The syndrome of Peter Pan - this is a very common in recent years, a term that is used to refer to a special psychological phenomenon. What does this mean? So they denote the prolonged boyishness, the unwillingness and inability of the boy to grow up. Girls are not subject to such a syndrome. Such a term was invented by American psychologist Dan Cayley, he named the syndrome in honor of the hero of the fairy tale of the English writer James Barry.
In this country this story is not so widespread, moreover, when it was shown on television, it did not attract special attention. Today, this book is already more than a hundred years old, and the screens showed a new Hollywood adaptation, it touches the syndrome of the same name, moreover, many authoritative authors note its popularity.
Tale begins with these words: "Sooner or later all children grow up. Except for one ... "Peter Pan was always twelve years old, he was an exceptional child who embodied the fantasies of other guys. This young man had no parents, Peter lived on a fairy island, along with mermaids, pirates, fairies, Indians, and all the time worried interesting adventures. Sometimes his life hung by a thread, but he was constantly getting out and haggardly withstanding all the obstacles.
At times, Peter sinks into our real boring world, at least in order to listen to Wendy's girl's portals. When Peter got acquainted with this girl, he called her on his island and, of course, they agreed. However, a few days later, Wendy decided to go back home, where you always need to earn yourself a meal, where children grow in any case. And Peter Pan always remains a twelve-year-old kid on the island of adventures and fairy tales that Wendy will tell the children and grandchildren.
Like all fair tales, Barry's book is multi-layered and thoughtful, and a little sad. Peter Pan is not only a matter of admiration, but also of sympathy. He "conserved" himself in childishness, Peter does not know what duties and obligations are, his life is all joy and adventure. Moreover, he does not have real affection. Friends for him are those people with whom he is happy at this moment, but no more. Even when people leave his life or die in general, he regards it simply as an annoying trouble, not a loss. He does not know what self-sacrifice is radically different.
Now there is the same modern writer who said that he loves his wife and children, but he is not attached to them. Even if they disappear from his life, or from life in general, he will treat this as an ordinary natural phenomenon.
Only these words can turn away any person, even if this writer created dozens of interesting books. Judge for yourself, because he says that losing a family is equal to the fact that he survives the freezing rain outside the window. From such people it is necessary to stay away. But is it worthwhile to say that Piterov Penov is now getting divorced more and more?
Surely in your life there were "self-sufficient", quick-tempered boys of different ages who do not want and do not know how to burden oneself with duties and affection, living one day, who value only their needs and desires. If they are told that they need to grow up, they regard it as a loss of their congruency of spontaneity. Pete Pans refuse to admit that life itself is also an adventure, although it does not always look like a carefree tale, but it is even hard, boring and painful. Modern Pete Pans do not want to violate their well-being, so they go carelessly down stream, and maybe they just do not dare ...
Foreign psychologists are convinced that such a syndrome is the result of defects in family education. Modern Peter Pan is becoming a cult figure of our time, he does not owe anything to anyone, he has everything. But the Wendy girl, who was striving to return home to her family, study and work, will soon become a self-conscious character.
An old copy of the English writer Barry emphasizes that real children, though in their own way, are beautiful and nice, initially by their nature are heartless, irresponsible, frivolous, unable to either simple self-discipline or self-sacrifice. Only in time they can become normal people, and in this they should be helped by adults who, over time, are dosed and accustom them to the realities of an adult life. If the parents do not do this, then the boy really will not be able to grow up. What is happening to him?
He himself does not care what he is, and the surrounding people are tormented with him and his defiance, the mythological consciousness, the eternal procrastination in business, the persistent unwillingness to face the truth in his eyes. He constantly annoys those people who show love and attention to him, spits them in the soul, though he wants to be loved and respected.
Psychological portrait of the modern Peter Pan:
Emotional paralysis. His reaction is inadequate, and emotions are inhibited. He expresses his displeasure with fury, joy with hysteria, and disappointment with self-pity and so on.
Social helplessness. No matter how hard he tried, he does not have real friends, because he himself does not know how to appreciate people and can easily betray. As a teenager, he falls under the influence of his peers. He does not know what is good, and what is bad, therefore acts impulsively. Peter Pan more attention and interest showschuzhim people than his family. He is a lonely person and when this understanding comes to him, panic sets in.
Ostrich policy . He seeks not to notice problems, thinking that they will resolve without his participation. He never apologizes, because he does not admit his mistakes. He deserves a good ability to blame others on others.
Dependence on the mother . He is ambivalent about his mom - she irritates him and at the same time he feels guilty, but still wants to get rid of her guardianship and influence. He has a very tense relationship with his mother, because he sarcastically turns with flashes of tenderness. In a small age Peter Pan presses on a feeling of self-pity, so that his mother gives him what he wants, especially with regard to money.
Dependence on the father. With his father he can not communicate normally. He wants to get close to the Pope spiritually, but does not rely on his approval and love. Even in adulthood, his father remains an ideal for him. Because of this, eternal problems are born with primacy.
Sexual dependence . He is so socially helpless that this leaves a special mark on his relationship with the opposite sex. When puberty comes, Peter Pan begins to look for a friend, but thanks to his infantileness, girls shy away from him as a devil from incense. He is afraid that he will be rejected, so we hide this under a mask of cruelty and cruelty. Therefore, even after 20 years, he remains a virgin, of course, he is ashamed to admit it and he tells everyone about his imaginary victories.
Symptoms:
- From the age of 12 to 17, Peter Pan has four qualities that manifest themselves in varying degrees - a violation of the sexual role, restless character, loneliness and irresponsibility.
- From 18 to 22 years they stop denying the problems of interpersonal contacts and are simply turning into narcissists. They endure a sexual attraction on themselves, they admire themselves. Moreover, they are characterized by excessive cruelty.
- From 23 to 25 years there is a serious crisis, they are disappointed in life, begin to communicate with their own kind.
- From 26 to 33 years old, Peter's Peters are reconciled to the fact that life is shit and begin to force themselves into adulthood, without taking responsibility for anything.
- From 34 to 45 years old - at this age, for sure there is a family, children and work, but they do not cease to despair, because of which their life is very boring and monotonous.
- After 45 years of Peter Pan's begin to depressed and get irritated even more. There are times when they think about the fact that there is no meaning in life and they do not need life. They begin to search for youth, leave the family and look for young ladies.
Many of us already understood that the fairy island is just a hazy haze. Sometimes we can remember how cool it was in childhood, easy and carefree, but do not try to turn back there. Surely because they stopped being heartless, frivolous and reckless. But, unfortunately, not all.