The habit of getting
In fact, the psychology of adults is not so much different from the child. When we constantly give a person everything, eventually he gets used to it and, to a greater or lesser degree, begins to take everything for granted. By the way, this does not mean that a person is bad. Each of us perceives this behavior in a way that is honest and noble. Simply on the human subconscious is imprinted, that someone always does everything for him. At first he can refuse, say that nothing is needed. But if he sees that we ourselves are behaving like this kind of pleasure, then at first he will stop resisting, and then he'll just get used to it. Over time, he will stop appreciating what we do for him the way it was at first. Roughly speaking, if you see that, for example, your brother constantly lacks money and you help him, then at first he can talk, then constantly thank, but in the end he will begin to take it as a duty, no longer thinking about it, but does not bring it this is your loss. And, this does not always mean that a person will stop appreciating you or starting to hunt, although there are also such cases. No, he will continue to be fond of love, but will cease to think about the fact that you need to repay that giver. And it can not be condemned for it, because you yourself have spoiled the person. You showed him that you can constantly help, what brings you this joy and you do not suffer from what you are doing. If, after the lapse of time, you begin to tell him that he does not think about you, reproach you, and so on, the spoiled person simply will not take it seriously. He is used to the fact that for your help there is no difficulty, hence, now that you are starting to make something, you just want to put a tantrum in a vacant place. Moreover, he himself did not ask anything, so by what right do you make claims?
Many children treat their parents the same way, even when they grow up. They can love Mom and Dad very much, but when they get into such topics, they are surprised and offended, because they are sure that the parents can help them, because before that they always did this. The habit of getting deep is rooted in the person in the brain and he already simply can not imagine a different situation. Spoiling a person, you turned him into a child, and yourself into a parent who lives his whole life for his child and gives him everything. Even an adult and independent person can easily and quickly become accustomed to such a dilapidation. Without even realizing it, he sees in you a loving mother who is ready for anything and from which the angry statements that the ion owes you something are very strange. By the way, if you are spoiling a really good person, he will always respond to your request and help you, although it will seem a little strange, because in the subconscious you are now an adult, and he is just a child who should receive, not give.
The situation can be much worse if you have spoiled a selfish person who has always tried to "sit on someone's neck". In this case, a spoiled person will not only take help from you, but will begin to extort, if he does not get what you want. This is how they behave the guys, who fall in love with the notorious women. Such ladies, without knowing it, buy love and affection. Any woman who loves and doubts the reciprocal feeling can pamper a person by stupid nostrum to show how she adores him, and also to try to tie herself to herself. In this case, a good person who does not feel a woman, just explain everything and go away, but the egoist and gigolo will remain in the ranks to behave like a small brazen child. That's just to ask it will not be a candy or a toy. In the end, it turns out that women buy their men apartments and cars, and those in response, offend, call and extort more and more. Because of this pampering of loved ones is very polygamous. Sometimes it begins to reach physical violence, and the lovely ladies, in order to defend themselves, try to do more and more to win the love. The craving for pampering loved ones often happens among those who have many complexes. They just do not believe that they can be loved just like that. Here they start to pamper a person and in the end, instead of love, they receive contempt and mockery.
Insolvency
Spoiling a person, among other things, we are also developing a banal lack of autonomy. That is, when a person sees that at any moment we will come to his rescue and help him, he ceases to try to gain more by his own forces. After all, why strongly overexert yourself if there is such a "chip and dale" that always comes to the rescue. It is because of this that adults are too categorically prohibited. Instead of helping, you destroy the personality, creating a fertile soil for laziness. For example, if a person has a low salary, which only grasps for needs, he starts to think about what can be done to get enough money for entertainment, as well as for other needs. Thus, he stimulates himself to go to school, change jobs and so on. But if he knows that you are around, then the need to change something simply disappears. On that, without which it is impossible to do without, he himself will earn, and everything else you buy him. Vitoga can happen so that you will refuse yourself in everything, working for a loved one, and he will live in his own pleasure, especially without stress. Pay attention, this is the way the so-called "father" sons and daughters conduct themselves. They always know that Dad will buy them a car and apartment, so they learn somehow, they work the same way and do not react to all angry tyrants. And all because in due time the father and mother gave everything and did not bring up independence in them. That's why now they wish to continue living at the expense of their parents, because they have neither the stimulus nor the desire to achieve something by themselves.
So if you sincerely and strongly love someone, be a baby, brother, friend, husband, never let yourself too much pampered person. Everything that you do for him can only do much harm. Try to control yourself so that he can feel really independent, learn to appreciate what you are doing for him, and had an incentive for self-improvement. For each person is very important is a sense of support from relatives, but if you go too far with it, you can simply ruin the person and his character, and also turn your loved one into a little child who knows only "give."