The first time you have everything is fine. But there comes a point when you notice that the husband has become increasingly drunk. A woman rushes to save her family. Impressive efforts are made to return the former beloved person. If a woman is strong and self-confident, she does not doubt that she has enough strength to overcome this ailment. She with a head gives all herself for the benefit of her husband - constantly cared for, trying to force his character to direct him to the right path. In the end, comes to the state of squeezed lemon. Because the force of action is equal to the force of opposition, everything becomes worse. Soft and quiet wife will patiently bear all the suffering, blaming herself for everything, and from this endlessly regretting her husband. But anyone, even the angelic patience, comes to an end. You begin to realize that you can not return the past, but where can you find the strength to get a divorce from an alcoholic?
The power is in you. Try to calmly understand yourself, in your attitude to this once-close person. Alcoholism is a disease. In people with alcoholism, consciousness differs from a healthy person. He becomes very selfish, capricious, constantly breaks down on others. But, here after all in what a problem - the woman, at first not understanding, that occurs, starts to concern to the husband as to the sick whimsical child . The maternal instinct inherent in each of us at the genetic level does not allow us to abandon the unhappy, hangover-hungry creature. There is a hope that it is still possible to correct, he will recover.
How long does it take? Month? Year? Understand, while a person himself does not realize that he is an alcoholic and does not want to quit - nothing will come of it. Next to you is an adult man, not a sick child. Stop wasting your precious energy on him! It's not so easy to find the strength to get a divorce from an alcoholic. Often, the burden of lived years. It's a waste of time and effort.
Take a look around. What will you lose if you radically change your life? There are so many great opportunities and unrealized, albeit small, desires ahead! If you direct your forces to another channel, life will shine with new colors.
The habit of suffering and feeling of sacrifice are the two main and heavy motivations that prevent you from breaking with the past. Alcoholics are akin to vampires. You yourself will not notice how you will give all your energy to this person. A return?
Look in the mirror. Remember yourself before marriage. You think that everything is lost, it's too late to start all over again, life has passed. All these are erroneous judgments. Breathe in full, think about what you want most of all in the world, you'll be sure - enough power. It will only take a little timeout.
Be divorced with an alcoholic or carry this load on and on, each decides for itself. But if you decide to find strength and file for divorce - do not stop. The alcoholic feels like an offended child. He will try to dissuade you from getting a divorce. Your business is to give him one more chance or to stand on his own. But, as a rule, having held out for a while without alcohol, it all starts again, sooner or later. This person knows your weaknesses, he knows how you can be moved to avoid being alone. Otherwise, who will be the spectator of his performances, who will pity him, take care of health? Only with each time you will find it increasingly difficult and difficult to retreat after his next binge. Pity, finally, and myself, and children.
Remember - you are the mistress of your life, and only on you depends on what you spend it! Relax morally and physically, look around, breathe a fresh wind of changes without the fumes of fumes. Put yourself in order, learn to love yourself. It's very pleasant to take care of yourself. Take care of children. With her husband-alcoholics, you probably did not even notice the children? It will take some time, and you do not even remember that once they lived very differently. Do not just hold the evil and hurt that person. This again takes a lot of energy. Do not listen to the gossip that a woman is to blame for her husband's sins. You are not guilty of anything! Realize it! Live, enjoy life, and do not make more of these mistakes.