Not so long ago, studies of relationships in modern families revealed a frightening tendency: the husband and wife practically stopped talking - the net time of their communication for a day is 10-12 minutes. Why is this happening?
Everyone runs, runs, runs ...
The mad pace of life, when each spouse is faced with alternate tasks, the solution of which can not be postponed until later, gigabytes of new information appear that need to be recycled and learned, there is a need to communicate with the necessary but not always interesting people, to behave in accordance with the status ... All this leads to the fact that today's relations between men and women in the family can not withstand the onslaught of life in megacities.
In search of a kindred spirit
But the need for a close person does not disappear, that's why the desire to find the soul of the soul arises. It would seem that there is a contradiction in the face: there is no time for a wife (husband), there can be ana lover? Unfortunately, these are the realities of modern life in big cities. For the inhabitant of the metropolis, the family has ceased to be a natural and compulsory space, it is just another project that it is desirable to realize in life. A lot of people are looking for an outlet. Moreover, the appearance of the World Wide Web and the growing popularity of it made comparatively easy the process of finding someone close in spirit. Everything has gone so far that the relationships that the man and woman build on the network began to be separated into a separate type of kinship, calling it a virtual family.
Emotional resonance as a vital necessity
Psychologists came to the conclusion that the reason is in the very foundations of modern society, pushing for the search for another person with whom I want to build relationships. Even if in an existing marriage all more or less satisfied, the need for romance on the side is very high. Therefore, there are virtual or even real connections in parallel with the official union. At the same time it does not matter whether the lovers were found in the world (virtual or real), because the psychological point of view does not make a difference between them. After all, the satisfaction of one and the same needs is being pursued: confirmation of one's uniqueness, chosenness, desire to be interesting, understood .... Unfortunately, the routine format of communication, which prevails in most families, does not imply the presence of romantic themes in it, the possibility of sharing its deep feelings. Very often, the spouses do not even have an idea about that (and often they simply do not have such a need) that they can share each other's secrets with their own souls or tell them about what is so easily communicated to lovers.
But each person needs sympathy, empathy and mutual understanding, and marriage contributes to the loss of sophistication. These nuances in the communication of the spouses weaken or sovsemchezayut. It remains only the way of life. "What to cook for dinner? Take out the trash! Zaberideetey from school (garden). "... However, the situation takes on such outlines not because one of the spouses is a soulless egotist, incapable of real feelings, to the fact that modern life itself is the main killer of the spirit of romanticism in a family alliance. That's when there are online lovers or real, because emotional harmony with another person is a vital necessity.
"Second wife" is the destiny of successful and beautiful?
And what makes unmarried handsome, self-assured women become "second wives". Often they simply do not have the strength to change something in their existence: career, constant desire to improve (mentally, physically, morally) force them to attend trainings, seminars, gyms, beauty salons, exhibitions, social events ... And no wonder that at this rate life by the end of the day they only dream of one thing - to rest. The creation of a family already lacks internal reserves. But the need to feel loved and to love the most does not disappear, and then the woman agrees to the role of a lover.
What to do?
Kakotnestis to the fact that the husband (wife) had lovers? Psychologists advise not to cut from the shoulder, do not rush to withdraw and not engage in self-torture. Maybe it is these relationships from the other space that will help your family stay afloat. Perhaps he (orion) with the help of this other reality complements your personal resource in this unique way. It is necessary to find the reason that compels a person to search for another reality. And start the very communication itself, just over 12 minutes, and probably then there will not be a desire to share thoughts with someone else, go on a date to someone else, touch and kiss someone else ...