Many difficulties arise in the education of sons. Therefore, wise and intelligent parents, wishing only good for children, realizing that such direct pressure can only lose children, often establish democracy. They try to agree. They explain to the children that parents are older, they know more, they have a lot of life experience. Therefore, they for children will make the right plan for their future life. Identify you in a special school, and then in the right institution, choose a normal suitable profession. And the children under our unobtrusive leadership will vote "for" and rush into the bright future.
All this, of course, is cunningly invented. But in our time, even with cautious parents, children, especially boys, are stubbornly trying to choose not their father or mother, but their own way. They are sure that parents in their world do not understand anything. And then a conflict is inevitable between them. Boys are both rude and stubborn when they defend their freedom. What, then, should be done?
Our children need to sympathize and understand that these difficulties arise because of physiology. The hormone testosterone has a powerful effect on the behavior of boys. And its impact forces the boys at any price to strive for victory, makes them aggressive. There are general tendencies in the development of our sons: attempts to take on themselves the solution of serious life problems, the desire to take risks, the tendency to dominate, but all boys develop in their own way.
There is no single approach to different boys with different characters. But, as psychologists say, an important moment is considered competent and timely transition from the mother's custody of the child to the father's authority. And often you do not want to let go of the almost mustached "baby" from under your wing. But if the son is much closer to his mother in adolescence, it can greatly affect his fate and life.
After birth from the mother, the boy gets everything - love, food, security. At this time, the father seems to be in the background. But there is an opinion of psychologists that if a father is the first years of a child's life actively communicating with his son, then it makes a huge positive contribution to his future.
Psychological features of the nature of the child by the age of 5 and 8 push his son to an even greater communication with his father. Thus, the male development program for the son is realized.
By the age of 10, the son in general can already call into question the authority of the mother. At this age, the boy begins to "be obstinate." In any trivial matter, connected with the mother's requests, the son takes time, slowly dresses, and fatherly requests without reproving and quickly fulfills. It is necessary to understand and tactfully demand from the child what is necessary, but in no case to pinch. Very often because of this, between the son and the mother, skirmishes begin. And here you do not need to remember about psychology - we just, women, are jealous. And this behavior of the son is a sign that the father is the time to take the main position in relations with him. And divorce does not absolve the father of responsibility. In the life of the son, the father's participation is simply necessary, as a prerequisite for psychological and physical health and his inner strength as a future man. It is necessary to insist that the father take great part in the upbringing of his son. Or, in extreme cases, you can connect your grandfather here.
A boy at the age of 10-13 is very sensitive to the opinion of his father. Even if their relationship seems bad (for example, because of a divorce), but somewhere deep in his heart he is waiting for his father's approval. The praise of the father gives his son a sense of his own worth and contributes to the fact that the boy is forming a normal self-esteem. According to psychologists, at the age of 10-13 years, any criticism, especially from the father, if he does not live in the family, any bad statements of the mother in his father's address hurt the child to the core.
Parents should notice in time that the son is ready to leave the mother's world and enter into the world of his father, and if they contribute to this, they will facilitate the life of the child and himself. Then you can less often encounter aggressive behavior, changeable mood, rudeness. Although, to a certain extent, this will still have to be faced, and all this must be experienced.
Sometimes the boy does not want to get out of the mother's influence. Everything goes smoothly, the situation seems to be favorable. But, as it is established, things are much worse. There are many 40-year-old men who are strongly influenced by mothers. Such a man can not tear himself away from his mother, can not fulfill his masculine predestination, can not create his family, and lives under his mother's wing all his life. Women, think about the fate of your son, do not be selfish.
Now we know what difficulties can arise when raising sons. Maybe it's worth remembering yourself more often when you were a teenager, when you could feel the support of close people, when you felt yourself heard, and those wonderful moments when you were understood.