You set a goal to create an alliance with a man? Then you need to determine what it will be, because it depends on it - whether it will suit you or not. I suggest you get acquainted with the psychoanalytic typology of unions between a man and a woman. I think this will expand your ideas and knowledge about the relationship ... The proposed method for determining your union is fairly simple, does not require a complex study and is designed for a general perception of the dynamics of the relationship.
Paranoid alliances
Paranoid relations are characterized by an environment of excessive control and observation, which creates distrust and fear of the probability of being persecuted.
The power, most often, is concentrated at the most suspicious participant of the union, moreover, they do not need to be a man. Both the partner and everyone close to them are used only to collect and prepare information about internal and external dangers. In such unions, conservatism dominates, the environment is afraid to seem too enterprising and inventive. Life credo: "Let's get out somehow!".
To reduce the existing risk in such unions helps to distinguish between all possible actions and processes. The atmosphere is more cold, rational and devoid of emotional warmth.
Epileptoid alliances
The desire for excellence in such relations simply knows no bounds. Errors and uncertainties should be avoided by all truths and fouls. Here there is a cult of planning and regulation, because there are fears that unexpected factors paralyze the vital activity of the union. Here on everything there are principles, attitudes and directions accumulated over long years. Nothing happens by chance, there can not be any small things. Such relations are rather conservative, they are not able to react quickly to changes occurring in the external environment. Partners are strongly attached to time-tested, and even better, generations of attitudes, truths and development strategies.
The main motive of the epileptoid union is reluctance to depend on someone or anything. The partners want to define everything in their life themselves. Decisions are taken extremely hard and, if the question is not thoroughly studied, can easily be postponed until the best time.
The common problem of such unions is that the partners do not see behind the trees the woods inhabited by terrible animals.
Hysteroidal alliances
Normal interaction in hysteroid unions turns into dramatic performances and dramatizations. The process is much more important than the result. In such relations, there is hyperactivity, enterprise, impulsiveness and ease. Risk, courage and independence in decision-making are the basis of the leader's behavior. First and foremost, he needs a partner to reinforce his propensity for self-admiration. For him, any space (be it an apartment or better some public place) is a scene where you can show yourself and demonstrate your "bold" and original solutions.
There is no place for normal communication in such unions. All spontaneously. There is no strategy. It is impossible to make plans, even short-term ones. The containment and control mechanisms do not work.
Philosophy of the demonstrator: "I want to be meaningful, I want to make an impression."
Depressive alliances
Such alliances are passive. Partners are absolutely not sure of their abilities, they do not see the meaning and purpose of their couple's existence. Their lives are filled with the routine of boring ceremonies and procedures, there is no desire to change anything in their life. Such relationships do not exist, but exist.
In the heads - a vacuum. The fear of making mistakes is so great that partners try to stay in this life only with the help of yesterday's skills and conquests. Insecurity and depression of the leader is expressed in complaints and in the search for external reasons for their failures.
Everything is permeated with pessimism. All are demoralized and demotivated. Their motto is: "You are quietly going - you will continue" or "My hut from the edge".
Schizoid unions
The surrounding see such unions cold, detached, withdrawn, and sometimes even dangerous.
The leader in the relationship is usually introverted, helpless in tactical matters, deprived of friendly and informal contacts, does not even try to clearly express his position and views. The unity of personal and business processes is violated, which leads to a decrease in union activity.
Usually such a pair is in an information vacuum. The main interest of the leader is, as a rule, in some obsession, which is connected with the envy of luck or competence of one of the acquaintances. Establishing an internal and external distance is a kind of protection of an already lowered self-esteem.
The unions I described are, of course, pathological. But if you look closely at your and other unions known to you, you will be able to see some trends that will help to identify emerging or already born problems.
What if you found yourself on the road to a problem?
Look closely at the map, and you will see that you just need to change the route and maybe change the fellow-traveler ...