To leave or to stay: is there a future for your relationship?


There are many reasons that lead to the fact that even the best relationships can decay. However, whatever happens, the decision to end the relationship is most often given very difficult. We think for a long time about the question, which is better, to stay or to leave. If you can not decide in any way what to decide - try to consistently do the following six steps.

Step # 1. Be yourself, not what you want to see your partner

If you want to do something that is uncharacteristic for you, do you act as if he wants to, or do you still defend your position? If you constantly hide your opinion and try to please others, then this has a very negative impact on your dignity, that is, you can say, on all your feelings. Therefore, if you notice such actions, try to put an experiment - agree with your partner that for a certain time you will only talk about what you really think about, while taking, however, the entire emotional component of the brackets. This experiment will show whether it is possible to restore the former harmony or else the relationship needs to be stopped.

Step number 2. Stop worrying about what others think of you.

In the relationship it is important that they say, think or do the rest. This is yours and only your decision to accept and bear responsibility, for which you will have only. They can give you a lot of different advice, but it's best to remember the old saying "listen to everyone - think for yourself". Do not complicate the situation, taking the fears and alarms of other people. The easiest way to overcome the difficulties of relations will be if you remain calm and think soberly.

Step # 3. Take one of the sides of your "forkedness"

Often, when it is required to take a complex decision, in a person's mind there are at least two doubts on this issue, which say diametrically opposite. More often than not, one opinion for risking, his main motive "everything that happens is for the best." While another voice says that perhaps by making a decision, you will make a mistake, or that in fact it will not change anything. While you are not aware of the existence of this conflict of opinions, you will so toss about from side to side, not knowing what to do.

To deal with this, just sit down and write out all the arguments that lead to the first opinion, and opposite them write down the arguments of the second opinion. Write to the tech until you can fully cover the whole picture, all the positive and negative aspects of the current situation and do not come to a completely logical conclusion. As a rule, after such work, these two opposites are viewed as a single natural solution.

Step # 4: Understand that the best solution to the problem exists

Let's imagine that you got the advice to file for divorce and leave the children to your husband. Most often the answer to this will be "I can not do this!". Now try to produce the same phrase, but change "I can not" to the expression "I will not". It's strange, but this replacement works - the atmosphere in relationships is noticeable when people realize that in fact they want to preserve their relationship. This replacement allows one person to understand that in fact they are free to do what they want, and to others - that they can always choose what they need.

Step # 5. Take into account your interests

Do not expect that someone from the side will come and immediately tell you how to do it properly, this will never happen. Do not try to follow other people's advice and meet the expectations and standards. Do not be afraid and do not hesitate to behave as you see fit.

Step # 6. Think about how you would behave if you knew that you only have six months to live

Imagine that you need to live no more than six months - unless in this case you were worried by some minor shortcomings of the relationship, like quarrels in the evenings. If you are determined to end the relationship - do it right away. If you decide to save them - just start correcting something that does not suit you. This exercise helps to see the true state of affairs and begin to act.