The constant question "Is everything alright with me?" Is the most often asked by any woman when it comes to sex. Many people feel from time to time that, maybe they are not perfect in what they fantasize about, what they like or, conversely, dislike in sex. It is difficult for them to understand that the question of "normality" in this field is generally very relative. What is normal for one, can be a real change for another, and vice versa.
Intimophobia is a disease that is not talked about
In fact, it's not so much a disease as a state of building relationships with other people. In men, intimophobia is usually manifested in fear of not directly sexual, but intimate, very close and lasting emotional relationships with a woman. Women are the same intimophobia expressed most often in the fear of sexual relations.
The causes of intimophobia may be different - social, psychological, sexual. Getting rid of this ailment is extremely difficult, in the most difficult cases, you need the help of a good psychotherapist, a long and painstaking work with a woman and a detailed analysis of all her previous life. The roots of intimophobia (as well as of all mental abnormalities) are pawned early childhood. Psychologists regard it as a pathology of character due to the upbringing of a single, mentally unbalanced mother. It is the mother's behavior that makes her daughter unbelief in the predictability of another person. She does not trust anyone, trying not to depend on anyone in life.
Less often intimofobimybyvayut even strong and very self-confident people. By the way, it is possible that Kazanova himself suffered intimophobia. This ailment, and not his legendary sexual appetite, made the poor fellow change partners so swiftly. Any man-donujanoitsya be rejected. And a man with intimophobia does not believe in loyalty and friendship at all. So his constant change of mistresses, he seems to be "insured" against possible failures. Less frequent phenomenon - when a woman or a man does not accept any emotionality, is afraid of violent feelings, considering it a weakness. Therefore, they tend to be non-emotional, that is, in their opinion, painful. In the depths of the soul, such people are constantly afraid. And behind the ostentatious impudence and even self-confidence are directly opposite feelings, - a constant pressuring self-confidence, in its merits.
Intimofobmuzhchiny
It's very difficult to deal with such a man. Even if you can at least slightly weaken his armored defense, you will constantly come across his isolation, coldness and even selfishness. In this case, believe me, the man himself suffers. Therefore, after many unsuccessful attempts to somehow arrange their personal life, intimates begin to resort to peculiar means of psychological protection: they see a woman only as a means of sexual relaxation. They, most often, themselves honestly warn: "We will have great sex, but do not expect more!".
To keep a number of intimophobia, psychologists advise a woman to give him maximum freedom. Do not show your feelings, because as soon as the intimophob realizes that it is attached to you, he immediately parted with you. Probably, this is a good strategy. Such men are perfect for easy sex, but not for the role of a partner in life. It is better to keep from such types further away - there will be fewer problems. To re-educate an adult intimophobe it is possible to units. So how can you be undaunted when choosing a permanent partner, how not to waste time and nerves on such a man who will not stay with you for a long time anyway?
First, you need to be able to immediately recognize male intimophobes. Secondly, try to evaluate their courtship as much as a man estimates them himself. He says that for simple simple hugs and kisses are only small signs of attention? Then for vasoni should not mean anything serious. Thirdly, remember: never think with confidence that it is you who can remake the "womanizer". It is almost impossible to transform a grown man into himself. Fourth, you can choose such a man as a temporary partner - it is ideal for this. If you are afraid to fall in love with him, stay away from such men, even without looking at tenderness, forewarnedness and chivalry.
Ethnophobes
Female intimofobiya depends on the age, and sexual development samoshenshchiny. It's one thing if you are afraid of sex at 16, and quite another - at 30 yo. Young girls may simply not be ready for sex psychologically, this is the norm, in many cases such an "ailment" goes with age. But the women in the 30 years old, suffering from the rejection of sex in principle, there are good reasons for that. If you have not been 16 for a long time and you also feel disgust or fear at the thought of axex, then try to honestly answer the following questions:
- Did it ever happen that in your childhood you were sexually touched, and the thought of these physical touches of grief is unpleasant so far?
- Do you like your body, or is there something that makes you ashamed of it?
- Did they teach Livas since childhood that sex is dirty and wrong?
- Think what will happen if you enter into an intimate relationship with someone? What will you feel in moments of intimacy?
Honest answers will help you understand the true causes of your fears. So you can quickly get rid of them. However, it is better to do this with the help of a good psychologist. Women suffer from intimophobia more often and "deeper" than men. Many of them earn good money, build a career, so they do not need a man-breadwinner. Such a lady is much more convenient to have just "temporary" partners. Many single women even decide to give birth to a child "for themselves," believing that they have enough strength and money to do this. Despite all the efforts of a lonely man, a child in an incomplete family always receives one-sided education. From this there are various kinds of problems-significant or not.
True, there were cases, when even the most hopeless intimophobes suddenly healed without the help of a psychotherapist. It is possible if such a person meets real mutual love. The phenomenon has not yet been studied to the end, but it has already been proved: passionate and obligatory love can be corrected even by psychological complexes inherent in childhood. The healing of love in this case is not a bike, but a real reality.