And after a while it becomes completely different, almost uncontrollable, now and then starts scandals, and constantly yells at you. Blamed for everything: too hot soup, can not find socks, and even that he has troubles at work too, you. As a result, you can not stand it and react to provocation, violently scandal, during which he drags you into bed. And what is most surprising, after the scandal, he shows extraordinary ingenuity and indefatigability in sex, although usually he is not so in bed. How can I explain this?
Most psychologists call people for whom a quarrel is a reason for sex - anger. For girls who have connected their lives with such, there are two news, however trite it sounds, but good and bad.
Let's start with the bad. Gnevoliki are somewhat similar to fetishists. Only the latter are excited from underwear, toys and other things, and an angry type of men - from scandals. And if they at any time find that quarrels stimulate them better than any preludes, then soon the place of preludes will be occupied by quarrels. Your problem is that after a while you will stop experiencing sexual desire, because what gets your man - does not wind you. And you just do not have the strength to refuse. You can, of course, turn to a specialist who, through the suggestion of a "correct" scenario of sexual life, will try to help. But even long conversations in the office often end with a return to the past script of sex.
The good news is a man's awareness of the problem and the desire to fix it. Such anger can be treated. And most importantly, not all your scandals end in sex, most of them you stop a quiet conversation.
The science of "sexology" gave this phenomenon a slightly different name - "Nero Complex". Nero is a Roman emperor who used quarrels and cries to increase his sexuality. After the stormy scandals the emperor saw in his wife - a stranger, that is before him was a new sexual partner, which attracted much stronger than his wife. Physiologists also explain this phenomenon by increasing testosterone during quarrels, which also contributes to increased emotional arousal.
The problem with some anger is that they dream of a "fallen" woman from adolescence. After all, it's no secret that the image of an obedient honors pupil very rarely excites men, but frivolous girls cause an uncontrollable desire. But, as a rule, men spend time with some, and marry absolutely on others, decent and lovely. The problem arises when a man begins to realize that his decent wife does not cause sexual desire in him. With the fear that he has lost his masculine functions, he goes to the first "night butterfly" and immediately understands that everything is all right, because the problem is not in him, but in his wife. Many men, having learned about this incompatibility, after a few years leave their wives, and some, loving their wife, are looking for all possible ways to get excited from their spouse. And during the next quarrel they discover that the wife in the role of rebel - this is the most sexual image, and further on the well-known scenario. They drag the woman into bed, and each subsequent time use a quarrel as an excuse for sex. At all without thinking about what the other half thinks about such preludes.
Perhaps, the quarrel as an occasion for sex sounds interesting and tempting, if - it happens unexpectedly, spontaneously and rarely. In other cases, men mutilate the psyche of the wife with cruel preludes, and quite often realize this. They try to compensate their cruelty with caress and care in everyday life, sometimes even with expensive gifts.
Psychologists say that such a type as anger, in general, negatively affect women. They feel distrust of them, misunderstanding, aggression and anger. The reason for this can be the upbringing of a lonely father or an unloving mother. As a result, the child grows a misogynist. But, since he can not physically refuse women, he begins to mock her in bed. In other words, the structure of the psyche of anguish consists of two components: 1) dislike of women in general 2) sexual weakness
If you are not lucky and have to share a bed with anger, then keep in mind that your silence will not be regarded as gold. After choosing a partner, you could not guess that you would find such "happiness". In a short time they got used to him, and after you learned about his inclination, you can not part with him any more? Then do not panic if, over time, having exhausted all the topics for quarrels, he will start to scold you for absurd things. Do not frown yourself with an iron lady, any woman with a long mockery will give up the position and run away. If you want to stay, then you need to look for exits.
First, determine what is the root of the problem, that is, what type of man yours is. If you are too decent and do not allow yourself too much in bed (different poses, oral caresses), then your man can still be saved. The problem is more likely you, and you, as a wise woman, should analyze their mistakes. If you see that your husband prefers tougher caresses, then show that you are ready to fulfill his whims and without quarrels. Wear beautiful underwear and behave boldly. Soon he will understand that quarrels as an excuse are already irrelevant.
If your man is a misogynist, then it will be much more difficult for you to change something. To begin with, show that you love him and never betray, make him trust, or even better say that you want a child from him. Of course, it will not be easy to break such a man, but everything is possible. As an additional method, consult a specialist. And do not let go of your hands prematurely, because everything in the world can be changed. As an incentive, let it be for you that the anger is not such a frequent and well-known phenomenon, which means that the problem has a solution, otherwise the women would not be silent about it.