Probably, you need to immediately agree on terminology. To the question "my - a stranger" can be approached from different positions: social, psychological, sexual. We can assume that all men - a draw, you can all "former" consider their own. It often happens that a man lives with one, meets (intimately) on the other, but truly loves the third. And whose is it then?
Relations
Let's agree, after all, to consider strangers men who have an official woman: wife, girlfriend, cohabitant. And let's talk about how to deal with them in different situations. First, and immediately: when we meet on our way a "strange" man, we need to decide on our own desires and plans. Psychologists say that for a woman - it's 6-10 seconds. After these few moments she already knows (at least deep down) that she will have this particular man, or, at least, what she wants from him. Well, very good, because they, men, just for a very long time with this can not be determined. Sometimes they take years to realize that it was this meeting that was fateful, and with this woman he is ready to live the rest of his life. So, we take everything in our hands.
To begin with, consider a few standard layouts, when a foreign man is interested in us, and we categorically do not want to take everything beyond the framework of platonic relations.
The situation of the boss-subordinate (dependent relations)
Very often, male bosses subconsciously perceive the female part of the collective as a kind of potential harem ("they are all mine, what I want, I will take this and I will not deny it"). A man may be deterred by the fear of publicity, the reaction of his wife, his superiors, or the lack of interest in the female sex in general or in particular. But if the boss "fires", then you need to be especially cautious - because you, do not want to quit because of his passions!
Strategy: Platonic love
There is nothing better in such a situation as a sincere, open, pure love for the authorities (it will flatter him), the manifestations of which are limited by your upbringing and circumstances (his marriage).
Tactics: misunderstanding, "what exactly does he mean"
You will have to play the role of a pure naive fool, who at first does not understand what the man is driving at (in most cases they leave this possibility to us, because deep down they are very afraid of being rejected and do not want to take responsibility even for fleeting relationships). If you have been directly explained everything, you will have to be astonished, wring your hands and do everything in your way that you can not:
a) start a service romance;
b) start it with a married man.
Although in this case people are on equal footing, the situation from this does not become simpler at all. After all, it is necessary to maintain good business relations, constructive conditions in the team. Keep a distance in love or lusting colleague is not easier than the boss.
Strategy: emphasize the value of those relationships that already exist; suggest that this is not worth the risk. With a colleague or business partner is best not even to be friends, but just to be friends: to go to dinner, to drink coffee. And, of course, closely cooperate - joint creativity also gives a sense of intimacy, sometimes even more valuable than sexual contact.
Situation: a close friend of a beloved man
The situation is quite dangerous, because here comes into play already male rivalry. And you somehow have to turn between two fires: you should not arouse suspicions of a loved one and at the same time like a woman to his best friend, because his approval or condemnation for your man is not indifferent.
Strategy: easy coquetry, not turning into flirting.
This line of behavior warms the soul, flatteres the self-esteem of men, and these two feelings may well replace an unrealized passion.
Beloved husband of his beloved friend
This, perhaps, is the most unpleasant of situations. On the one hand, she flattered vanity (he has the best of women - your girlfriend, and he's drawn to you!), On the other - threatens to destroy not just valuable, but very expensive relationship with a friend, and at the same time and her life. And here it is important not only, and not so competently reject the man and at the same time stay with him in good relations (you will have to communicate anyway), but also keep everything secret, so that the third party does not guess. This is sometimes especially difficult, because the wife knows both of you well. And also because it is tempting to reveal everything to her so that she knows which snake has warmed her on the chest. Do not do this.
Strategy: turn into like-minded people, switch "object" to friendly relations.
Saving everything can only real friendship between you and the beloved man of your girlfriend. It's very good if you have common interests with her husband. This will enable him to enjoy communication without crossing boundaries. By the way, sincere intimacy in this version is real - you, well, will understand each other, because not for nothing that you are both so close to the same woman.
There are situations, however, which are exactly the opposite: we fell in love with him at first sight, we froze, trembling, and he - a married boss, a colleague at work, a friend's brother, a neighbor in the country - is building his eyes, and he does not dare to take the first step himself . The reason for this is already existing commitments, timidity. This is where the moment comes when we must again think about whether we will take a man or just flirt with him. And only if you really need a man and, besides, he is internally ready to risk his marital status, you should take the following methods of conducting a "war".
If the relationship in the family is really good, if everything is right and stable in the pair, the man will not leave his wife anywhere, and, most likely, he will not risk entering into a dubious relationship with you. So, on the one hand, you can not suffer from remorse and not think that you are trying to build your happiness on someone else's misfortune. And on the other hand, you should be aware of how much you risk being rejected. So, to begin with, understand, whether his marriage is as fragile as you want to think.
Recently, it is precisely this tactic that becomes very popular with single women: she chose herself, put her to bed, married herself. At the same time I bought presents from myself (in extreme cases - I dragged her through the sleeve to the store and jabbed her finger: "I want this ring with a diamond and this bag").
Not everyone likes it, but it works well for the type of men "bull-on-the-rope", which needs to be controlled by a woman - by and large, almost anyway.
"Bull on a string" can then you in the same way lead away - a younger and more aggressive.
It has long been known that this is the best way to attack. The main message: "Oh, I'm so weak and helpless, I need a strong man next to him who would protect, support, help, but not him." Really, really, no, dear? ". That our strength is in our weakness, Shakespeare said long ago. And we believe him. Moreover, life constantly proves his rightness.
This tactic works almost always, even with infantile men - after all, who is not pleased to feel strong, almost all-powerful.
As long as possible, do not let the man understand that you really want to marry him. He must first "get involved" in the process of your eternal salvation and understand that you will simply disappear without him.
This game is almost always on an equal footing . It is interesting to men strong, independent, appreciating humor and drive, loving intelligent and strong women.
I will say at once - these representatives of the stronger sex is not much. And this method of conquering their location is the most difficult, it requires constant maintenance of the tone, you need to be alert all the time. If you do not feel the strength to constantly play, do not even start. Success to a large extent depends on how much the game is able to diversify his current girlfriend and how much you are a better player than she is.
Do not get carried away with the desire for absolute victory, you must always remain slightly weaker, always lose the last position in a positional war, otherwise you will lose it seriously - it will simply frighten your strength. But at the same time he should not feel that you are playing with him in giveaway.
From the physiological point of view - a man "belongs" to the woman with whom he has a full sexual contact, which it excites and satisfies. A woman who has regular contact with a man - in any case, his wife - regardless of the presence of a stamp in the passport or the fact of running a joint farm on the other. If, moreover, there are no sexual relations with the official wife, or they happen extremely rarely and do not give satisfaction, then that, the other, turns out to be the only real woman, the real wife. If a man communicates in bed alternately with one or the other, in terms of physiology - he is a polygamist.
Women who have married, often relax and calm down - all, the goal is achieved, "now he is mine." However, the man, no matter how much he was in love with the registry office, after marriage, too, relaxes. Over time, he begins to relate to his wife at best as a concubine (a man with whom you share your shelter and life), at worst - as comfortable (or uncomfortable) slippers. You can avoid this only in one way: never in your thoughts and feelings do not translate your beloved man to the category of "husband". And we need to remember: a man always ends up with a woman who is capable of really strong emotional reactions, including in bed.