Second marriage: can a man change at the birth of a child?

"Second marriage: can a man change at the birth of a child?" - many ask this question, because it happens that a man treated his wife badly, his marriage collapsed, his feelings were not strong, and his behavior was far from knowing the best. Sometimes we wonder what will happen to such a person? He will remain sloven to the end of his life, all his marriages will be such or he will not want to marry any more? On what factors does his choice depend? What will happen to him if he chooses another, a real marriage, and at the same time he will have a child. Will the man remain the same or is there a chance that he will change for the better?

The fact that a guy can think better when a child is born, having a second marriage, depends on many circumstances: from the man himself, his character, values, the direction of his personality and priorities, attitudes toward his wife, his attitude. Here the attitude to his wife will play a special role. If the first marriage to a man is bad for her for the reason that he married by mistake and did not feel true love for her, then in the second marriage a man is likely to change his behavior for the better. That is, an attitude towards a woman can change everything that also depends on her character, exactingness. There are women who seem to allow a man to do whatever they want, to treat a woman badly, not to fulfill their duties. Weak spirit women of this type will all forgive her husband, do all the work for him, do not pay attention to his small errors. If a man has a tendency to such behavior, he will use this opportunity and only increase his self-will. But if a man immediately realizes that a woman to some extent controls him and limits his bad habits, does not allow such behavior towards himself, then the husband who is afraid of losing his wife will agree with her rules that will regulate his behavior and establish new norms.

Then, can a man change, depends on what exactly you want to change in him? Himself, his values ​​or behavior, bad habits? There are things that can be fixed, which you even need to correct. Ask yourself the question that you are not comfortable with a man and what category your requirements are. If it concerns the character of the husband, his formed personality, then it is almost impossible to change it with the birth of the child, or with the appearance of a new loving wife. This is already a mature personality, which has its own character, norms of behavior, values. If you love your husband, but you are annoyed by some of his character traits, think about whether this is really love? If we love a person, then we learn to take it whole, such as it is. If his character hinders you, irritates him - tell him about it, hint at the shortcomings in his personality, and if a man loves and understands you, he will try to correct them, regulate in your presence. Correct your speech with the help of "I - messages", express what you feel and what exactly you want to convey to your husband. In most cases, with some character traits, it is worth reconciling, and the birth of the child can both soften some, and, conversely, involve other characteristics of the character, such as irritability.

If a man is a tyrant and a sadist by nature, his potential changes are even more serious, then such experiments are almost impossible, even if such a person will have a new family, a loving wife and child. This behavior can speak of both a mental illness and a type of character formed from childhood. For example, if the father of a man was a sadist and raised his son in such cruel and tense conditions, or maybe the father simply showed violence to the boy, there is a possibility that the person will copy the motives of the behavior of one of the parents and in the future will repeat his methods and actions.

In this case, the birth of a child will not change a man, on the contrary, it can manifest those old forms and norms of behavior that are embedded in his mind.

But there are times when a man can and should be changed, push to a decision. Such, for example, are bad habits, the use of light narcotic substances and others. For the sample, take alcoholism as a disease that appeared at the first and began to manifest itself with the second wife. Is it possible to change such a person? An important factor here is also the attitude of a person to himself and his problem if he is strong and ready to deal with this problem if he sees that this is causing you pain. And that's why he wants to change, even it's hard for him, but he will take the first step on the way to victory, and that already means a lot. No matter how hard it is, but a person makes attempts, and you can already push him to it. The best option is cooperation with a psychologist, if a man has a desire, then he really will succeed, he will change and cope with his problem for you and the future child. Especially his birth is already an occasion to change, to reach a new level in life, to get rid of bad habits and qualities, so that they do not affect the child. Before his birth, you need to settle all the problems, deal with yourself and establish the right level of relationship with his wife. All this can force a husband to change for the better, achieve his goals.

So, answering the question: staying in a second marriage, whether a man can change after the birth of a child, we say so. Maybe, but everything depends on both the wife and the man himself, on the circumstances and the purpose. To change a person is quite an abstract and difficult topic, sometimes there are things that we can not change, or the man himself does not want it. But bad habits or qualities that can harm the psyche and the nature of the child can be corrected for the better. Talk to the husband, explain to him your desire and discontent, rationally interpret why it is necessary for him to change in this or that case. Hope that he will understand and listen to you, will never disappear, while he loves you and treats you well. In the fight against alcohol or cigarette addiction, do not lose hope and help your husband to change. Thus, you will help the health of your family.