According to the opinion of psychologists, most couples in which such behavior is not new, consist in a very strong psychological dependence on each other. Briefly, in such a tandem, a man, as a rule, is dependent on his wife, feels (or is often unaware of) this dependence, feels powerless in this connection and solves the question of his impotence in the most primitive way, trying to demonstrate his superiority and assert power . The victim, in turn, trying to defend himself, often provokes another incident. If it does not provoke, the tyrant finds any excuse and starts himself. The most important sign of the presence of a woman's psychological dependence is the fact that after her departure "forever", she returns again and again, buying into the entreaties and entreaties of her abandoned partner. While at the time of the return she had the opportunity to exist without him, both financially and physically. These couples live in this mode for many years and, as a rule, do not disintegrate. And having split up - they are reunited again. What can one do to those who do not belong to such "lucky ones", women who do not have such a strong psychological dependence on their torturers and wish to get rid of such a way of life.
Let's try to consider two options: first - when violence manifests itself in the relations of young people, where a young man raises his hand, has not yet entered into a sufficiently strong relationship and has no children, and the second - when violence occurs in an already existing family. In both cases, the answer is one - to sever relations in the most merciless way. In these two cases, the gap scenario is far from the same. If in the first case the gap can go much easier, then in the second it's not so simple.
The main reasons for the delay from the gap: a woman's fear, if a man frightened her; inability to solve the housing problem; presence of joint children; and, in the end, the persuasion of a man who makes a woman believe that "this was the last time." In the case when the woman is intimidated, or vice versa, she pities her abuser or regrets children who can stay without a father - this is a woman's problem, with which she usually has to cope herself. To do this, it is important to understand that the example of a father raising a hand on his mother is the worst example, and he is most likely to repeat in the family life of the children themselves in the future. Preservation of the father in the family is not an excuse to sacrifice oneself. It must be remembered that beatings of the mother is an irreparable psychological trauma for the child, which affects both his own self-esteem and his psycho-emotional state. According to factual data, among the young killers - the majority were convicted of massacre of men, who were scoffed by their mothers. It is also important to understand that pity is not an option, to remember that the abuser, when he touched a hand over a woman, did not feel this pity. It will be more difficult for a woman to cope with her fear of a man if he threatened her or her children. Fear is the most powerful tool of submission. In this case it is necessary to weigh - how realistic are the threats of the tyrant, and what must be done so that they can not be realized. If there is a way to protect yourself and there are children, you need to act. For such a gap, as well as in cases of financial dependence on a tyrant's man, a woman will need help from the outside. It can be the support of parents, friends, relatives, anyone, if only this eventually helped. In any case, a woman for the exit of their situation will require a huge willpower and courage. She can be helped by the need to take care of her children, the need to protect them from the horror of domestic violence.
Also, we should not forget that in most cases women understand everything, but refuse to take decisive actions for fear of "taking the dirty linen out of the hut," for fear that "others will find out about it", friends, girlfriends and such a story will not add to her honor, once a man raises his hand. They hide from the feeling of shame. These feelings must immediately be extinguished in the bud, because such a sense of shame passes only when the man is completely dissolved, the situation begins to go beyond any possible framework and the question is no longer about health, but about the life of a woman. Only when the victim, as they say, barely carries away her legs, she forgets about the feeling of shame and fear for her reputation and her family's reputation. For this reason, it is also not worth waiting for.
I will add from myself - looking to the future, namely to a possible divorce case, a woman should record all beatings documented - go to doctors and even apply to the police. In the future, if a young man tries to drag the blanket over to his side in the process of divorce when deciding on whom to stay with children, such documents can serve a woman a good service.