Between the darling and the spoiled child there is a huge difference that is not taken into account when discussing upbringing. Pamper the child, being led by him on occasion, taking him all the whims from his hands, indulging his desires and asking him valuable things, toys - it's very simple. What can not be said about the dowager is a child to whom parents primarily give care, love, attention and affection.
Of course, dancers are also given gifts, but not because of their demands and moods, but without any excuse, and they can do many things, but again, it's not like parents want to redeem some kind of guilt or appease them. The spoiled child thinks that absolutely everything is allowed to him and he behaves like a king and God in his abode, and all because his parents started to fulfill all the whims and desires from the cradle. Often such children constantly arrange concerts of people in the form of tantrums, for example, in stores, when they require them to buy a toy or a chocolate that they liked, and their problem is that they do not want to understand and hear a refusal.
Determine the degree of spoiling the baby
Almost all the time, this happens unnoticed, almost from the very first weeks of the baby's life. Moms and dads because of the excessive love of the child try to make the life of the crumbs as best as possible, more comfortable, so they begin to fulfill all desires. That the child has not done, find him an excuse. For example, if parents leave with a child to play in the street and hit someone in the sandbox, then moms and dads start scolding him in public only for decency, while at the same time they are sure that their child is absolutely right and grows resolute and independent, in addition knows how to protect himself.
Often parents are so immersed in their work that they have absolutely no time for talking with children, so they start to fill them with toys, instead of taking a day off and spending the day at the attractions, in the water park or simply spending time with the child after spending the whole day with him at home . Together with that the baby grows up, the prices for toys grow, but he does not appreciate them anymore, because he has a lot of this good. The baby grows selfish, who can only love his whims, desires and himself.
If suddenly parents do not buy the ordered thing for the child, then he does not try to understand the reasons, because he always received what he wanted, why now he was refused? He is not going to understand the fact that there can be problems in the family with money, he just wants everything.
To keep in touch with the baby so as not to dilute him?
Many father's moms think that the baby will have a good memorable childhood, if he has beautiful clothes, tasty food and expensive toys. However, they do not think that it is important for the parents themselves, and not for the child. Witch one child does not think about how much it costs his clothes or sliders. They are in need of care and attention. His child needs to be taught to respect the desires of the rest of the people, moreover, he must understand that he can and does not have to, he should calmly treat the prohibitions and refusals. You do not need to buy off from the baby, he dreams of a joint campaign with you to the park, a trip to a picnic out-of-town or a trip to the circus. Boys should understand that you can not fight, you need to be able to stand up for your actions. Otherwise, you will be for your children only a source of money, and not loved by caring parents.
How to rehabilitate a spoiled child?
Psychologists argue that strict injunctions hurt the child's psyche. With this you can argue, but do not rush to extremes. If you fulfill all the desires of a hysterical child, then you allow him not to be considered as a comment of other people. The kid needs to understand what he is, but there are other people. He constantly needs to hear from you the words "you can not" and "you can", so you define the scope of what is allowed. Your task is to teach the baby to control his emotions, behavior, desires and react correctly to any situation.
The child should be refused and do not be afraid of it, just explain each reason for your refusal. Tell your child that you love him, but remember this or that situation, when he upset you, so you will not buy him this or that thing. A child should feel your love in any situation, but he must figure out how he should behave in order to be a good boy or girl.
Remember that you should keep your tactics. If you today refused the child, and tomorrow buy him what he asks, then the kid will understand that with the help of hysterics you can be pressed on you. Do not give up, on any pretext, do not give in to him.
Probably, you had a situation when a child in the store falls to the floor and wants to buy something? Of course, you become embarrassed and ashamed, so you quickly buy what you want and leave the store. Gradually, the child understands that this acts on you and begins to practice it at home and in other places. At this time, you need to explain to the child that you will only start talking with him when he rises from the floor and comes to himself. The baby keeps an eye on your reaction all the time. If he sees that you are not indifferent to his antics, then he will immediately understand that this does not work for you in a moment of calm.
How will a spoiled child grow up?
When he finds himself in adulthood, he will be scared, heavily iodine. Because he used to get everything one click, he does not know what labor is and getting money. He does not have friends, because he is sure that he is the best. People may not notice that he is the very-very, and this hurts his self-esteem and moreover, will cause a warm up. Understand that since you pray to him, you will not be molested by others, because of this it will be difficult for him to communicate with other people, to study and work. After all, you will only teach him how to take it, but in return you will not give it away.
The parents' love is blind and it's terrible for the baby. When a child leaves an Isotcov house, he can become altogether uncontrollable. And when he has a family, he will not be able to fulfill his duties, because most important for non-proprietary interests and desires. In such a family there will be no happiness and harmony. Therefore, you must teach the child to respect others, be able to love and give love to others, spoil it in moderation and direct your love in the right direction.