If we say that the other couple has something wrong, then we seem to emphasize that everything is fine. Although all this takes place on a subconscious level and it seems to us that we are doing it right, because another person is really making a mistake. But in reality it is not so. At least because all of us are prone to errors of attribution.
Today, there are many stereotypes about how to communicate between loved ones. We judge what is right for other people, and what is not. On the Internet today there are many "tips" on how to communicate with your loved one, how to behave in this or that situation. Conflicts of couples we often explain that one of them has behaved "wrong", because it was necessary to act quite differently. What do we mean by the correctness of behavior in a relationship? Are these rules true? What exactly are laws worth paying special attention to?
As we imagine it is represented
Everyone has a general idea of how a couple should look. These representations are based on gender stereotypes of the gender "a girl must be feminine and like shoes, and a guy should be a man and love sports." The totality of these stereotypes represents a plan of their own, according to which any couple in love should act. The way this is represented is for us a "correct" behavior pattern, and any other variations already seem to be a deviation from the norm. For example. the fact that the first step must always be done by the guy. Only a man in our presentation asks for a phone number, invites you to walk, and offers to get acquainted. If a girl does this, we begin to consider her as either man-like or very stupid and strange. This seems "wrong". In general stereotypes of rifts occur according to the scheme in which it is necessary to say a long confusing speech. "It's to blame, of course, I and everything should be different ... it's all wonderful, but ...", but if a girl suddenly tells the guy all straight and without a prolonged brainstorming, she will openly say his lack of desire and point out the inappropriate behavior ... she is already "wrong" and does not do well . And this guy will still be a long time to lead her slander against the enemy.
Our ideas about relationships, such as they must be, interfere with us. We often imagine the ideal scheme of relations ourselves, we think how everything should be and then be reconfirmed. And everything seems to be good, but that's just missing something. Anya grabs us a piece of our imagination, the implementation of the "plan", which was conceived a long time ago and in which everything is going right. We also interfere with our common stereotypes. They forbid us certain actions that can make us happy. Often we are afraid to be abnormal, not like everyone else, forgetting that relationships are a private matter for everyone. The "advice" of a friend of our relationship can make us doubt ourselves. After all, in the films that we see are all the same, it is correct and romantic. We begin to think: can we have something wrong?
Do not let stereotypes subordinate yourself, the correct scheme of communication in a pair is one that suits you and brings pleasure. Relationships should naturally evolve according to your desires and it does not matter what others think about it. Do you still care about this?
Intercultural communication
The way that loved ones have to communicate with each other is just them. Today, we are faced with various stereotypes and beliefs on this occasion. For example, a couple always has something to talk about and favorite people should not be silent. And that silence is a sign that something is wrong. There is a feeling that each of the partners should come on a date with a summary of the topics discussed. But the whole point is that if it's comfortable to remain silent - you need to remain silent. After all, if a couple does not experience the inability of their silence, and they like to "rest" on the contrary, will not there be a topo?
Many attitudes concern the duality of relations between men and women. For today, women are forgiven too much of their "cockroaches" and mistakes, writing off this for external reasons. Not only that a week of women are allowed to behave inappropriately and this is considered "normal", men are most likely to face stereotypes in terms of sex, behavior, etc. We rarely call women "maniacs" or preoccupied, they are less likely to attribute aggressive behavior, even when they give the same signs as men. If a man screams out the same phrases or behaves in a compromising manner, this puts a stigma on him. When a man whistles along the dearly beautiful girl and compliments her on the whole street, he is a maniac and an abnormal person. If the woman behaves in a similar way, she is a minx.
In the view of the majority of people, it is the woman who speaks with charming names, lisp, comes up with funny nicknames, behaves a little infantile and calls the man how he wants: a tart, a lapus, etc. If, on the wings of love, such a man says, it causes all-prevention. Socially, man and woman are faced with different injustices. This postpones the "seal" on our notion of how communication and attitude should be.
In fact
In fact, everything is pumped up by the fact that each of the partners is free to behave in an alliance as it likes, only two must regulate them. Relations between loved ones is a closed alliance in which there should not be room for common prejudices and stereotypes. Each of us from childhood is allowed some boundaries and imposed certain regulations that govern behavior. The attitude of two people is a completely new period in a person's life, a new autonomous unit in which only loving people decide what is right for them. After all, the whole point is to make each other happy and reach mutual understanding and support, overcoming everything, including common stereotypes.