Most often you can come across the opinion that if a man has a mistress, the main reason for this lies in the fact that his wife does not suit him sexually. Often there is some truth in this, but not the whole truth. The various factors that provoke men to "go left" are huge. This may be a loss of sexual interest, and a desire to diversify their lives, and curiosity. A man can push on the betrayal of the desire to prove something to others, for example, to his friends, who also like to "go left." The reason may be a poor upbringing or an incorrect pattern of behavior inherited by a man from a father who betrayed his mother. A man can be banally a womanizer, who trails behind every skirt, the reason of which again lies in education, surroundings and so on. Change can trigger normal alcohol in the presence of favorable soil. Also, the bad influence of society is important, because now the level of responsibility is falling, and the level of selfishness and callousness is getting higher. In addition, we should not forget about some influence of television, the Internet, gloss and other media.
But for all that, the main tool of betrayal is the brain. No matter how joking about what men think in reality, betrayal is born in the head, in the mind. A man, in our case a man, deliberately destroys barriers and principles and goes to treason. And then he blames his wife, alcohol, life and so on, stuff. In other words, it seeks an excuse. It must be remembered that a person is a reasonable being, and therefore, if he has consciously committed treason, then he is responsible for this act.
What is the root of the problem? Why do men have permanent mistresses? The social role of a man is fundamentally different from the female role, so historically there is in society. For example, we often hear the following: a man is a breadwinner, men do not cry, a man must be a support and support for his family, a man must be strong, he must be an advocate and much more. This is all so, and the men themselves are aware of this. But to the full, they understand their social role most often already in a marriage. This is due to the fact that, having entered into a family relationship, a man should be responsible not only for himself, but also for his wife and his children. He should be the same breadwinner, protector, support, and for children - as an educator, an example for imitation. A man is overgrown with a bunch of new duties.
Thus, some men subconsciously feel the burden of responsibility that is pressing on them, and to some extent are afraid of all this, which, of course, does not justify them.
Then some time passes, the man reaches maturity and already feels less strong, young and fervent. And this is a normal change in the life stage. In place of young fervor come other, more mature and serious principles, priorities and values. A man acquires something else - the family, material and social stability, serious work, he increases his intellectual level, becomes more emotionally stable, and so on. But if a man, looking back, realizes that he has nothing to brag about, that he has not achieved anything, that he regrets a lot, then it's more difficult to survive this stage. If a man sees missed opportunities, lost time, hated work with low wages and so on, then here problems can begin. A man begins to feel that he did not take place either as a person or as a man, and that the best part of life is already behind him. Here and there are stresses and problems. This is a mid-life crisis (years 30-40), when men most often set themselves permanent mistresses. A young man, say, 25 years old, inclined to betrayal, is likely to prefer a short-term relationship.
So, to prove to himself and society that he is a man "in the prime of his life," and to compensate for the lack or lack of other qualities and personal achievements, a man can make himself a permanent mistress. And then the unfaithful husband feels younger and more provocative, charming and attractive, such as he was in adolescence.
And, the younger the mistress, the younger a man feels, the higher his self-esteem becomes.
The man experiences new sensations, acute and exciting. And the sensations are both sexual and emotional. For him, it becomes an adventure, a forbidden fruit. Also, a man proves to himself his sexual power and his sexual abilities.
In addition, in the person of a mistress, a man often finds an attentive listener. She supports him, she can talk about her thoughts and emotions, and she will not condemn.
What else is pushing men to find a permanent mistress? At home, relations are tense, life itself, life problems affect. It seems to the unfaithful husband that his wife often screams, finds fault, does not understand him, does not support. A mistress for a man - a kind of holiday. She always listens and supports, she is tender and loving.
Another reason - the wife has ceased to monitor herself, has launched herself. Mistress also meets a man beautiful, sexy and with make-up. Plus, the previous fervent feelings between the spouses gave way to a more calm and balanced relationship, more like friendship than love. Sexual life also became meager, fresh and monotonous, the attraction diminished.
Or maybe my husband just fell out of love, unfortunately, it happens. But in this situation, it's often the most honest thing to part with, even if there are children. The child will grow more balanced if the parents love him, but live separately than if they live together, but quietly hate each other.
Or maybe her husband is a womanizer! But here already, as they say, "the humpbacked grave will correct". Such a wife can be both clever and beautiful, but everything is not enough for him, he is asserting himself.
If a woman wants to keep a happy family, she should try to understand her husband, take into account his opinion, interests, feelings. It is necessary to remain an interesting person and an attractive woman. A full-fledged sex life and interesting joint leisure also play a very important role.
Life, of course, is a complicated thing. And the situation is still different. But men are called strong sex, which means that their behavior must be courageous and stable, actions - weighed. If there are problems in the family - they need to be solved, if the problems do not disappear - maybe you need to get divorced. This, at least, honestly, unlike the running around from one woman to another and the constant justifications of her behavior. Now you know why a married man gets a permanent mistress.