Children are flowers of life, without which no one can consider himself fully valuable. At least so often they say. But if there is a situation in which a person can not have his children or does he simply have to accept another's child as his own? Will he be able to occupy as much space in the heart as his own child? Can a man fall in love with a foster child?
Responsible for
If you decide to take a foster child yourself, then you should be prepared for the fact that this little man needs to be raised as his own. It should be yours. This is what scares many. Chastovpominayutsya phrases that the blood is not water and only blood relatives are the closest. If you are frightened and embarrassed by this fact, then remember a lot of examples from the life and stories of people that surround each of us. How many fathers leave their children without even looking at them? How many mothers do not engage in their child, pushing on grandparents? How many brothers and sisters hate each other and try to do everything to portray life as a native person? But these are blood relatives. But on the other hand, we can see how people help absolutely foreign children, as the named brothers and sisters go hand in hand all their lives and never throw each other in difficult situations. All this says that blood is not the most important thing. If you love a person and feel that he is the most native, it does not matter, one blood flows in your veins or different. In the end, we choose husbands and wives not from blood relatives, but we call them family. Therefore, never be afraid of not being able to love a decent child. If you are ready for this, then love will come. On the contrary, it's even better, because you make this decision consciously, prepare yourself for it. Chaszchemamy, who give birth to children due to unplanned pregnancy, can not fall in love with their child. But those who responsibly went to this decision, love their kids more than anything else.
Simply if you are worried because of this, think again and again about your decision. Perhaps you are just yourself morally not ready to take a foster child. In this there is nothing to worry about. In order to raise children, you need to go to this morally. And if you have not yet felt this, do not let yourself be pressured. Many women who can not have children agree to take a foster child to satisfy her husband's wishes to have a full family. But they do it not because they themselves are ready to take on this responsibility, but because of the feeling of defectiveness and guilt before the husband. As a result, seeing in the foster child a confirmation of their inferiority, such women really can feel dislike and irritation towards him. So, if you want to have a happy family, take such a responsible decision based only on your feelings and desires. Do not let anyone lead you. If you yourself feel that you want to have a child, then you will definitely love it. It is important, he is a blood or a foster. No wonder they say that not the mother who was born, but the one who brought up. When you invest in it knowledge of the mind, when you see how it repeats words for you, copies the gestures, uses it, what you taught it, believe me, you will never come to mind that he is a foster. Raising children, we are so much starting to love them, that no one even thinks about questions of the native blood. Therefore, never expect to take a foster child. You will surely love it, because you yourself wanted it to be yours.
Male with child
A slightly different situation arises when a woman has to take the child of her loved one. Here it is impossible to say that this was originally her decision, because falling in love with a man, a woman hardly thinks about whether he has children. Therefore, the presence of a person in the hands of a loved one can become a surprise, both pleasant and not so.
In this case, first of all, you have to understand whether you love this man enough to spend your whole life with him. Remember that children are very attached to people and if you later part, for the music it will be stress. If you understand that you are not ready to accept a man as a child in your life, then your love for him is not strong enough. And in this there is nothing strange, because we love some more, and others less. Just do not lie to yourself.
If you feel that you really really love the guy and are ready to live with him for the rest of the day, then do not worry that you can not love his child. The fact is that all children are like their parents, if not outwardly, then by behavior. And often, and by, andrug. Therefore, you will even involuntarily be imbued with tenderness towards the baby, seeing that the kakon takes poses like dad, says it in words, copies and so on.
If the child is still small enough, fall in love with its simpler. Children feel the emotions of their parents very much. Therefore, if a man loves you, then the baby will also fall in love. And you will simply not be able to love him in return. When you communicate daily with a child, you observe how it grows, does something, learns something. When he comes, he hugs you with simplicity and says: "I love you", and you know that this love is sincere, real, genuine, in such moments it is not possible to reciprocate reciprocally. Therefore, if you are worried that you can not love a little child of your loved one - calm down. Even those who do not particularly like children, spending a lot of time with the baby of the closest person, absolutely start to love him, because he also becomes a native.
With older children, of course, the situation is more complex. Here already begins jealousy for your beloved father and the reluctance that strangers introduce their own rules into their father's life. Although there are times when even older children still want to have a real mother and are happy to take the woman into the family. But if the child is not very positive, this also does not mean that he can not love you, and you are his. In this case, you need to treat the son or daughter of your loved one as a new person in your life, which you need to know. And when we recognize someone, we see the positives of this person, for whom we can be respected and loved. Therefore, in any case, do not adjust yourself to the fact that you can not love this child. All at you will turn out. Just try to be patient and do not wait for your feelings to flare up and be mutual. Yes, indeed, with older children you need to "get used to" longer and look for approaches to them. But if you really want to find a common language with this child, then you will find. It's just that if you are a baby, you must be a mother, then a grown-up friend is a good friend.
And love is a feeling that comes, if you constantly communicate with a child, help him, if he trusts you. Therefore, getting into a similar situation, discard all sorts of fears, open your soul and let a little man into your heart. And believe me, very soon you will take what you once thought, as if you can not fall in love with it.