It often happens: you are clever, beautiful, always charming, cheerful and sociable, but on the way you come across only male bastards. The latest bastards, which again and again make you disappointed in love. But time passes, wounds heal - and you again rush to meet with another bastard. What is the problem? So, the meeting on the topic "Smart beautiful lonely or why I'm not lucky."
Nature is wise and often gives people wonderful advice. Which we, unfortunately, most often miss the ears. It's a pity. You've been to the botanical garden and probably saw predatory tropical plants there. They lure the victim to a bright color and intoxicating aroma, and then entangle it with their leaves and branches. After that, the victim has only one thing - to perish.
Fortunately, people are not afraid of plant predators. We are trapped by other dangers. Same attractive at first glance, like the smell of a tropical flower, and as poisonous as its juice. And one of these dangers is called a "fatal man".
When the prince turns into a toad.
Many believe that falling in love with the ears of men with brutal appearance and manners of this macho is the privilege of young girls. But lawyers specializing in divorce cases argue that mature, successful women also often commit insanity for the sake of love. They, contrary to common sense, throw reliable, loving men and go to those whose reputation is not credible.
You can, of course, explain everything by hormonal explosion, sex. But more often in love networks of fatal men women fall romantic, tender, living a strained spiritual life. Often, ladies love to explain their actions by the fact that they finally met their fairy prince. His half. That until now their life was gray, boring. True, after some time the prince turned out to be an ordinary whore, a drunken drunkard or even a sadist. And the payment for a brief moment of happiness with a fatal man turns out to be prohibitive: disappointment, depression, broken fates and families.
But, even after going through all the circles of hell, some victims of such tragic love continue to assert that they regret nothing, that they could only experience such a heat of feelings with this fatal man. The question is, what are the love predators so stupefying their victims? And why some women have an inoculation against dangerous connections, while others now and then come the same rake.
At one psychological seminar devoted to communication problems, during the conversation it was found out that about ten women present came here with the same problem. All the present ladies were successful entrepreneurs. But, when they started their business in the 90's, they were very scared. Therefore, women attracted the co-founders of their beloved. Over time, business evolved. Women worked, and their partners got profits and did nothing or gave incompetent advice and instructions seriously interfering with the case. Some people drank. Others blackmailed their girlfriends with known secrets. Often a significant part of the money flowed into the purses of their mistresses. So you listen to bitter confessions and wonder: how did the hardened business ladies manage to make such a mistake in their personal lives?
What attracted us to dangerous men?
Like a carnivorous flower, attracting insects with its color and smell, a fatal man can charm women in a romantic way. He is armed with the image of a man who is knee-deep in the sea. At first glance, he is fearless, generous, mysterious and, of course, very sexy ...
Only after seeing a person, we can already accurately say whether we like it or not, the solution comes in seconds. And our nose takes it. Now it's fashionable to talk about special smells - pheromones, which supposedly have one in excess, so these lucky ones are considered very sexy. Those who can not boast of sexual charisma are offered to use perfumes with pheromones. In fact, adrenaline rushes in the blood of a dangerous man, because he is always ready to fight - whether it's a gateway or a stock exchange. And where adrenaline is, there is testosterone - the most attractive scent for women of the opposite sex.
Not surprisingly, in quiet domestic women, these macho act simply fascinating. Although not all men with brutal appearance have fighting qualities. And to the category of "dangerous" men, psychologists include not so much those who are balancing on the brink of the law, as many who irresponsibly behave with women - easily develops relationships, and then also easily tears them up.
Alphonse or a talented loafer?
While his friends work in the sweat of their bones and save every ruble they earn, he does not bother to worry much about himself anywhere. He travels on an expensive car, is fashionably dressed, knows a lot about expensive gifts and is always welcome at fashion parties. You ask, what can a normal successful woman like here?
And imagine for a moment that his beloved herself from the tribe of office workaholics, she knows how to work, but to rest ... Therefore, meeting with such a bright man for her will not go unnoticed. And the fact that he is a loafer, will become clear much later. But his art of hurling money at the feet of a beloved woman (giving expensive bouquets, driving to restaurants, making exquisite gifts) will leave a rare woman indifferent. And it does not matter, if soon his money runs out and shows up that he is in debt like in silks. To a person-holiday stayed with her, a woman in love will be happy to offer him his money.
The alliance, when it earns, and it spends, is very common now. And, strangely enough, such unions are very stable. Why? Because next to him, she first felt the spicy taste of freedom from everyday routine. Because he knows how to live in his own pleasure and instills in him the taste of life. Some women believe that such a science is worth paying for!
As a rule, fatal men know how to care. But even this is not the most fascinating for women. The decisive factor is that this type of lover never hesitates to talk about his feelings and love. An ordinary man will puff for a long time and suffer doubts: whether to talk about his feelings, and what will happen next, because he is not ready yet to undertake to marry.
But there are men who do not know such doubts. He knows that he does not intend to marry, but if this is the only way to conquer the heart of the coveted woman, he is ready to play by her rules. Therefore, on the first date he can safely say about his passionate love, and on the second - to make her an offer, and then ... generally stop answering her calls.
In general, while a woman likes him and the relationship is on the rise, it fully corresponds to the image of the "ideal lover", which is replicated in the movies and ladies' novels. It is this "ideality" that is the exotic scent on which its victims flock.
For the hundredth time on the same rake.
For the sake of justice, it must be said that not all are "dangerous links". There are women on whom the charms of fatal men do not work. But many not only systematically step on the same rake, but for a long time then they lick their wounds, unable to forget their fateful macho. On their sacramental question: "Why to me - smart, beautiful, lonely so unlucky?" - psychologists always recommend to think and understand who and for what they choose their partners.
Let me tell you a little about such a thing as "love scam". Its essence is simple. At the heart of any scam to withdraw money is one and the same feature of the human mind - the unwillingness to admit to being a loser. This is what scammers use, offering a naïve simpleton: "Put a ruble in - and you will win twice as much!" Approximately the same thing happens in love. Putting your soul, strength, nerves and years into an inappropriate person, you do not have the strength to part with it. All the time it seems, it is worth adding a little emotional awe to this hopeless project - and from the whole situation it will turn out something sensible and worthwhile ... But this does not happen! It is very important to gain strength, courage, to admit that the lost can not be returned, and start all over again. Life is rich, and there is enough joy in it for everyone!
Dangerous ties. How to avoid them?
1. Word and business. Do not judge a man from the first impression. Pay less attention to his words and more to actions. Remember: the image is nothing!
2. Be realistic. The classic reception of the hero-lover is to surprise the lady with a broad gesture, an expensive gift, a trip to a posh restaurant. Do not think that this will always be so.
3. Trust, but check! Do not rush to shift the burden of responsibility for your business and real estate to strong men's shoulders. It is very likely that you will only divide income, and work and problems will remain with you.
4. How to avoid relapse? If your novels end badly, and partners constantly deliver problems, do not rush to start a new relationship. It is better to go to a psychological seminar or consult an expert.
5. Do not hesitate to talk directly about your suspicions. Women are afraid to find out the relationship, to offend the partner with distrust. But the "good" guy will understand you, and the "bad" guy will decide that you can not fool your head.
7. Do not drive horses. Feelings are not bamboo, they will not germinate overnight. If in doubt, just wait. Time will put everything in its place.
8. Do not be afraid to be disappointed. If you are unlucky, and it turned out to be "wrong", leave and start safely first. Love is also work.