Often the second child in almost every family becomes a pet. Probably, this is due to the fact that the second pregnancy, as well as childbirth, cause much less anxiety in both parents. They are more calm, balanced and affectionate to the newborn baby. By the appearance of the second child in the family, the parents are more conscious, especially since much has been experienced, passed.
But when a second child appears in the family, jealousy and rivalry between children can arise. After all, the first child was first brought up as the only one and received all the attention and love of the parents. And suddenly the situation changes somewhat, the love of the parents is divided between him and his sister or brother. At this time, the family creates new conditions for the upbringing of children, because they are already two.
Before the birth of a brother or sister, the first child felt himself to be the center of the family, as all events were revolving around him. He received a maximum of parental attention and care. During this period, the child develops the following position: "I'm happy only when they care about me and when they pay attention to me." This explains why a child depends on his parents - he needs their caress and love, attention and care.
It is known that it is the first-borns who are characterized by aggression in behavior and egoistic habits. As a result, when a second child appears in the family and the "rules of the game" change, older children experience a condition that can be described as a loss of tranquility and profitable positions.
Data on older and younger children from observations of specialists
The elder and younger child are presented with different requirements. From the firstborn, parents expect more than from the second child. In almost all families, older children are considered leaders and role models for younger children. It was revealed that the first-borns in later life often become leaders in collectives, occupy leading positions, are able to cooperate, are conscientious and responsible in the service, are able to respond quickly in difficult situations, and provide assistance. And in fact, the first child becomes "older" by age, namely at the time of the appearance of a second child in the family. The firstborn must adapt to the new member in the family and the new conditions. Due to this, the older children usually have stronger volitional regulation and adaptive abilities. It is these children that are able to "collect their will into a fist" and commit an act or take a serious decision for themselves.
As for younger children, their parents make much less demands on them. Perhaps, therefore, younger people are less likely to achieve success in life. Usually, these children do not make any high demands on their lives, often they are not in a position to decide their own destiny, to make a serious decision. But, on the other hand, younger children are less aggressive, more balanced. They do not know what it means to lose their positions and get only half of their love from their parents. Younger children do not experience changes in the conditions in the family, because they are in a family where there are older brothers or a sister, and they are younger. It is shown that among younger children there is a propensity for "adventures". They easily take on everything new, perfectly manipulate their parents, try to catch up with their elders, although this is practically impossible.
In a family where there are two children, competition can not be avoided, there will always be competitive situations and relations.
Note to parents
The birth of the first child is accompanied by a tense situation of excitement, as the parents are less experienced, which makes them more anxious.
The second pregnancy and childbirth pass more calmly and confidently, therefore the younger child develops in a calm atmosphere still in the womb.
The older child is well aware of what it means to be single. And the appearance of a second child means for him changes in the conditions of relationships in the family, which forces him to adapt to them.
The second child from birth grows in an unchanging environment (parents, brother and sister were always), so they are calmer and less aggressive.
They are inclined to invent manipulative tricks and tricks in order to reach the eldest child or not to lose the status of "younger", being already an adult.