Love, a feeling that can inspire, bring happiness, for some women turns into torture, slavery, from which it is impossible to get out. Every time they fall in love "deadly". And in a person who is either unavailable - married, famous, cold and indifferent to everything, or to someone who has some kind of addiction - from alcohol, sex, games. When he moves away, the woman experiences fear, spiritual pain, loneliness. And she is ready to go to any humiliation, just to keep him ...
Thirst for heat
Women, unfortunately, do not always know how to stop depending on love for a man. Of course, not every one of them is threatening to fall in love with a person who is not at all suitable for this. In many respects it depends on which family she grew up in. As a rule, the girl has not received enough warmth and tenderness from her parents and therefore now she is doomed all her life to seek these feelings. Such a woman either begs for love from a man, or tries to satisfy her need indirectly - becoming tender and caring towards someone who does not need it at all.
Kabbalah of stereotypes
However, not only personal problems lead a woman into love slavery and are forced to depend on the love of a man. In our society, there are stereotypes that extol love and suffering.
Stamp number 1. A heroine with a complex
Wives of the Decembrists, Sonia Marmeladova, Turgenev girls ... Their images from the school bench are presented as ideal. And what did these heroines do? They sacrificed their lives for the sake of men. That is, it seems that the fate of a woman is of no special value, only if she is thrown at the feet of a loved one ...
In fact, this dubious heroism is based on a feeling of immense self-doubt. In the depths of the soul, such a woman thinks that she is not worthy of happiness "just like that." She is sure that she must earn, win it.
Stamp number 2. "She fell in love with him ..."
Suffering in the name of love is romanticized in our culture. It is believed that the more suffering you suffer, the more you will prove the depth of your feelings. That this positive feeling, capable of giving a person strength, inspiration, making happy, is said little or very sluggishly. And about stopping to depend on your feelings - even there is no question.
Stamp number 3. Love for want
One more stereotype: "It is necessary that you need someone". It does not matter who: husband, child, parents or even a cat. A woman can feel full-fledged only if she is with someone who needs her attention. Some women reach that normally feel themselves only in extreme circumstances.
Stamp number 4. Become so ...
There is an attitude that with the help of love you can change a person. And since we are not looking for easy ways, then as an object for transformation we choose the one who will turn our life into a nightmare. The woman is sure that when her lover (alcoholic, player, donjuan) changes, they will be incredibly happy together. Only this bright day and can not wait.
The mechanism of passion
Dependence on love is almost as harmful as dependence on drugs and alcohol. In any case, the mechanism is the same. Having ceased to depend on love for a man, a woman feels a real "breaking". After all, passion causes a long and strong excitation of the nervous system. Since there are no other pleasures for a woman, she wants more and more love. And no one can satisfy this thirst. When a man leaves her, she seeks a new stimulation - a difficult, painful relationship. And so - until the complete exhaustion of the nervous system.
"He is my drug"
Your attitude towards a man became a disease if:
• Dreading his departure, you will do everything to keep him near; you are ready to wait and hope for his love for years;
• dreams of how everything will be fine, when it changes or circumstances, is more important to you than real relationships;
• If there is a conflict between you, you tend to blame only yourself;
• you have incredible sex with him, but bad relationships outside the bed;
• except for him, nothing in life gives you much pleasure;
• you are not attracted by kind, reliable, responsible, caring men.
6 Steps to Release
If you feel that your relationship to a loved one is becoming painful, try to change the situation as soon as possible.
1. Admit to yourself that you are addicted to suffering and unhealthy relationships with a man.
2. Try to understand that attempts to change a man to anything good will not.
3. Direct all forces on your recovery - learn to appreciate and protect your well-being.
4. During the day, note all the positive emotions that are not related to your man.
5. Study and develop your personal needs: travel, learn, change work.
6. Become selfish: place your desires, your plans, your needs in the foreground.