The man is the head of the family
Traditional for many of the conviction that a man - the main thing in the family is gradually disappearing into the past. But all the same this opinion occupies rather strong positions in our society. Men are perceived as a strong half of humanity since the time of memory when they physically extracted food for the family and protected their loved ones from dangers. The conditions of life were so severe that the family needed an unconditional leader whose decisions were never challenged. Many women want to see the head of the family is the man who will take responsibility for the family, its material well-being, will solve a majority of common problems. Fragile women see a man as their defender.
Psychologists agree that the role of the head of the family for a man is inherent in nature. In order to be responsible for the stability of the family, we need to take thoughtful, deliberate decisions, and since men rationalism prevails over emotions more often, it is easier for them to make such decisions than for women who differ in their impulsiveness. Men are more dependent on status, and since being the head of the family is also a status, it will make him perceive the family as his own project, to which he will happily invest. If you push the man away from the management of the family, he will try to find another way to express himself, feel his importance and necessity, for example, in work or watchfulness.
The establishment of atriarchy
It is not uncommon for the families in which the woman occupies a dominant position. Often in such unions, a woman has a pronounced leadership qualities, and a man is a gentle kind person. Such a woman, by virtue of her active nature, takes the person responsible for the family, for her well-being. A typical business lady, married to a romantic, accustomed to lead in her workplace, will begin to follow her behavior in the same way in the family. A man takes on the responsibility to monitor children, solve household issues. In this situation, everything depends on the character of the spouses. But often a man who could quite well manage with the role of head of the family voluntarily gives the reins to the women's hands, because we are all naturally lazy. But to lead a family is a serious occupation, requiring a high degree of responsibility, and when a man takes all this cargo out of his hands, he may not resist at all. Often, when men were raised by a powerful mother with a strong character, he simply does not represent that a decision in the family can be made by someone other than women.
Another reason, a family dodger is established matriarchy - the prevailing situation in society. In some countries, for example, in China, there are far fewer women than men, and they simply take advantage of this. At home, they frankly manipulate men, abusing their status, and men are simply afraid of losing their spouse, because in the event of a divorce the chance to get married again is very small.
Democratic state
In addition to a pronounced patriarchy or matriarchy, there is another form of managing a family ship - it is democracy, equality in solving family issues. To do this, both man and woman must be psychologically ready. That is, to take a decision is to take responsibility, and not all, in fact, tend to take such a burden on their shoulders. Solving any issue in a unilateral order can hamper the self-esteem of the second half, so it is advisable to hold family councils, in which everyone will express his position, and only after this a decision is accepted, with which both agree. This means that both of the consequences of such a decision will be answered by both, and reproaches, like "I talked", are no longer accepted.
Sometimes people who are prone to the manipulation, most often women, invest their decisions in the consciousness of a loved one, forcing him to think that the decision was his own, and the woman simply agreed with him. It is very difficult to call such a democratic situation. Democracy is based on love and mutual respect, and manipulation is a deception that gives the manipulator a sense of power. It is very difficult to make decisions together. Many argue that democracy and equality in the family are a myth. They equalize family life with sailing on a ship, in which there is only one captain. Yes, if people are not able to accept the position of the other, if there is no respect, then attempts to solve something together will simply be dragging on to their side. But in this case it is difficult to talk about a joint life. Democracy provides for the ability to yield and compromise, respecting the position of a loved one. In any case, love is the main reason why people create a family, so it is important that they do not forget about their feelings in the pursuit of their own importance.
Its role
About the distribution of responsibilities in the family can be said for a very long time. There are certain traditions in society that divided the duties in the family into masculine and feminine, according to which the immunity should hammer nails and repair equipment, and the woman prepare borschtes to wear clothes. Another traditional role for men - to earn the maintenance of the family, and for the woman - to stay at home with children. If both spouses were brought up in a traditional setting, then for them such a state of affairs would be perfectly acceptable and they would harmoniously coexist together.
There is another way of redistribution of duties, when the role in the family meets the personal qualities of men and women. If a person is more competent in any field or just likes it, then it would be more rational to let him do it in the family. In other words, everyone does something for the family that he likes, and that he or she is good at it. For example, if a man enjoys cooking culinary masterpieces, so why not give him the primacy in the kitchen. A woman is a born financier, who knows how to save the family budget, is able to take care of finances in the home.
Of course, it's good when everyone does what they like, but there are many duties in the house, fulfillment of which may not be particularly joyful to anyone. In this case it is better to decide together who and what will be engaged in the home, so that there is no distortion, when one does all the main work. This situation often leads to mutual insults and reproaches.
Sometimes psychologists advise families to partially change their duties, so that the spouses feel at each other's place and come to mutual understanding. This experience is very useful, and sometimes funny. Often women and men are afraid to share their responsibilities, because they are afraid to lose a sense of their own importance in the family. But this is not so, because in a family where there is mutual respect and understanding, this will never happen.