The main thing that should be remembered is the respectful attitude towards the child, as a full-fledged personality. Even the smallest child can not be regarded as a being that still does not understand anything. Children are much more understandable and sensitive than we sometimes think. Here are a few rules for dealing with the child and his upbringing, compiled by the world's leading teachers and psychologists.
1. Give your child lots of love and warmth. Make sure that he always knows that you love him. Do not hesitate to say aloud tender words, express your feelings honestly and openly.
2. Always put yourself in the shoes of a small child. Ask yourself what he really needs: the tenth doll or just your attention? If the child is constantly naughty, maybe there is another reason other than his "bad temper"?
3. Create a stable daily routine. It is very important. It should be made for the child from early childhood. Psychologists have proved that the regime of the day not only disciplines the child, but also calms him. The kid gets used to what will be waiting for him at one time or another. He looks calmly into the future, without nervous breakdowns and unnecessary stress.
4. Define clear boundaries. To properly educate a child, you need to explain to him what is good and what's bad. And do not just explain, but clearly adhere to this yourself. If you do something "not", then you can not always, and not from time to time. Be firm and consistent. This has a very beneficial effect on the child's psyche.
5. Establish rules that must not be violated under any circumstances. The child should know what can hurt him, which can offend or upset you, and he should not do it. Teach the child to bear responsibility for his actions. In life it is very useful.
6. Do not exaggerate with prohibitions. If you forbid something - explain. And do not overdo it with the word "impossible." For a small child, who constantly "can not" always closed the way to development. He will not improve and get stuck in his complexes. Give the child reasonable freedom of choice. Do not let it fall, but let me stumble.
7. Determine the consequences of the rule violation. It is very important. The child should understand what is waiting for him / her for not following the rules you specify. Always explain the reason for the punishment: "You did not remove the toys, so you will not watch cartoons today." Over time, the child will learn to understand the relationship between misdemeanor and punishment. He will begin to organize and educate himself.
8. Speak on the merits. The bottom line is that the child understands everything specifically. Therefore, if you want him to stop fooling, it's useless to lament: "You do not feel sorry for Mom! You so exhaust her with your behavior! "It's better to just say:" Do not shout, please. " It will be more effective and understandable.
9. Be assertive. Your child should know that "no" is your firm decision to ban something. If you once "give slack" - the child will feel your weakness and cease to obey. Further upbringing will be complicated, it will be difficult for you to regain your former authority.
10. Do not imitate whims. When a child tries to force you to do something - shout, cry, etc. - remain unperturbed. If you at least once follow his wishes - he learns that this is an effective method of influence and will do so more often.
11. You must be an authority for the child. The decisive word should always be yours. If you see that the child becomes irritable and tired, then you just say: "Time to sleep." No wrangling and whims in this case are inappropriate. The child will soon understand this and get used to it. He will feel a strong support in you, which will greatly help him in the future.
12. Do not be afraid of the child's anger. He has the right, you should not forbid him to express his feelings. And you must not shame him for tears. Sincerity and openness in the family - a pledge of a strong connection for life.
13. Always find time for the child. Do not dismiss it. Even if a minute, but he will know that you do not care. If you see that the child is concerned about something - pay attention to it. Cases will wait, and the child's trust can be lost forever.
14. The older the child, the more you need to communicate with him. Explain to the child the essence of things, speak with him on an equal footing. Answer his questions honestly, do not be ashamed of your incomprehension, do not condemn curiosity.
Two main mistakes of parents
Why do some people - mothers and fathers - in some cases turn a blind eye to the child's misconduct or, conversely, are too overbearing? This happens for many reasons.
Excessive softness
Such parents believe that such a "kind" attitude will ensure a happy life for the child. But there are others who simply do not know how to prohibit something to a small child. They do not want to look at a sad face or how a kid starts to cry when something is not allowed to him. Still others want to avoid mistakes made in due time by their powerful parents. They fall into the other extreme, providing the child with too much freedom in everything.
Excessive Authority
Most of the power parents raise their children the way they were raised by themselves. This type of parental behavior is transmitted from generation to generation and is rarely suppressed. Such adults are always sure that they know how to properly educate - a small child for them is something like a soldier who can simply be ordered and he will obey. In such families, children do listen to their parents, but rarely respect them. Although, we must admit that with such a model the connection is still closer than in the case of permissiveness.