Can you always say no when you want it? Being afraid of harming relationships, at work or at home, we very often agree with something when we do not want to do it at all. How to be? Continue to answer "yes" or, conversely, never say yes, when I want to say no ...
The psychology of human relations is a rather complicated matter, requiring deep and constant knowledge in this field. Nevertheless, I often come across the fact that some people get on quite easily and naturally with people without having sufficient experience and knowledge in the psychology of relations. Someone can refuse you so simply that you will not even notice it.
However easy or difficult it is to contact people, I think it is important to always maintain one vital rule of human relations: "Never say yes, when you want to say no."
Why is that? Once having agreed with something contrary to your own desire, you give another reason to you to manage, think that everything suits you, and sometimes such an easy approval of somebody else's "desire" can be expensive in the future. So why should you subject yourself to restriction and risk, when this can be easily avoided ?! The main thing in all this is to be able to correctly say "no."
It happens that it is much easier for your close people to say "no" than to tell the employee or friends and friends. Agreeing once again with something unnecessary or unwanted, you "steal" your personal time and, perhaps, the time of people close and dear to you. Therefore, you need to learn to say "no."
Situations requiring an answer "yes" or "no" can be a whole lot. For example, it is not always easy to refuse a regular invitation to the employee's birthday, a request to help with work, it is difficult to refuse the arrival of unexpected guests, etc. In any situation, it is not always possible to deny directly, because it is possible to offend a person or spoil relations. It is important to come up with a very reasonable, truthful excuse and not forget it, so as not to be a deceiver in the eyes of others.
I think, in some situations it is appropriate to tell the true truth, than to invent some other excuse. Sitting at home in a decree with a small child, I very often had to deny the arrival of regular guests who were impatient to visit us with my daughter. In this situation, I just said the truth: "I'm sorry, I'm very glad to see you, but with my restless Lisa, because of the absence of the regime of the day, I simply can not give you (you) enough attention. We'll grow up - and then, please! "
Another thing is, you refuse the authorities for a year. Tell the boss "no" - deprive yourself of possible privileges and rewards (if your refusal concerns working issues). Why do you need this? There are situations when the authorities force you to attend general corporate meetings and holidays, the refusal of which deprives you of "leniency from above." How to be in this situation? Most likely, you just need to visit at least once such "gatherings", because every time you can not go somewhere or be always busy. In this case, it is important to follow the rule of the "golden mean" - both yours and ours.
Another version of such a relationship: "Say first" yes ", and then say" no. " Personally, I would not recommend you a similar outcome, unless if the result of the refusal were not force majeure. Having received your consent to something, a person builds his definite plans. Why should they spoil and lose the confidence of a friend, employee, business partner or acquaintance? ..
Draw conclusions
In life it is important to be able to build and establish harmonious relationships with other people. Ability to properly establish a "contact" guarantees you success in all directions: business and corporate, friendly, family, intimate. It is important not to forget about yourself, other people's interests should not prevail over yours if they do not coincide. Your desire should be on your side. And you can always say "no" if you do not want to say "yes," and your desires and interests will come first, without prejudice to the interests and desires of others.