Service romance - myths and reality


He sits at the next table and he has such blue eyes ... You are simply fascinated by how resolutely he uses a punch with an impressive stack of papers. And his way of "balancing" clients for the most incredible contracts you generally delighted. And most importantly, he sympathizes with you and frankly shows his interest, paying no attention either to the arrogant Ines-bitch, nor to the fact that you do not look every day like a princess incognito. Tempting, tempting ... Stop! A novel at work ?! And if everyone finds out? .. And if it affects the relationship with the authorities and the team? .. Well, if everything goes well? If this is my chance? Textbooks on psychology and official ethics menacingly "frown": "No official novels!", And the heart asks: "Well, maybe we'll try? And suddenly? .. "Yeah, a dilemma. The theme is as old as the world: a service novel - myths and reality. Well, it's nothing to worry about ...

ON ONE STEP.

You are colleagues and are on the same official level - well, in any case, not far from each other, and neither of you is subject to the other does not depend on him. I must admit that this version of the service novel is the most viable, this is the case when everything can really turn out, with a good scenario, of course. But even here there are those

"Underwater reefs": First, even with the favorable development of relations, your novel will be absolutely in the public eye. You quarrel - everyone will know about it, you will move to live with your loved one - and again everyone will be aware of it. If you are a closed person and do not like to share the people hidden in crowds, then this state of affairs will probably strain you a lot. Secondly, it's not a secret for anyone that loving people need to rest from each other - what kind of rest, when you are together from morning till ... the next morning? At home, at work, at lunch time ... Are you sure that your relationship will endure this? And, thirdly, if you part ways, you will have to do it all at the very least: watching the "ex-" (floundering, for example, on the phone with a new mistress) for a whole day, is not a test for the faint-hearted. Yes, and parting your will be a "hot" topic of the day for the next month, or even more ...

PRINCE ON WHITE LIMOUSINE.

This is the ideal name for the textbook case: a chef's novel with a subordinate. The variant described in female novels and anecdotes. Nevertheless, the option is very attractive, at first glance. After all, apart from a successful man "in the kit", an adultery will be accompanied by promotion, salary increase or other privileges favorable to the woman's heart. But the unpleasant consequences of becoming worthy of the novel with the chief ...

"Underwater reefs": As long as everything goes well with you, there will be no problems, except, perhaps, the envy of the surrounding and tarnished reputation. Because from the outside you will look like a hunter for money and privileges. Perhaps you have a bad relationship with your colleagues. But the main "bouquet" of troubles awaits you in case of the collapse of your misalliance. The work will surely have to be changed - and it's good if it all passes painlessly and more or less peacefully, and if you work in a narrow sphere where everyone knows each other, then you will have a hard time in your new job - again because of rumors.

IF THE CHEF IS YOU.

The situation is the reverse of the previous one: your beloved is much lower than you on the career ladder or, even worse, is in your direct submission. This scenario is quite rare, but if something like this happened to you, keep the signal "Beware!" In your head, because ...

"Underwater Reefs": This is a difficult case, because troubles can lie in wait for you in the most unexpected aspects of a relationship. Well, to begin with, you need to say that a man can meet with you exclusively for mercenary motives, and in such cases the strong sex plays "big": it is unlikely that he will pozaritsya on the increased salary or laurels of the seducer "Shefini". Do not console yourself with such thoughts. It is possible that he needs your post or even more - depending on which post you occupy. On the other hand, the people's rumor in this case also does not spare you: if a subordinate twists the affair with the chef, they condemn the woman: if on the contrary, they still condemn the woman! When your relationship is over, you will face a dilemma: to fire the former lover or not? And believe me - this will be a difficult task, and the consequences of your decision will be very diverse depending on how you parted and what kind of person was with you near: from revenge on his part to the conscience of conscience - with yours.

ONLY THE PLACE OF THE MEETING?

Like the very first case, this one may well end happily, because an affair with a client of the enterprise or firm in which you work is only a half-service novel. In fact, at work, only your first meeting occurs, and the rest of the relationship can be completely taken "beyond" - this is the main rule of such a novel.

"Underwater Reefs": yes, they are here. First, if you do not take your personal relationships with the client on time out of the workplace in time, then there are great chances that in the eyes of your superiors you will look like a fussy woman who is engaged in something incomprehensible than during work. Secondly, if the person with whom you started to meet has a "weight" and influence in his sphere, then, in case something goes wrong, it may well spoil your reputation or worsen your position in the firm. Well, and then, it's not easy to carry out your duties well, when your activity is completely connected to the person with whom you have an affair.

WELL THAT WELL COMES BETTER.

What does this mean? That the service romance has no right to life, and you need to stick to the last, clenching your teeth, even if every day you are simply eaten by a glance clever and handsome - almost Richard Gere in the flesh - at the next table? Of course, no - no one needs victims, but if on your horizon there is a possibility of a novel in the workplace, consider all the "underwater reefs" and work out the correct tactics of behavior that will help you build really good relations, and in case of a break - leave with " battlefields "without fatal wounds!

If the person you like is not "insanely", but only "a little", then it is better to refuse an official novel: in that case, there is simply no need to risk your work for the sake of what will not bring you special joy. And boredom can be dispelled in other ways.

In any of these cases, take an example with the most persistent partisans: be silent! Ideally, if you can keep your novel secret (but it's rare, "word of mouth" usually works on conscience), but if it does not work, at least try not to give any information to others about what is happening to your relationship. Do not share even with intimate friends with different intimate details, do not tell spicy and revealing stories about your beloved, do not ask for advice, no matter how much you want it. Remember that you are all in the same "aquarium", so everything that you say will sooner or later reach your lover in a distorted form - and this is unlikely to make him happy. In addition, silence is the only way to keep your relationship "for yourself," without exposing them in detail for public viewing.

Try as little as possible to contact your loved one at work. In breaks, drink tea with colleagues, go to lunch with them on lunch break (even if you do not really need it). Do not wipe out each other's workplaces, and even more so do not arrange love scenes (like quarrels and "squeezing" in the corners) for fun to the public. This is for sure you do not need. This measure is more useful than it seems: on the one hand, you will not irritate your colleagues with your "novel on display" and will excite gossip less, and on the other, you will not bother the loved one, push him with your eternal presence.

Well, and most importantly - at last. The service romance usually involves - albeit indirectly - many more people than in any other. Plus, he can influence your work, your career, your earnings, etc. What follows from this? And the fact that if you happen to have "love in the workplace", be as cautious, tactful and subtle in everything. Think about every word and action, avoid conflicts, do not get excited and behave with dignity. And then you will definitely win!