not stop asking. It is best to think about the time to start talking about birds and bees, or rather about puberty. Sooner or later the child will grow, start a sexual life, and you should be the first one to know about it. If you do not tell the child about sex - it will do for you. He will learn about it from films, from friends, in practice. Do you want that? Of course not. Therefore, it will be much better if the child receives his first lesson on the topic of sex from his parents. This will allow him to make sure that he made the right or wrong decision in accordance with the moral values and principles that you would like to implement.
Talking to children and adolescents about sex is sometimes a difficult task. Most parents do not know how to start such a conversation. Most of all, they doubt whether their child is old enough to understand the nature of this topic. In fact, discussions about sex and puberty can begin at an early age of the child. For about 3 years children have known about the physical differences between boys and girls. Overcome your shyness and explain to the child that in addition to the hands and feet, people also have other organs. Mention what boys are different from girls. Do not use subtle concepts that will only confuse the child and make you think then that something is amiss. You can explain to your child, however, that certain feelings are deeply intimate and do not manifest when people are in sight.
About 7-8 years, children often tell a fairy tale about a stork. This is not a harmless joke. This is nonsense, which parents resort to, afraid to take responsibility for a serious conversation with the child. But this can hurt a child bitterly in the near future. At this age, children are already able to understand a lot. Use their questions to start a conversation about sex and puberty taking into account the age of the child. If they are curious why some women have big stomachs, you can easily explain that they have a small child in their belly, which is born after 9 months. Try to talk with your child about how the baby gets into the mother's abdomen, without going into intimate details. You can say, for example, that every aunt in the abdomen has a magic seed. And a child can grow out of it, but only if mom and dad really want it. Let the child necessarily know that for the birth of a child, you need a mom and a dad. About the rest you will tell later.
When you talk to children and teenagers about sex, you should be calm and confident, do not blush, do not panic. Otherwise, the child will perceive this as something terrible or unpleasant. It is important to have an adequate opportunity to get in the right time to touch on the topic of sex. When your child is already in adolescence, you can begin to speak more directly and be in shape during a discussion about the relationship between a man and a woman.
Nevertheless, when discussing the topic of sex with children, it is necessary to be direct, and not play in shouts. Children understand a lot of things very literally and if you only talk about birds and bees, they will only refer to them, not to people. When trying to talk with children and adolescents, sex, puberty should not be given out as something shameful, different from everything else. When you talk about sex, explain to your child that this is not only a way to make children, but also a way to express one's love for one another. When a child is familiar with the emotional aspect of sex, in the future it will be easier for him to make the right and reasonable decision related to sexual behavior.
In the conversation about sex, explain to the child that a man and a woman must learn to understand each other first, to feel each other, and only then to proceed to the next stage in the relationship - to sex. An important part of talking about sex is precisely the explanation of the nature of intimacy.
It is best to conduct actual conversations about sex before your child begins to have sex. This can cause him to wait to become sexually active in a later stage of life, when he is already ripe enough. According to the study, children who did not hesitate to talk calmly with their parents about sex were exposed to a much lesser risk of unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and adolescent marriage. Talking about sex should contain information about the dangers and consequences of sex, and what are the ways of preventing diseases and pregnancy.
Talk with the child about sex from an early age, then he will get used to the joint discussion with you of intimate problems, will trust you more. You, as parents should be aware of the life of your child, and you will always know what is happening to him, what worries him, what pleases him. And he will be calm and will know that there is always someone who can be asked about the things that interest him. Over time, the child will learn without too much embarrassment to talk about this topic.
If you, as parents, talk about sex with your child does not give rest, it is appropriate ask a psychologist, a doctor, a friend or just read some literature on this topic. Some parents are embarrassed to talk to the child about sex, if he is the opposite sex. So it is more difficult for mothers to discuss these issues with her son, and fathers with her daughter. In these cases it is important to step over your embarrassment and confusion and try not to turn sex into taboos. This will be the biggest mistake, which can later cost a lot for the child and yourself.