We all want an understanding, a trusting relationship. Success alone, which even no one to share - this is the most bitter "sweetie" that only a person can get. A grief that no one has to pour is the heaviest burden. That is why close and friendly relations between people are so appreciated.
But in the pursuit of friendly and intimate relationships, you can and suffer - between people there are other relationships that just masquerade as "close". Friends, friends and girlfriends, fellow snakes - anything can happen.
And sometimes even the most archenemy can rejoice at your grief so that a person will receive support or a long-awaited "kick" to get out of the situation. At the same time, a close friend with whom you are familiar from childhood - do not give that warmth and support that is so necessary ...
With whom to build?
Relations, oddly enough, it is build. Gradually and systematically. Of course, it sounds a bit eerie - to "build", to calculate, when the result should be close and friendly relations between people. But in fact, there is nothing unnatural in this - we somehow create a circle of communication, let one person communicate with us and avoid others.
Our expectations
Get in the relationship is exactly what we need - it would seem, there is nothing easier. However, we need every day (and even an hour) different. Namely:
- support
- approval of our actions
- care
- timely "kick"
- comfort
- interest in us
- our interest in another person
- new information
- unusual pastime.
To build close and friendly relations between people is a whole science. With whom should we communicate, and with whom, on the contrary, we need to "keep our eyes open"? Let's try to walk through the main categories of acquaintances from which you can replenish
Colleagues. We try to maintain close and friendly relations with them, but between people at work, relations are most often produced by production rather than by warm ones. As soon as the share of "warmth" and cozy "gatherings" for tea and coffee will be greater than the solution of production issues - the company can both dismiss negligent worker-talkers, and in general cease to exist.
Native. Unfortunately, there are rare cases when close and friendly relations are established between people who are related by blood. They fantasize about the "who he should be" not only moms and dads, but also nephews, aunts, grandmothers and grandchildren ... And only occasionally God gives wisdom to blood relatives to take the beloved tribe by the person he is, and not through prism of their own ideas. And there, where fantasies substitute for reality, by and large, about close or friendly relations it does not go.
Random acquaintances. Funny fellow travelers and just sociable people meet quite often. A joint trip to rest, accommodation in the hotel's adjacent rooms, a long transfer on the intercity bus or on the train, and even - all this is a good reason for meeting. And yet, do not be upset that in some conditions you managed to have an interesting conversation, but in others - no. At home, in a relaxed and relaxed environment, you may not want to continue the acquaintance. Interest in fellow travelers is dying out in direct proportion to the distance remaining to their native city - and this is normal. However, in any rule there is a place for pleasant, but unexpected exceptions.
Friends of friends. This category of friends is very prolific for unusual acquaintances. In a general circle, you, first, quite naturally get to know new people, and secondly - you can choose from a large number of people who you really are interested in. And with such people just close, warm relations of mutual aid and understanding can be fastened. Our friends sometimes know us too closely and not on the best side. A new friend in this respect is better than the old two. He has not yet heard your "branded" jokes and did not try the "proprietary" dish. Like you - not too aware of his life, past, cases. And this is a good reason for joint "gatherings" for tea and talking tete-a-tete!
Friends of childhood. Unfortunately, we are not just growing - we are changing. With age, new interests, habits, and ideas about life change. So, the relationship with Masha from the kindergarten №123 can both continue, but in its channel, and stop "as unnecessary." After all, if the purpose and the basis for the existence of such relations is to recall the old times from time to time, you will also want to meet once a year. And no relationship can not be warm, friendly and full, if more than you do not unite.
All the friends are good - choose the taste!
All friends are divided into former and future friends and friends. Therefore, long dealing with a person, sooner or later have to choose. Either the relationship remains "as is" - for example, friendly, superficial, or break off. Or, if there are any points of contact, you can transfer them to the category of close and friendly. Of course, most likely you will have to work, noticing and in time smoothing out "sharp corners", being interesting yourself and sincerely interested in the person.
On the other hand, letting things go on their own, it's very easy to get girlfriends-cunning chanterelles and girlfriends-megers. But you can not build real close relations with them ...