Have you noticed that children please parents and others only those who can admire, admire, be touched by their child? It's not for the sake of showing off (in such griefs, parents grow up shuffled and insecure or irritable and uncontrollable), namely, truly: marking and monitoring every day growth and development, new successes and skills, and even the slightest changes in facial expressions, gestures, gait. Do not just note the changes from time to time, but admire them. It is then that we can say with certainty: happy children are happy parents.
Often I come across the fact that many people do not understand or fully understand the meaning of the word "admire". At us from a lexicon words which describe this process have almost dropped out. Previously, these words were used widely and for the purpose: "You are my love," "my beloved," these and other similar ones were used either to appeal to loved ones or towards children. But the verb is to love, the active verb and it implies the action of admiration.
To make it clearer, what we are talking about, consider the example with room colors.
Many have houseplants, but not all flowers really please the eye. Why is this happening? If you see how the hosts treat their flowers, it will become clear. Plants, which are remembered only when it is necessary to water them from time to time, at such owners flowers at best become green, and at worst - wither. And look at those who at each watering their pets admire them, notice and enjoy each new leaf, each bud. Gently and gently touch the leaves and petals, smile at them, communicate with them. Flowers from such owners really blossom: lusting owners with lush greenery, long vines, wonderful flowers, creating in the room a wonderful garden, a stunning, luxurious oasis. All plants feel an attitude towards themselves, this has already been proved by biology scientists. Flowers, feeling joy in relation to themselves, strive in return to please those who rejoice. And those who are not happy, do not know how to grow them or wither.
Let's return to our topic of love and admiration for children.
Have you met smiling, open, cheerful, joyful children? For certain it was necessary. Pay attention to the parents of such children, as they admire and are touched by their child. With what genuine pleasure and real attention he listens, trying to answer all questions, communicates with his child seriously, as with an equal. With great pleasure he creates, works with him, happily plays mobile games, he generally likes to just be with his child, see him, watch him. It is not surprising that a child of such parents blossoms. But can it be otherwise, because a son or daughter constantly feels that they like parents, that they are happy that he needs it?
Now we turn our attention to shy, secretive, sullen, irritable children. And, most importantly, look at how the parent of such a child looks at his creation. Most likely, he does not look at him. These parents are always busy, tired, worried, irritated. These parents have their own worries, they are not up to the child. Moreover, this child also constantly distracts, hinders, tires. Some parents believe that feeding, watering, dressing enough. How to enjoy life in general, these parents have forgotten, but to rejoice in the child ... Is it possible to rejoice at the one who constantly whines, interferes, breaks everything and stains everything?
What to do with the daughter (the son), if she is shy, constrained, irritable? It is necessary to explain again and again that to love is an active verb. It means that the object of love is always glad that they are admired. And most importantly the object of love must feel, know that they are admired, they rejoice that they accept it as it is.
Without love, children grow weeds, becoming shy, irritable, insecure. After all, they do not feel that they are needed and loved. Looks like these children, respectively: the world looks sullenly, curled up (the back becomes a wheel), they are hiding from this world. How differently, they are not happy, they interfere.
If your child is shy, often just a little afraid or irritable, or even uncontrollable, then you need to learn how to love your child. Take for the rule every day to find 3-5 reasons to rejoice at your child, to admire, listen to him and to be taken seriously and with understanding to his interests.
You can not brush aside the child, inventing the reasons that once or tired. Even if, you really can not now listen to the child, explain why and later, take time for it.
You will become more clear about what I'm saying if you have a favorite hobby. Remember how you like to do this business, prepare for this activity, anticipate the process and plan the results, and how nice to talk about your hobby. That's how the active form of love manifests itself. Our hobbies and hobbies give us happiness and joy.
What to bring up happy and joyful children, you need to learn to rejoice yourself and be carried away by upbringing, to form a child with pleasure, then the process of education will bring joy and pleasure and satisfaction from the result.
Let your life be filled with numerous moments of joy and happiness ...