First, to understand how to behave, if relatives are trying to do everything behind their backs, it is necessary to understand why they do this.
Often, relatives feel that they are more wise and older. That's why they can do something for you without asking for your permission. Of course, they really have a lot of experience and they are trying to help. But, when this happens without your consent and behind your back, it looks extremely ugly. Most often, relatives try to protect the girls from the gentlemen, who, in their opinion, are not suitable. Of course, it's very painful when you try to take away your love behind your back. Therefore, we immediately begin to get angry, and believe that relatives spoil our lives. But, nevertheless, you should not take everything with an absolute negative. Sometimes, older and wiser people just see what we can not see on our own. Therefore, if the loved ones do not like your man, calmly analyze why they act in this way. Of course, the fact that they are trying to separate you without your knowledge is not good, but perhaps they just realized that talking to you is useless? Try, honestly answer yourself, how much these people are right and how much their actions are argued. If your family gives you conclusive evidence, you do not need to close your eyes to them. Try to perceive everything as an adult should. Perhaps your relatives just feel that you are behaving like a child, and they are trying to protect you the way they did in childhood. Therefore, you need to talk to them calmly, and reasonably explain why you are displeased with their behavior. If they say that they know best what you need, calmly talk to them. Say that you really appreciate their help, but if they do not like something, let them better tell you everything by looking into your eyes, and not solve your problems yourself. You're no longer a small child, so you can take note of what they said, think about and decide how best to do it. But, if your decision does not coincide with their point of view, then, you hope for their understanding and do not want them to continue to interfere. Even if they are right, in such situations, sometimes it is necessary to fill a couple of vital cones to understand everything themselves. Therefore, do not worry for you, after all, you can not always live someone else's wisdom. In order to become as smart as they are, you need to gain your own life experience. Therefore, no matter how much they love you, you do not need to protect you from all life's problems, otherwise, you simply will not learn how to fight them yourself.
Also, there are times when our relatives do something for our benefit, but we do not know about it. How can we act in a situation where this is revealed? First, answer yourself honestly, did their actions bring positive results? If the answer is unambiguously positive, then, still, do not be angry with your relatives. Better think about it, it would all work out that way, if you knew about their intentions and actions from the very beginning? After all, it happens that we ourselves spoil everything because of uncontrollable emotions or for other reasons. Perhaps your family knows this, so they decided not to tell you anything until everything is decided. They did not in any way want to offend you, just, in some moments, they know you better than you. In such cases, it may not even be worth these people to ask not to do something behind your back. Think, the situation will change for the better, if they do so, or, conversely, for the worse. Only, in such cases, never be controlled by emotions and anger. Otherwise, you can simply offend close people and at the right time you will remain without such necessary help and support. Still, the family is the most important and basic thing that every person has. And, when our family tries to protect us, often, it does it on a subconscious and intuitive level. And intuition, as you know, never lies. Therefore, before you argue and fight against relatives, you need to be sure that they will make you worse, not better.
But, of course, there are also those situations in which our relatives really go too far. For example, this is when we are sent to receive an unloved education or do not give the opportunity to live independently, in every way interfering with this. In such cases, conversations do not always work. The fact is that relatives use their experience and wisdom, as in previous cases, but do not pay attention to your desires and hopes. For example, they believe that the profession of a lawyer is much more promising than the artist's profession and answer all your arguments that they do not want you to ruin your life. If everything happens this way, then you need to act independently, and even against your relatives. Just do not need to make scandals. It's better to tell them coldly and calmly that you do not need such help and you will be the one to understand everything yourself. Only when putting the question on edge in such cases, remember that you are really alone, because they will most likely decide to teach you a lesson so that you understand that you will not achieve anything. Therefore, be prepared for the fact that you really have to punch their way of life on their own. And, if you feel that you do not have the strength, it is better, still, to listen to relatives. Perhaps even what you do not like, in your case, is still the right choice.