There are no general rules that parents should learn about raising children, because they can not be suitable for all cases of life and any situations, such rules do not exist. All babies are different and each kid is individual, from appearance to character. However, there are still things that should not be used when raising any child. Now we will talk about what parents can not do.
So, what are the things that should be avoided when raising crumbs:
Do not humiliate your baby
Sometimes, without noticing it, not on purpose, we can say to the child: "You could not think of anything else? Why do you have a head on shoulder? "And all that sort of thing. And every time when a kid hears such things from us, his positive image collapses. Therefore, parents, remember that such things do not need to say any orderly circumstances.
Do not threaten a child
Many mothers and dads tell the child: "If you are again throne, I will ..." or "Or you will do now, what I have said to you or to myself!". Remember that whenever a child hears it, it's better that he does not treat you or fulfill your requests. You yourself teach your child to fear you and hate you. No threat can be useful to you, because the behavior of the baby can only worsen.
Do not demand promises
Often, even on the street or in the cinema, you can see how the child will do something, and my mother says: "Now, at the same time, promise me that you will never do this again," while the child, of course, promises. However, after half an hour the baby repeats what he promised never to do again. Parents are offended and upset, the beast promised. Remember that for a crumb the promise is like a hollow sound, he does not know what it is. After all, the promise is always intertwined with the future, and the children live only today and this moment, which occurs at this moment. If your child is too conscientious and sensitive, then your promises will develop a sense of guilt in him, and if he, on the contrary, is more despicable in relation to feelings, then you will develop cynicism yourself. After all, everyone knows that you can say anything, but do ...
Do not take care of the child too hard
If you will overprotect the child, then, over time, teach him to the idea that he himself is an empty place and can not do anything without your help. Many moms and dads disbelieve that the kid can do many things on his own, underestimated. Your motto should be the phrase: "Never do for the child what he can do on his own".
Do not require a child of urgent obedience
Just imagine that your husband says: "My dear, what are you doing there? Let's leave everything and immediately make me coffee! "Probably, they would be out of the shock of such an orderly tone. Similarly, the child does not like it when you demand that he urgently fulfill your request, leaving all his business, without a second of delay.
Do not indulge your child
Now we are talking about permissiveness. Children are very sensitive, so they immediately feel when their parents are too hard or, on the contrary, afraid to be tough. It's at such moments that children overstep the bounds of the permitted, and parents do not pay attention to it or are simply afraid to refuse their child. Thus, you instill in the child the certainty that there are exceptions in all the rules, so you just need to try a little, so that everything will be as they want.
Be consistent
For example, on Saturday you have a good mood and you yourself allow the baby to do everything that is forbidden to him or some specific things. But on Tuesday, when he starts doing what you allowed him on Saturday, you scold him and say that you can not do this. Here, put yourself in the place of crumbs. How can you learn to drive a car, if on Wednesday and Thursday on a red light you can not, but on other days you can?
Remember that children are not adults, so they need a sequence of decisions and actions.
Do not require from a toddler that does not match his age
Do not expect from his two-year-old child, that he was obedient as in five years, because in this way you can develop in him only dislike Xsebe, not good behavior.
It is not necessary to demand from the child a maturity of behavior, which he is not capable of, because this will have a bad effect on the development of his self-awareness.
Do not talk too much about morality.
We every day tell our child a thousand words of censure. If you just take and write down all the words that the baby hears for a day and let them listen to their parents, you can say one hundred percent that you will be amazed. What do not you tell your children! Rumble, some stories, lectures on morals, ridicule, threats ... The child simply "disconnects" under your verbal flow and his influence. This is the only way he can protect himself, so he quickly learns this way. Because the baby can not completely turn off, he begins to feel feelings, as a result, the child develops a negative self-esteem.
Do not take the foal right to remain a child
Just imagine for a minute that you have raised an excellent model of a child: he always respects adults and elderly people, never rebels, he can always be monitored everywhere, he is quiet and calm, does everything you ask him. He is deprived of any negative feelings - he is neat, conscientious, honest. Perhaps in such a situation we interact with small adults? Any psychologist will tell you that an "exemplary" child can not be happy. Because his "I" hidden under the shell, but inside you yourself have developed and built in it serious emotional problems.