Another educational extreme is excessive severity with the child. In this case, the child is banned from almost everything. This develops in his character closedness, excessive modesty and painful shyness.
How to find the "golden mean" in raising a child?
Usually excessive love for the child is shown by grandmothers and grandfathers who ask crumbs toys and sweets. The kid knows that he can achieve everything from them with his whims, and the state of the demand becomes his usual state.
If a child is denied something, he begins to reproach his parents for not loving him, can cry, make a tantrum. In such a situation, it is necessary to explain to the child, as simply and easily as possible, the reason for the refusal, not humiliating him and not making excuses. That the kid has not turned to the dictator, it is necessary to give it clear to understand that the word of parents is the law, to argue with them and it is not good. It is necessary to ensure the parental authority as early as possible, so that the child later treats both parents with respect, so that your opinion is relevant to him.
It is not necessary to spoil relations with the baby. Many children understand adults if they correctly explain that their behavior is ugly. Encourage good actions of the child, accustom it to kindness, mercy, generosity. Such qualities, undoubtedly, most favorably affect the character of a small person. If a child early learns to share with peers sweets and toys, it will save him from many problems in communication in later life.
Do not practice another educational extreme. Some parents keep children in full submission and allow themselves in communication with them such phrases as: "Shut up!", "Do not climb!", "Leave!", "Go out!". This can not be done either, because such communication hurts the child's psyche. He begins to fear people, becomes isolated in himself, acquires a mass of complexes. Usually, kids who are brought up in such conditions begin to be unkind to their parents, to be afraid of them. We must understand that a child is a small person. Not all of his demands are meaningless and selfish.
In order to avoid the above two extremes of education, adhere to the following rules of conduct with children.
- Be attentive to all the requirements of the child. Distinguish his real needs and whims. Do not miss the ears of the baby's request.
- Stand firmly on your own, refusing to fulfill the caprice of the child. Only after realizing that he can not argue with the parent, the kid will calm down and realizes that if mom or dad said "no", then it means "no." If you notice success in the behavior of the baby, be sure to tell him this, thank him for it.
- Talk to your child more often. Tell him what it means to "behave yourself well" and what "to behave badly". Show him examples of the different behavior of other children on the street, in a shop, in a kindergarten. Very often such "living" examples of bad behavior have a great educational effect.
- Build a friendly relationship with the child. Become a friend to your child from an early age, because it will provide you with a good relationship and understanding in his teens, which is very important. Children do not like strict teachers, but they listen to every word of their older comrades.
Whom you will become for your child is up to you.