Adolescence is the time of experimentation and self-exploration. The period when the grown up children commit their most daring and rash acts.
In the adolescent, important mental and physical changes occur that affect his worldview, life priorities and preferences. Inside the teenager begins a conflict between his desires and opportunities. A teenager, as a rule, often feels uncomfortable, constantly feeling pressure from the school, peers and parents. The latter are often accused of misunderstanding or even a lack of desire to understand and help. Some parents, forgetting that they were once teenagers themselves, forget that during this period their sexual development proceeds, and therefore, the teenager must be cleverly explained about the consequences and possible threats of early onset of sexual activity.
As a result of the rapid process of acceleration, the age at which adolescents enter sexual relations with each generation is getting smaller and smaller. This is promoted by active propaganda in the media, as well as improper education in the family. An incorrect approach to discussing this topic with a teenager can be particularly bad for the child's future.
Rules that need to be observed with the adolescent beginning of sexual activity
- Speak with a spouse directly and frankly. Do not tell him the far-fetched "facts" that your opinion will help to protect him from the vicissitudes of sexual life. A teenage girl feels when something is not agreed with him and if he finds out that he has given false information to him, it will only ruin the relationship and you will already be much it is more difficult to exert influence.
- In the explanation, avoid excessive use of the terminology, so that the child fully understands what is at stake, and what meaning do you want to convey to him in your own words.
- Do not frighten a teenager. He is already experiencing a difficult period of becoming a personality, he is worried about the out of place of his dreams, and that other people will think about him. It is not necessary to open this topic with demagogic arguments about the danger of contracting a gynecological disease, the consequences of an early pregnancy, abortion, etc., otherwise it will close and stop talking with you on this topic. Start with the fact that sex is part of human relationships. But it must be recalled that the formation of the reproductive system ends only at the age of 18, so he himself must draw a conclusion whether he should hurry with "growing up".
- If you want a teenager to get a full consultation on the conception and pregnancy of a child during pregnancy, bring a teenager to see a gynecologist. He will disclose to him the biological side of this issue, talk about safe methods of contraception. So the child will understand the essence of the history of this issue and become more responsible to yourself.
- In the pubertal period the child becomes very contradictory, since he does not know what he wants on the subject. One desire is replaced by another. It is difficult for him to immediately determine what he really needs in this period of time and most importantly, what is right. Your job is to explain it to him. At the time, as many teenagers need advice on this issue, they need to come up and ask about everything that interests them. We need to make it clear to the adolescent that there is nothing shameful in discussing this topic and that he has the right to inquire about it.
In order to find out whether the teenager has the correct formulations of contraceptive means and about his own body structure, ask him several important questions. If some ideas about this turn out to be distorted, which often happens, tell us how things stand in reality. The more durable information the teenager gets, the less stupidity he will make in the future.
If the "worst thing" has already happened
The adolescent's non-emotional state, or his personality, usually does not suffer if he voluntarily steps into the sex life and uses contraceptives correctly. Conducting a sexual life with another peer by mutual agreement does not have a negative effect on the psyche of both adolescents.
But in the case of an unplanned pregnancy or an infection with a venereal disease, the situation changes radically. To a teenager who has encountered a similar problem, a special campaign is needed.
Explain that this could happen to anyone. A girl who finds herself in such a situation needs psychosocial support. She is already in a difficult situation and your pressure will only exacerbate the situation.
- Do not condemn and take no notice. Remember that you are a parent and that you, in the first place, should help your child.
- Do not ask for an abortion of an immediate abortion. It must itself weigh the pros and cons and make a decision. Calmly explain the possible consequences of the abortion.
- In some cases, it is necessary to involve a psychologist who would at least partially relieve the patient of anxiety.
Attraction of a psychologist
In adolescent age, a child may find himself in a complex mental state, so his behavior changes for the worse. Parents do not always succeed in explaining the reasons for such actions, especially when the teenager suddenly closes in himself and ceases to make contact. Elders may have suspicions of someone committing violent acts towards their child. Sometimes the only sure way out of this situation may be an appeal to a psychologist.
The consequence of violent actions can manifest itself in the loss of interest in sex or vice versa the emergence of excessive interest in the given sphere. A child who has been subjected to violence loses interest in life, school, communication with peers. He may experience insomnia and loss of appetite. In this case, a consultation with a psychologist will help to identify the cause of such behavior.
Remember that you, as a parent, should help him how to go painlessly through this period. To understand the questions about the beginning of sexual activity, adolescents often need an adult's advice, although they are afraid to admit it.