false mirror
Do you have the 48th size? "," What a breast this beauty has in the movies! "," Look, this girl has no cellulite on the beach! "(Any woman will immediately think up:" Not what you have "), "His wife is a real beauty" (a subtext that we see: "Not what you") ... Men are the main sources of our complexes. One wrong word, one delighted look in the other direction, and our self-esteem is rapidly moving towards negative indicators.
- What to do? To begin with, you need to figure out if you're trying to hear what is not really there. Men are primitive creatures (in the good sense of the word). And if they do not tell us directly: "You must lose weight," "I do not like that you have a small chest," or "You are so much older" - so they do not mean it. Reasoning on "How good Angelina Jolie" to real life is irrelevant. You, by the way, are also ruled by Brad Pitt and all pumped blondes in general. So what? This does not stop you from loving your husband ?!
It's another matter if your spouse hints at your imperfections. Well, firstly, he does not have the right to hurt you, and you just have to put it in place (questions like "Do not you like me?", "You mean I'm not your type? you married me? "surely will put him in a dead end). And secondly, his own words may hide his own complexes. He is jealous of you and especially belittles you in your own eyes. Strangely enough, but in this case you will have to convince him that he is perfection and you are delighted with him. You will see: you will immediately be transformed in his eyes.
In bed with the enemy
The intimate sphere is one of the most painful. Unconfident mistress is unlikely to be able to build an excellent career and become a harmonious person. Everything is interconnected here. That's why if your man allows himself statements such as "You do not excite me, because you are ugly, inexperienced, not passionate", "I do not want you", "I can not finish because of you" should make you seriously think. What to do? It is not necessary, after hearing one or another commentary of your husband about your abilities in bed, immediately look for the second and third volumes of Kamasutra and start "working on yourself." Ideal sex is not a set of physical exercises performed at the highest level. Much more important emotions, mood and a sense of unity. While your husband will allow himself to accuse you of your own or common failures in bed, there can not be any nearness to speech. Discuss with him your problems, explain how much you are hurt by his words, and try to find the cause (psychological or physiological) of sexual dissatisfaction. If this does not help, and your spouse will not stop making claims to you - most likely, you will have to take drastic measures. Complexes on the theme of sex are very harmful to women. And the best medicine will be another gentle, tactful, attentive and loving man.
Talents and fans
In 30 lots to change the profession? Do not even think of it ?! "," Are you offered to head the department? You will not make it! "Refuse!", "You only drive a car!" You can not figure it out with a phone! "," You do not have higher education at all! " So be silent! "Unfortunately, sometimes our men allow themselves such comments in our address. Following the imposed stereotypes, they consider us far less perfect, not too clever and hysterical.
- What to do? Do not listen to anyone, believe in yourself and go to your goal. If you are sure that you need these or those courses, a new job, a second education - where does someone else, even the most beloved and beloved husband, know that you will not succeed? However, the worst thing you can do is start a dispute that will probably end in a quarrel. 11e is to prove their case on elevated tones or try to prick the spouse in response. You must explain to your husband why it is important for you to go to work, to understand the instructions to the TV or to learn French. Phrases "I need your support." "I would like, that you believed in me", it is quite possible, will force your husband to reflect and change the opinion and a manner of conversation with you. It's unpleasant, when you always cut your wings. It is a fact. And you must voice it to your husband. Perhaps he is afraid that you will move away from him when you go to work or become more independent. Try to convince him that this will not happen.
In every joke
As you know, there is some truth. The same applies to your husband's unpleasant comments. Of course, do not take everything at face value. After all, the reasons for telling your muck to your husband may be a million (for example, he was spoiled by the mood, and he just pushes evil at you, or he tries to hold you back, or he takes a defense position and just responds to your attacks, not giving meaning to the essence of words). However, to exclude the fact that a real conflict can hide behind unpleasant statements of a partner, it is not worth it. Think, could you offend the spouse? Perhaps his attacks came after a major quarrel? Or after you pointed out to him his shortcomings, he decided to look at you more closely? In addition, try to analyze and admit yourself honestly whether there is at least a small amount of truth in his words. Maybe you really should become more responsible, do not throw yourself at trifles, or, for example, go on a diet and enroll in the gym. "If you feel that your husband's accusations are not in vain, thank him for paying attention to your shortcoming and asking for support (" Dear, help me organize myself, find a job, deal with the phone "). True, it is worth stipulating that you agree to accept his criticism only if it is expressed in a benevolent manner. Remember: you do not have to tolerate rudeness and insults. Even if, in fact, your husband is right. " On the other hand, if the husband's fault-finding is endless and touches literally everything (how you eat, how you move, how you talk), most likely you will have to seriously think about whether you need a partner who does not respect and, sadly ; He does not love you.
You must?
Men like to appeal to a sense of duty. And now we are already blamed for the unprepared dinner, meeting with friends and even the lack of sexual desire. However, offensive accusations, as a rule, hide some of the secret motives of a man. Do not complex if ... Your husband does not want you to attend the driving school, saying this is because you will not succeed. He's just afraid for you (or does not want to share a car). Your husband accuses you that you went to a meeting with classmates and did not cook dinner - he's just jealous of you. The husband says that the mini does not suit you and does not match your age - he is afraid that other men will pay attention to you. Your husband claims that you "broke up the mess" - he just does not want to get out himself and waits for you to do everything for him.