The advice of a psychologist, if her husband is in the first place friends, at first glance, not even needed. It seems simply enough to understand them or ask about it from someone of the other sex. It is not necessary to comprehend, to make complex schemes. Men are not other beings from another planet, with whom we do not have a common language. We can easily, in fact, apply interest and put ourselves in the shoes of such a man.
Almost all the guys choose in the first place for themselves friends, rarely in the first place for them is a girl. After all, girls come and go, girls are something else then something else, and you have to behave with them quite differently, and friends will always understand and always remain. But what happens when your husband's friends come first? It would seem that this should not be at all and that this is completely wrong ... But in this case, you can find a way out.
This does not mean that the reasons for all of them will be the same and similar priorities indicate that the character is not yet matured or not ready for a "serious" relationship. In fact, the reasons may be different, and we will try to consider the main of them, because knowing the reasons, we can better understand the situation and find a way out of it.
The first possible reason is the lack of readiness for serious marital relationships, which most often occurs in young husbands who do not know how to behave well with women. But in fact, almost all men on one of the main steps of priorities are his friends, the only question is whether she takes a leading position or not. Friends - this is one of the most important things, a very important part in the life of every man. Each of them has a great respect for his friends, is always ready to help them, and being a good friend is a real title that everyone desires to deserve. The difference is only what the idea of friendship has a man, what concept he gives to her and how he behaves. Sometimes unavailability is not a very serious problem, because a husband can be pushed, talk to him about his feelings. Tell him that you do not like the way he behaves, but do it delicately, decide together your problems and mistakes, point out to him what can help him become the best husband for you. Do not forget to mention that you do not forbid him to see friends, respect them very much, but it would be better if he paid more attention to you.
Perhaps, one of the most difficult cases, when a man has first friends, can also be gender discrimination. This type can walk around at parties with friends, go with them to football and beer, at a time when the wife of the house cleans, prepares and erases. In his repose, that's exactly what she must do, he is a man, and he must spend his time with men. A woman for him remains a beloved hare and swallow, but in his ideas she is below the man and performs a completely different role. Such a husband will not put you in the first place, he is not ready to perceive you differently, and trying to change it is a very difficult task. In this case, you should ask yourself, do you need such a life? After all, when a man is openly impolite towards a woman, discriminates against her in relation to friends, this only indicates that he is poorly educated, has false ideas about marriage and gender, and in some cases this husband can be leveled with a domestic tyrant. Think about what you can do about it? Can you reprogram his consciousness, ideas, character? Are you ready to tolerate such treatment all your life?
If a man has the first place of friendship, psychologists say that the reason for this can be simply the arrangement of terminal values. Each person is special, and during his life he forms his own values structure, places priorities in his place. And the fact that her husband will have friends in the first place does not mean the end of the world, this is his opinion, his values, his character, which you must understand and support. The only difference is how this arrangement of values manifests itself, whether it prevents you personally from living, whether it brings some difficulties. If not, consider why you think this is a problem? Is it not easier to accept the position of a husband and accept his decision? After all, he still loves you, trusts you and appreciates, you are for him the best woman and beloved wife, your marriage can be ideal, does it prevent you in that case that the husband is very attached to his friends? Sometimes you just have to put up with this opinion and forget about your own selfishness. Maybe the problem lies in you and the fact that you do not want to give up your "first place in his life"?
If your friends have a bad influence on your husband, and you worry about him, or because of friends he began to treat you badly, the best way is to talk frankly with him. In psychology, there is such a thing as "I-messages". These are more open phrases for the interlocutor, in which you form a conversation from the first person and point to your requirements. You can say "you have bad friends, you have become worse than yourself, they ... you no longer pay attention ...". In this case, the phrase is perceived as a reproach, accusation. I-message will sound like this: "I do not like how you've been treating me lately, I want to talk to you about it, because it's very unpleasant for me when your friends ...". You encourage the opponent to think about your feelings and listen to you.
The advice of a psychologist, if her husband has first place friends - do not try to change it secretly, use manipulation, talk to him and point out to him what you do not like. Form together your relationship, and you will see that everything can be adjusted by joint efforts.